


One Hollow Heartbeat at a time

by lantia4ever



Series: Operation HTWYH [2]
Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF Avengers, BAMF Bucky Barnes, Civil War Fix-It, Evil Steve Rogers, Extremis Pepper Potts, HYDRA civil war, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) Feels, Kinda, M/M, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, One-Sided Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Tony Stark, Team Bonding, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, hints of Brucetasha, tiny not even spoilers from CACW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-06-04 02:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 71,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6637918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lantia4ever/pseuds/lantia4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to One Hydra Head at a time - read that first if you don't want to get completely lost in this one real soon, real fast <3</p><p> </p><p>  <em>"You see…the brain works in mysterious ways and we barely scratched the surface of what it is capable of!" ~Arnim Zola</em></p><p> </p><p>Operation Wings was a success, Bucky Barnes is back with all his memories and excited at the prospect of exploring the future with his best friend, who is simply glad the Winter Soldier is gone and the hunt is over. Unlike Tony Stark, who has to deal with the loss of those he loved while trying hard not to get too close to the one person who reminds him of them the most. </p><p>All bets are off now that a superhero civil war is looming over the Avengers not to mention HYDRA is creeping in the shadows, still not ready to give up their lost Asset. </p><p>Can Bucky and Tony find their second chance at loving each other? Or will the loss be too much for both of them to recover from?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My soul alone

**Author's Note:**

> And so it begins, again! \o/
> 
> The road to redemption...for me :'D And our tragic heroes. Prepare for some heavy Tony feels in the first chapter, while bracing yourselves for the upcoming Civil War. I've already finished that particular section of the fic, fixing it as much as I possibly could so whatever comes out in two week's time, I'll just stick with this and whatever other fix-its that are going to emerge from then on ;D All I know is that I have a bad feeling about that movie...it's going to be AWESOME...but the TEARS! T_T 
> 
> Bear with the angst for a while, it can only get better from here...kinda ^^
> 
> Hope you'll like this! <3 Let me know what you think ^^ Now sit back and enjoy, offer for tea and cookies still stands! *starts serving*
> 
> Not BETA'ed, as always, all horrid insults to the English grammar are a result of my lost brain ;D Feel free to point out any unforgivable - or even forgivable - attrocities to me! ^^
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Marvel characters, I'm simply borrowing them for this epic journey again, all in accordance of the fair use terms!

**[ >>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVYFs82mxF0&list=PLk09tmeXpLmDWauxWmurG4l4XUFqK1gTD&index=1)**

 

**_xxxTonyStarkxxx_ **

        It didn’t take long for me to get back to the Tower. I broke every single speed limit on the way there, pretty sure wheezing by a couple police patrols that were either too shocked to react or decided they wouldn’t be able to catch up to me anyway.

        Like I give a fuck…about speed limits…police…crashing off the road…might as well. Slowly drowning in a dark cave would be less painful than this. Medieval fucking torture would be less painful than this!

        So when I barge in through the barely open elevator, completely zoning out FRIDAY’s greetings, I discard my suit jacket and tie and head straight for the bar.

        Yeah…slowly drowning in this bar sounds like a great idea. If only there was something to drown in. What the…

        “The hell?! FRIDAY?!” I shout at the only possible culprit.

        “ _The booze is gone_ ,” she states the obvious and any other day I’d grin at the young AI’s industriousness, but not today.

        “I can see that! Where _is_ it?!”

        “ _In a secure location, possibly not even on the premises of the Tower_.”

        Taking a deep, calming breath I glare at the ceiling, my mouth twitching in anger. “FRIDAY? This is the last time I’m gonna ask where you hid my drinks before I’ll go interrogate the bots about it…while formatting your servers!”

        “ _I won’t tell you, boss. And the bots are currently guarding the enormous alcohol stash, so you can’t interrogate them either. As the saying goes, boss, you’ll get to those drinks over my dead imaginary body. Actually not even then, because nobody else knows where the stash is but me. So please, do format my servers if it will make you feel any better_ ,” she states firmly, dead serious.

        I flinch at the implication of her words, gritting my teeth before I can say any more stupid shit to one of the only…beings in existence that know…about…

        Shaking my head dismissively I turn around storming back to the elevator. If I can’t get dead drunk in here, I’ll do it in some dirty-ass bar few blocks away from here.

        But the elevator doesn’t open.

        “ _You should know that the Tower is currently on inner lockdown, meaning whatever bar you were just intending to leave to is most definitely inaccessible_.”

        “The fuck, FRIDAY?!” I lose it, screaming at the inanimate voice. “What are you, another Ultron?! Just instead of the world you’re hell-bent on destroying me?! I’M _ORDERING_ YOU TO LET ME OUT!”

        “ _I am not some kind of butler slash google slash security program, boss. If you wanted me to absently obey your every order, you shouldn’t have installed my free will protocols, allowing me to decide whether you are about to do something stupid and make sure you aren’t going to do it_.”

        “FUCK YOU!”

        “ _They were my friends too_ ,” she deadpans, freezing another series of curses on my tongue.

        I stare at the ceiling, eyes ablaze…but speechless. Because...what do you say to that?

        “ _I’m so sorry, boss_ ,” she says, so very different from the cheeky, teenager attitude FRIDAY I’ve come to know.

        She reminds me of the Soldier…

        And that’s the last straw. I can’t stop the boiling emotions from taking over anymore so I let them explode. The rage, the sorrow, I just let it fuel my movement as my fists and legs start doing a number on the common room’s furniture. Every swing, every kick feels like I’m breaking all the bones in my arms and legs, but I don’t feel it. The physical pain is just a numb, hollow presence…it can’t compare. It can’t compare to that stabbing agony piercing my heart right now.

        I’ve never felt anything like it...it feels like…like dying. While being still alive. Like my insides were all set on never ending fire, slowly and painfully melting in the heat for all eternity. My own, personal hell.

        It makes me wanna drop dead, just so that this feeling disappears.

        With the last ounce of strength I flip over the coffee table, a broken scream that I don’t even recognize as my own piercing my ears. The table shatters few feet away in fireworks of glass and I fall to my knees, hoping to follow the table’s fate and just break into little dead pieces of nothing.

        Because that’s what I feel like. Dead…broken…

        I don’t see Dummy entering the room until he’s right in front of me, his desperate beeping mirroring my pathetic whimpering. He’s holding onto something and when I look down to inspect the offering, I break down.

        Howard caught me crying once. He grabbed me and with a stern look he said that Stark men are made of iron. They don’t cry. They are solid, invincible and strong. So that’s who I’ve become in my childish escapade to please my asshole father.

        Too bad Howard missed that one chemistry lesson at school about how iron can corrode and crumple apart like sand.

        Iron Man or not, I can’t hold onto those tears any longer and let them flood my face for the second time today. Dummy keeps on beeping, placing the plate on the floor in front of me.

        It’s filled with fresh blueberry cookies, filling the air with a fruity, buttery smell that almost suffocates me because I’ve smelled it before. A simple note is written on a paper left on top of them.

        ‘ _Went to Maine. Don’t worry, Fry has our backs. We’ll be back in time for the retro play date! TS insisted it’s cookie time so, bon appetit_ _ma belle amie_ _!_

_Love, James’_

        “They’re gone, FRIDAY,” I weep through the uncontrollable sobs, placing my forehead against the comfortable cold of Dummy’s solid arm he extends and keeps in place for me to lean into.

        “ _I know, boss_.”

        “He’s…he doesn’t…”

        _“…I know, boss_.”

        That’s where Dummy backs away slightly, making me almost double over, but before I can feel any more devastated by the only comfort there is for me right now I’m pulled into a crushing hug, warm and strong.

        I stiffen at the alien contact before my blurry vision catches the strands of perfectly red hair, a familiar subtle ninja perfume filling my runny nose.

        Natasha.

        I don’t know how she got here or _why_ she’s here, but I can’t bring myself to care about the answers for those questions…because she’s here. She’s not mocking me, ignoring me or pretending like nothing’s wrong…she’s just there, kneeling next to me, hugging me with those usually deadly arms of hers.

        With an embarrassing whimper I’ll deny ever passed my lips, I let myself be pulled even closer and let the tears fall, undoubtedly staining her shoulder with their wetness. She softly whispers, words I can barely recognize as Russian endearments, which only makes me cry harder. So she gently rubs circles on my back with her palm, rocking me in a slow, random rhythm back and forth.

        Eventually my broken sobs die out, leaving me exhausted, slumped against her. “M’sorry,” I mumble into her neck, letting out a shuddering breath.

        “Shouldn’t _I_ be saying that?” she asks and I can almost see her rolling her eyes.

        I choke out a startled laugh and pull away, letting her palms run over my face, smearing away the tears. “You’ve always been better at showing than telling.”

        She cracks a smile and I wanna still be mad at her, just as much as I’m mad at the rest of the Avengers…but I can’t simply stay mad at Natasha Romanov. Definitely not after the former Russian spy who is capable of killing a dozen men with just a glare descended from the heavens and hugged the living shit out of me. I still feel like crap…but I don’t feel like dying anymore, so there’s that.

        “What…what are you doing here?” I blurt out, curiosity finally getting the better of me.

        “Following up on evidence,” she says, pushing something into my hands. A gun and a…a phone. “Thought I’d ask _you_ first why was Bucky Barnes equipped with Stark tech before consulting the mystery with our oblivious Captain.”

        And that right there is why I can’t be mad at Natasha Romanov. I move the two items around absentmindedly, tracing the edges of the phone I know the Soldier was holding on to just few hours ago.

        The Soldier…

        “You don’t have to tell me,” she adds immediately, spotting the flicker of panic on my face. “Not now anyway.”

        She knows. Well…she at least suspects. It would be an insult to her intelligence if she didn’t try calling the only number on that phone only to reach FRIDAY…that alone must be quite a hint. Then there’s me, freaking out back at the HQ and now crying like a baby in her arms…she may not know the whole story…the whole truth…but she must have connected the dots.

        “Thank you,” I breathe out, tightening my grip on the phone as if it was a lifeline.

        She nods, caressing my cheek almost lovingly and stands up. “FRIDAY? We’re gonna need that vodka now.”

        I don’t know if FRIDAY decided me drinking _with_ someone was not as stupid as doing it alone or she just didn’t want to oppose Natasha – I mean, who in their right mind would…except for maybe Pepper – but Dummy whirls away and comes back with the requested bottles after a few moments of waiting.

        I hide the note James left with the cookies in my pocket, even though I’m sure Natasha must have spotted it and read it during my break down. I join the spy on the couch with the cookies safely – well, relatively safely on their way to the workshop in Dummy’s capable hand – and take the offered bottle.

        I can’t stop my sadistic mind from going back to that one time on the roof where the Soldier threw my goddamn whiskey over the edge, deciding to cancel my drink-to-forget mission. I wonder if he’d do it again now…or if he’d spare me the pain and let me forget.

        But if I forget, the Soldier will be gone.

        It was his last wish…to not forget him. To not forget _my_ mission. I decide having a proper focus for my currently volatile mind is a good thing.

        So to Natasha’s absolute astonishment – and mine - I hand the bottle back to her with an anguished smile. “Actually…I’ve got work to do. I…gotta make something right,” I say apologetically, but she just shrugs.

        “Want some company?”

        I get up, giving her my best calculating stare – one _she_ taught me – and nod. “Yeah. Sure. Gimme a minute.”

        I head back to my room to change clothes and take care of those furniture smashing induced bruises, grabbing the gun and the phone on my way out. I can’t give up now. Every fiber of my being wants to…but I refuse to do it.

        Because if I did, their sacrifice would be for nothing.

        “Thank you…Fry…and um…sorry. For before.”

        “ _I understand, boss_.”

        And I know she does.

 

 


	2. Civil war of the heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Iron Man meets Team Cap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday is upon us, finally! ^^ And May, also! I'm so excited! With Camp Nano over I suddenly feel like I've got tons of time on my hands :D Time to work on the WinterIron Springfling! ^^ And focus fully on this here sequel! 
> 
> Thank you all for the amazing response you've left me with in chapter one!! I'm ecstatic! \o/ Enjoy chapter two! *would offer more cookies but they are starting to go stale :O* Yep...Civil War is imminent. In all the senses imaginable :'D Few more days...I can't... :'D

**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY&list=PLk09tmeXpLmDqLTTuOTC808Ak8wF9sPLs&index=1) **

 

**_xxxTonyStarkxxx_ **

Four days. It only took _four days_ for the shit to come raining down on our heads. I mean, come on! I didn't even manage to properly drown myself in work before the government went batshit crazy over the fact we've got the Winter Soldier captured and didn't give him to them yet, which led to a lot of shouting, commanding and eventually running away.

I should have known nobody was going to listen to me. Especially not Cap and his pack of trained dogs. As soon as it looked like they're sending the entire US army to get Barnes, Team Cap made a run for it, effectively becoming fugitives overnight. Because who the fuck cares that _I've_ been working on this for the past couple of months, amassing enough proof to fuck the government up the ass with their own arguments. Nobody fucking cares.

Nobody...

"Any news?" Vision asks, joining me on the roof of the Tower, thankfully disrupting my thoughts.

"Well...both the Bird Brains and the Witch joined Cap in his rebellion. I could bet my entire fortune that the ever so infatuated, not-so-dead traitor of an Agent did too. Guess it's just a matter of time before the rest join in."

"No...it is only a matter of time before this escalates into something everyone is going to regret. Wars have been started for less," he muses, sitting down opposite of me...where James used to sit. "Miss Romanov and Colonel Rhodes do not seem to share the Captain's point of view, so I do not believe they will join him. On the contrary, they seem to favor the options _you've_ presented."

I scoff, running a tired hand over my face. "Too bad they couldn't speak up _before_ the 'Murica squad bolted for the woods. They're making this more difficult than it needs to be."

"I agree."

"You _do_?" I frown at him suspiciously.

"I know mister Barnes is innocent of everything they are trying to blame him for. I also know that you have enough evidence to prove it, even to the most stubborn of people. Given your reputation of dealing with court hearings, I believe the matter would be over quite soon, with mister Barnes once again a free man. The Captain is overreacting this time."

"Pffft...it's his long lost best friend we are talking about. Of course he's overreacting."

"You are supposed to be his friend too."

"Yeah...I'm not so sure about that anymore."

He gives me that knowing look again and sighs. "I am so sorry, Tony," he whispers urgently. "Nobody is going to say this, because nobody else knows, but someone _should_. I am so sorry."

"If anyone should be sorry it's Rogers, you've got nothing to apologize for," I frown deeper, this time in confusion. Vision sure as hell is talkative tonight.

"Yes, he should indeed. Then again, I didn't notice you've been gone for a week either though. So I am sorry about that. FRIDAY told me," he explains when I widen my eyes in surprise. "Very reluctantly, I might add. I don't think she likes me. And while I'm not exactly sure on the details, it would seem James and the Soldier are gone. I am sorry about that too."

Wow that's...that's his JARVIS showing right there. I don't know whether to feel happy or sad about that. "It was the endgame...for the mission. It erased the programming along with all the memories beyond the fall to protect HYDRA."

He nods slowly. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. But first things first. Gotta bring the bad boys and the rebellious teenager back before they do something stupid."

"Race and dance?"

I smirk at him, despite myself and he attempts to return the twisted smile back at me...quite successfully. "Yep. Race and dance, baby."

"What are we waiting for then?" He prompts, standing up.

"A plan?" I confess but his smile only widens.

"You _do_ have a plan."

"Attack is not exactly what I wanna do right now."

"No, you don't. But at the same time you _do_. All you need is Sergeant Barnes. Sounds like an extraction mission to me."

"I'd rather extract someone from the middle of a HYDRA base than fight my way through a trigger happy Legolas, Wicked Witch of the West, Black Hawk not so down and an overly attached superboyfriend."

"Leave them to us," he says confidently, offering a hand to boost me up.

I pause for just a moment, scrutinizing the self-made man in front of me. For someone who was born just a couple months ago, he is way too mature for his own good. Definitely doesn’t get _that_ from JARVIS's side of the family. 

When I take his hand and let myself be hoisted up I decide that I like Vision…and not just because of JARVIS.

 

**_xxxBuckyBarnesxxx_ **

 

It's been a long day. Running, hiding, more running. It doesn't feel right. Mostly because I'm not the kinda guy to run from things, but with the little I know about this strange future, I don't know if I can trust my instincts. So I trust Steve's.

It's bullshit, alright. This whole case against me. I mean...I don't remember any of it. If I killed people, I don't know about it. It's tragic and awful...but I didn’t wanna do it. At least I think I didn't. So if it was up to me I'd stay with Fury and face the trial but Steve would have none of it. He spitted as much right into Stark's face and sounded retreat.

So we're here now in an old SHIELD complex Steve believes nobody will look for us in, eating instant noodle soup. God I would have killed for an instant noodle soup back in the war.

"You should have stayed in the HQ," Steve says, eying our three companions.

"And miss noodle soup night? Never!" Clint replies, slurping an obscene amount of noodles right after.

"I wouldn't want to give Stark the wrong idea. I don't agree with him," Wanda adds, Sam nodding with a muffled "Yeah, man."

"You're a bit biased when it comes to Tony, Wanda," he utters scoldingly. "I can see his point of view. And I can't say he's wrong. Our actions should be coordinated, we _should_ be responsible for what we do. But the way they are planning on executing this is unacceptable. I won't let them do it," he whispers, giving me a pointed look.

He's taking this mother hen business too seriously. It's probably payback for all those times I went all _insane hen_ on him before. Feels like yesterday...not eighty years ago. I hate this...I hate that I don't remember.

The noodle soup night is suddenly interrupted, when the power goes down.

"So much for them not finding us here," Sam curses, getting his wings on.

"Just like we practiced, people. Take the roof, Clint. Aerial support, Sam. Wanda, take the inside, try to stall them. Me and Bucky will go down to the basement and get the car going. Wait for the signal and abort," Steve commands, all Captain America style.

They all confirm with a nod and scramble to their designated positions while me and Steve take the emergency staircase down. We barely manage to get to the basement hallway before we come face to face with nobody else but Iron Man himself, causing Steve to raise his shield.

"You seem a bit defensive in there, Cap," Stark says, his faceplate flicking open.

"Well, it's been a long day. We were attacked by SHIELD personnel; I have no reason to believe _you_ are here for any other reason than them."

"Their reason was simple - they were following orders, Cap. Surely two soldiers such as yourselves understand that. It's funny though, that Captain America refuses to obey orders given by...America. But hey, whatever, I'm on your side you know?"

"You're here to take Bucky," Steve states and Stark doesn't even have the decency to deny it.

"Yup. I'm here to take your boy wonder. Because I'm on your side I'm taking _you_ too. If you can't see reason then I'll have to make you see it."

"Because you deal the absolute as always, Tony. Remember the last time that happened?!"

"That's a low blow, even for you," Stark spits through gritted teeth, face falling blank. "I'm not here to argue with you. This needs to end before either of us does something that can't be taken back."

"Again, you're trying to end a war before it starts. I told you how that goes!"

"Yeah, people die! Well I've got news for you, Rogers! People die anyway! What if you only had to deal with ten, to save a million?! Would that still not be worth it, Captain? In my books, that's reasonable. And in this case all I need is deal with one. Because if this continues we’re gonna fight. And if _we_ fight, the collateral damage can go from a busted building to a busted city!" He glares at Steve, face still unreadable. " _You_ should have some sense in you, Sergeant," he tells me, but again doesn't look at me. "And beat it into your pal over there."

"Or maybe I'll just have to beat it into _you_ ," I retort, finally gaining the engineer's attention. "I'm with Steve."

He rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Of fucking course you are! Which is what I'm offering here. You both surrender, face the trial, we stomp all over it with evidence and then you can ride off into the sunset! And if they're still being troublesome, I'll personally blow the council sky high!"

"No, Tony. This is about principle now. We can't let them do this at all. Doesn't matter if we can win, doesn’t matter we've got the evidence needed. We can't let them execute some biased law they think is needed to control us! We can do that ourselves!"

"Says the guy who only hears about the aftermath in the seven o'clock news! You know how much damage control I've had to deal with already?! How much work and money went into repairing New York after Loki's stunt?! Or Washington?! Or hell, Sokovia?!"

"This isn't about money."

"The hell it isn't! You don't have to pay that money though, do you? I don't give a fuck about that money, Rogers, I can afford it. It's the taking responsibility bit you seem to be a bit stuck on! You want to handle that yourself but so far you haven't contributed to the cause too much, have you?!"

"Tony - "

"Don't Tony me, Rogers! This can end, tomorrow! Not in a week with who knows what kind of devastation in its wake, but _tomorrow_! So fuck your utopian principle, this is reality Rogers! This is America, your beloved star spangled country, so suck it up along with your naivety and come with me!"

I've heard enough. Moving on some kind of violent instinct alone I close the three steps between us and strike at Stark with my metal hand.

A quick flicker of surprise crosses his features before he ducks, faster than I expected him to be. The shield wheezes through the air seconds after, bouncing off of the armor with a clink.

"Let us through, Tony!" Steve demands with a warning tone. He's gonna fight if he has to. And if he has to, so do I.

Stark straightens, giving me a searching glance. "Last chance, boys. Mommy is tired of fighting already."

Steve's face hardens and I know even before the shield snaps back to his hands only to take flight again, that fight it is.

The shield catches Stark off balance so I step up to deliver another punch, but as soon as I swing my arm it suddenly goes limp, falling uselessly along my body. That catches _me_ off balance and I stumble against the wall.

"Bucky! What did you do to him?!"

"Sorry, not a big fan of metal fists in my face! Or shields," Stark utters and I can hear the shield swooshing by again, this time over Steve's head right through the small top window behind him. Steve pulls his arm towards it, using the callback, but the shield doesn't appear again. "Don't bother, it’s on its way to New York. Or just York, you never know. FRIDAY has a weird sense of humor."

Steve isn't disheartened by the departure of his trademark weapon and simply puts his fists up. "I can do this all day!"

Starks faceplate shuts close again, the eerie glow of his eyes burning through the darkened hall. "I figured you could. I don't wanna fight you, Rogers."

"I don't wanna fight you either, Tony. But this...I just can't let this go."

"Why not?" He asks after a pause, almost sounding desperate.

"Because he's my friend," Steve answers simply, his words warming my heart...and Stark's words breaking it a little bit.

"So was I."

I catch Steve's utterly hurt expression and for the first time hints of uncertainty too. But before I can react, my vision goes black. At first I thought maybe Stark's armor lights just switched off, but even then my enhanced sight could see at least silhouettes. I realize my entire body is going limp as well, following the metal hand's example.

"What the...," Steve gasps, his breath hitching.

I can hear a thump from where I last saw Steve standing and then all sounds fall into the distance.

"I'm sorry," Stark whispers, somewhat close and then I fall into the dreamless unconsciousness.


	3. Divided we stand, together we fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoever said waking up in the future and joining the group of superheroes would be easy...? Steve did...and Bucky is no longer sure if he can trust Steve with this kind of adult stuff anymore...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, hello there ^^ I might have hinted on updating early in some comments and since I am a bit ahead and I feel like treating you all amazing folks to a new chapter, I've decided to do exactly that! The much awaited conclusion to the Civil War...which I still won't see for more than a week :O But my heart rests easy knowing THIS is how it happened...in here at least :D
> 
> Now that Civil War will be done with, get ready for a whole new batch of angst, team bonding, team breaking, some winteriron feels but not too much winteriron just yet and...well...something else completely :D As always, expect the unexpected! ^^ 
> 
> Love you all <3

**_[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLk09tmeXpLmC8BDJ0waw6H-jUjXwZAsyY) _ **

 

**_xxxBuckyBarnesxxx_ **

Can't remember the last time I've woken up in a prison cell. Well, there was that one time I got taken by HYDRA with the squad. And that one incident back in ‘38 when I punched a drunkard all the way out of a store I was helping out at.

Other than that, this is definitely a first...I think.

I don't know what's going on until I'm being dressed and led out into what I believe is a courthouse, full of posh looking bastards in suits and ties. My arm is still unresponsive. What has Stark done to it is a mystery to me, because he didn't even touch me.

Speaking of Stark, he's sitting on the right side of the large court hall, an unnecessary name tag sitting on the crescent shaped desk in front of him. Looking around I can spot the rest of the Avengers as well, sitting in two teams opposite each other. Divided the same way as before.

The guards lead me to the front, sitting me down next to the similarly confused Steve. I think neither of us knows what exactly happened in that SHIELD base. Other than that we got our asses kicked by Iron Man. With the exception of the Scarlett Witch, team Cap looks quite banged up, black eyes and scratches visible on their faces and hands. Whatever went down, it wasn't pretty.

"Order!" The man sitting in the middle of the elevated desk with ‘Elliott Regards’ written on his name plate shouts and waits for the present people and press to settle down. "We can begin today's hearing! Captain Steven Grant Rogers!" He calls out and Steve stands while the man continues. "Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes!" I follow suite and stand next to Steve. "Are you aware of the accusations made against you?"

"We are," Steve answers and I have to force myself not to flinch. I can tell he's pissed just by that furious undertone of his, but what really gets to me is that he answers _for_ me. Like I'm not capable of doing it myself.

And that pisses _me_ off. He really is crossing lines with the motherhenning.

"Very well," the man clears his throat and starts going through the charges. Mine, anyway. The big shining screen behind the guy starts flashing with images of documents and photographs, all supposedly connected to crimes the Winter Soldier committed. Some of them are more than disturbing, but my memory fails to provide me with any kind of recognition. So while I do feel bad for the murdered and disappeared folk, sympathize even, that's all I feel.

I know I should feel guilty, but my body just doesn't obey.

"Can you deny these accusations, Sergeant?"

"He doesn't remember," Steve replies for me _again_ and God knows I love this guy, but I could punch him right now.

"I don't know," I say, glaring at my best friend. "I can't confirm or deny the actions of this...Winter Soldier. Because I don't remember anything after 1944," I answer truthfully, yet earning a number of disapproving curses from within the public audience.

"So you claim, yes. We don't have any proof that claim is true though."

"Yes we do," Stark speaks out, momentarily stunning the other guy into silence.

"We do?!" He asks in disbelieve, as if he wasn't expecting Stark to contribute anything against what he was saying. Interesting.

Despite everything Steve told me about Howard's extraordinary and extravagant son, he simply forwards a paper to Regards and waits in silence for his reaction. Even Steve looks taken aback by his teammate's cool and collected demeanor.

"That hardly proves anything, Mister Stark. We can't trust Wanda Maximoff in this matter either! For all we know, she might be covering for him. She _did_ side with the Captain in his little rebellious act, after all."

Stark raises a challenging eyebrow and forwards another paper to him, again saying nothing.

"So you'd have us trust a former HYDRA trained, Russian spy instead? Ridiculous."

Stark takes a calming breath and addresses him. "Who _would_ you trust, Regards?" he asks eventually but doesn't wait for an answer, just sends him another paper which causes some to chuckle or snort, others to roll their eyes.

Regard’s amusement disappears, frown wrinkling his forehead. "Why did nobody present this document before?!"

"Because I had to raid a HYDRA outpost to get it? It _did_ take a while to find the uncensored version," he shrugs, winking at Natasha who gives him the tiniest of smiles in return.

"See and this is exactly why the Avengers are a volatile, uncontrolled bullet!" the woman – Helena Kurt – sitting next to Regards speaks out, glaring at Stark. "The things you do are unprecedented! Who knows how many unwarranted escapades the Avengers are making if Mister Stark just gets up and goes to raid a HYDRA base without anyone knowing!"

"If I can get _kidnapped_ by HYDRA without anyone knowing, I say I've got the right to _attack_ HYDRA without anyone knowing!" Stark barks back - so much for cool and collected, causing the hall to fall silent, except for the startled gasps coming from the Avengers.

"What?!" Steve blurts out, eyes widened, piercing Stark with what almost seems like…a disapproving stare. What the hell, Stevie?

"A week, Rogers. A fucking _week_! _That's_ what I've been up to, if you were still wondering," Stark utters with enough venom to poison ten super soldiers.

"These documents might as well have been forged!" Regards says, discarding the paper to a growing pile to his left.

"In other words you are not going to accept any proof that you haven't procured yourself, is that it? Because in that case I have two options for you. I've got Madame Hydra's Hawaiian address, so you can pay her a visit, talk about this over tea with her or I've got my legal team on speed dial ready to storm this place the second I call."

"This is not a court hearing, Mister Stark."

"Not _yet_ it isn't. But judging from the rapid pace you're discarding my evidence you will soon call for one. Thought I'd save us the trouble and have the team rip you to shreds...again."

"Mister Stark! This committee won't stand for any threats!" Kurt hollers.

"Threats? I was simply _reminding_ the committee what happened last time you were proposing an insane idea in my presence. But please...do go on."

Regards squints at my direction and picks the last paper back up. "According to these copies of HYDRA's operations, the Winter Soldier's latest mission was to retrieve James Barnes's memories by eliminating further specified HYDRA operatives. HYDRA contained those memories through...conditioning methods too gruesome to describe. Apparently this operation had been triggered during Project Insight and was successfully finished couple days ago. As a result, the Winter Soldier programming had been completely erased and all memories gained during the programming's presence had been lost as well."

The room once again fills with muttering and gasping, in Steve's case yet another stunned look.

Stark seems satisfied and to further Regards’s embarrassment he forwards him a whole _set_ of files and papers. "The reports about the Winter Soldier killing HYDRA go back quite some time. Can't forge _that_ now can we? I suggest we move on to the pressing matter at hand...unless someone still wants to blame Sergeant Barnes for something out of his control?"

"Someone needs to take responsibility! Do you know how many people lost their lives in the wake of the Winter Soldier? How many families had been broken?! They all want justice!"

"Good, because they've gotten it!" Stark deadpans, almost stunning the woman silent.

"You have no idea - "

"The Winter Soldier killed my parents! I've got _every_ idea what it's like to desire justice! And in my case it was served a long time ago!" He interrupts her and there's no comeback this time.

In fact the room is dead silent and I don't realize I'm gaping at Stark until I draw a startled breath.

I killed his parents. The Winter Soldier killed his parents...Howard…I... _I_ did that...I...

Stark cuts my train of thought with his steady, confident voice, dominant in every way. "James Barnes was captured by HYDRA, he'd been a prisoner of war ever since. Mistreated, mishandled in ways _none_ of you here can imagine, forced to do HYDRA's bidding! To them he was less than a man, even less than a weapon. And when he fought back and he did, they made him a slave in his own mind. You wanna play the blame game?! Blame HYDRA! Not Barnes or even the Winter Soldier. Blame HYDRA! Now...can we get to the part where you say you want to control the Avengers and punish Captain America for his recent rebel act so I can tell you you can shove that proposal right up your bureaucratic asses or call my lawyers and see us at court?" Nobody dares to answer and if I was stunned just then, I was petrified when the room actually erupts in applause from most of the press members. "Good, in that case we are getting the fuck outta here," he adds to the Avengers, throwing his name tag theatrically into the livid audience and walks off the stage with a victorious smirk.

"Tony - " Steve starts, but Stark passes us by without notice, if anything, he glares at the confused guards still surrounding us.

"Looks like we're off the hook," Sam comes up behind us, clasping a firm hand on our shoulders.

I spot Natasha make an abrupt stop on her way towards us, glaring at Sam's back and turning to chase Stark down the hall, now filled with shouting journalists.

"We should perhaps move this elsewhere," Vision suggests, eying the still speechless committee suspiciously.

"Yeah, let's go," Clint agrees and leads the way.

I turn to follow them, giving Steve a careful glance and almost have to reel back.

Now, I've seen Steve genuinely angry many times. Maybe even furious once or twice. But all those memories fade in comparison with what I'm seeing now.

"Steve?"

His fiery gaze snaps to me and fades a little bit. "Let's go," he forces through gritted teeth and with a face full of determination he starts squeezing through the crowd.

I want to break the tension, say something, but I don't know if there's anything to say. Just yesterday we've been fugitives on the run...now we're back to being free, even more so in my case. Just as Stark promised. He said it could be over tomorrow and now it's over. Or it seems like it is, because none of those assholes back there looked like they want to have a go at Stark's lawyers.

We were ready to fight a _war_. People would get hurt, die even. But true to his words, Stark singlehandedly put a stop to it before it really started.

I'm not sure what that says about the man, but I know what it says about me - I'm an asshole. My instincts aren't as fried as I thought they were, maybe I _should_ have given Stark a chance after all...make Steve do the same. But I thought they were friends. Hell I thought they were... _friends friends_. So when Steve said Stark is way over his head about this, I didn't have a reason to not trust his judgment.

But clearly I've misjudged the state of their relationship...or the lack there of. Stark is a member of the Avengers. And if the Avengers are anything like the Howling Commandos, there is no way Steve would be oblivious to the fact his teammate got kidnapped. By HYDRA of all people. For a week!

What the hell is wrong with you, Stevie?!

I don't have time to maul over it further, because the next thing I know the ground violently shakes and we are knocked off our feet by an invisible force I recognize as an explosion. Pieces of concrete debris smashing into us, distant heat just grazing our vicinity from where the fire must now run wild.

Before I even get back on my feet, Steve is already fighting a tall man, dressed head to toe in grey and black.

"HYDRA!" Clint shouts, his voice almost disappearing in the midst of the crowd going wild panicking and running around.

Soon, all of the present Avengers are engaged in a fight with at least one HYDRA agent. I take a second to appreciate those various fighting techniques, even without their weapons, they are holding their own against the armored and armed opponents.

Seeing they have the hallway under control I move back towards the court room where the explosion originated from.

It is a gruesome sight when I enter the devastated room. I've seen men lose limbs and die horrible deaths during the war, but here, in the middle of a city, not in war...it’s an unexpected sight. I carelessly lower my guard, allowing someone to tackle me down from behind.

I recover faster, coming face to face with a man in a black and dark grey getup, mask and a helmet with a white skull on it. For some reason I freeze, as if my body didn't want to fight this man and it's all he needs to stab me in my flesh arm with some kinda needle.

That brings me out my stupor and I strike at the man with my metal hand and miss, realizing I've swayed on my legs, coming down to the floor. Hold on…when did my metal hand come back online?

"Don't struggle. It'll be easier that way," the man leers, leaning over me. "Time to go home, Asset," he adds and reaches down to grab me.

I wanna fight back, punch this punk in the face and tell him I ain't going nowhere unless he buys me dinner first, but my mind stills once again at the name he calls me.

Asset. I'm not...I'm not an _Asset_! Screw you!

With the last ounce of strength I hit the clown straight in the crotch and if he ain’t some super human, I’m tellin’ ya he’s not gonna be havin’ no fun time anytime soon.

He stumbles a few paces away from me and spits. “You piece of shit! You’re gonna pay for this! Oh just you wait for all the things I’m gonna do to you! I’ll - ” he’s cut off by a bright yellowish blast hitting his back, making him double over.

Coming from behind him is Stark, still in his fancy three-piece suit and sunglasses, aiming with his single metal gauntlet at the fallen HYDRA agent.

“You’re getting uglier and uglier every time we meet, Rumlow,” he utters with a smirk, shooting at him again, but the man…Rumlow…dodges the shot with a quick side-roll and quickly comes to his feet.

He puts his helmet away, revealing a scarred…pretty ugly face. “Wanna say it to my face, Stark? I’ve got something special waiting for _you_ too, don’t you worry. Gotta get your boyfriend over here to behave himself first…and then he can watch,” he threatens and lunges at Stark, who dodges, just as fast as I remember him being able to.

“Fuck you, Rumlow!” he barks at him, hitting another well-aimed shot from the gauntlet before aiming at…me.

What the…

A single, small dart flies out of the gauntlet’s compartment and lodges into my neck, spreading warmth and… _feeling_ back into my weakening body. Does everyone around here carry superhuman disabling and enabling darts in their pockets?!

Rumlow meanwhile manages to pretty much throw Stark ten feet away into some wooden debris, but the engineer doesn't seem too fazed.

"Go help the golden boy, I've got this clown handled," he tells me, leaving no space for argument. Watching him get up with a wince definitely didn't back his words up though.

I scramble to my feet and head to the exit, eyes fixed on Rumlow, who is completely focused on Stark now. They resume fighting and it makes me freeze at the door. I have no idea where this sudden urge to turn around and...and... _protect_ Stark is coming from, but it stops me in my tracks, that's how strong it feels. Like my body is trying to follow some sort of given instinct. And sure, if this was Steve, protecting him comes naturally to me, but _Stark_?!

I push the questions aside and give in to the urge, letting my body move almost on its own accord to attack Rumlow from behind.

He jerks away and if he was a lesser man I'm sure he'd yelp in surprise. It doesn't last long though, his face morphs into a twisted grin and he fights us both as if being double-teamed by the Winter Soldier and Iron Man was something he did regularly.

It doesn't take long for Stark to be flying against a wall again and this time it ignites a spark of furious rage inside me. Where the hell is all this coming from?!

Whatever it is, it must show on my face, because Rumlow stops his creepy smirking at the sight of me and takes a steadying step back. It doesn't help him because the next second he's on the ground, struggling against my swinging fists. With a kick to my stomach he gets the upper hand for just a moment, which is enough for him to change the tables, rolling over me with his fist already on the way to my face.

He strikes fast and hard, not the kinda punch I'd expect from a human...then again, who the fuck knows _what_ this guy is.

"If you don't have the sense to submit," he hisses between punches, "then I'm gonna have to beat it into you, Asset. And I'll enjoy every _second_ of - " he's suddenly blown off of me with a blast similar to the one Stark's gauntlet made, but this time much bigger...and more devastating.

I can see the agent land good thirty feet away from me, his chest smoking where the blast hit him.

"And you keep telling _me_ I don't know when to shut up," Stark retorts in a strangely distorted voice I recognize from last night - when he's inside his armor. Glancing back, he is indeed fully decked out now in the golden-red state of the art suit.

Rumlow doesn't reply. In fact, he doesn't so much as twitch. "Guess he's done for," I mutter, sitting up, mindful of my bruised stomach.

"Yeah...for now. I said I've had this handled, Barnes!" He barks, walking around me, his faceplate sliding off.

"Didn't look like it."

"Well I had! Now you know, so next time when I tell you to go, you go!"

I snort and glare at the man. "And who the fuck made _you_ the boss of me?!"

He reels back at that, his angry expression falling neutral. "Nobody, I'm not...I didn't mean to order you around," he says with a guilty tone appearing out of nowhere. "Just...I can take care of myself, alright? Against one guy, for sure so...next time just...don't bother with me," he clears his throat, snapping the faceplate back, covering his slowly cracking mask of a face.

"Everything alright here?" a hoarse voice asks from the blown entrance.

"Swell," Stark answers and turns to leave. "That's Rumlow over there, would you mind introducing his fucked face to the HQ’s holding facilities, Nat?" He asks monotonously.

Natasha glares at the fallen form of the HYDRA agent and her eyes sparkle dangerously. "With pleasure," she nods and moves to further disable the agent.

"Anyone seen Steve?!" Clint drops out of nowhere right next to Stark's retreating form.

"He chased Zemo outside," Natasha replies.

"Zemo?! As in Baron Zemo?!" Stark jerks around at the mention of the name.

"You know him?" Natasha quirks her eyebrow in surprise.

"I've...heard about him," he says uncertainly, not a complete lie, but there's more to this apparently. "He's in charge of a local HYDRA cell, working alongside...Madame Hydra," he adds and flies off outside, missing the collective frowns of confusion.

"Was Stark having a HYDRA introductory tour while being kidnapped?!" Clint scoffs and has to dodge a flying dagger, confirming my suspicion that Natasha's glares can, in fact, send actual daggers. "Hey!"

"What were _you_ doing when he was kidnapped? Having your toenails painted?" She utters menacingly at her supposed good friend. "Don't be an ass."

Clint sighs, shoulders slumping. "Jeez...fuck. I'm sorry."

"Save that for Tony, now help me get this HYDRA dirtbag to the jet," she orders him and gives me a pointed look. "You should go check on Steve now."

Why is everyone sending me to Steve today? Is the punk incapable of taking care of himself all of a sudden, or is everyone just trying to get rid of me?

Ain't gonna argue back to _her_ , though. Natasha is nothing if not intimidating...the way she casually grabs Rumlow’s huge frame by the collar and drags him effortlessly out of the room almost makes me shiver.

So I pull myself up and decide to test those superpowers by jumping out of the blown out window right next to the court steps. Only then I realize how damaged the building really is, the better part of its right side was shaved off by the explosion, debris everywhere. The stairs are flooded by employees and bystanders in various states of panic, but I can't see Steve anywhere.

"Steve?!" I call over the loud crowd. I spot Stark, hovering above the scene, looking around almost just as frantically as I am now.

"I'm here Bucks," I hear somewhere to my left and soon, Steve emerges from the retreating mob of civilians, shield bloodied, uniform torn up but seemingly unhurt otherwise.

"What about Zemo?" Wanda asks, running up to us with Sam and Vision.

Steve shakes his head. "Escaped. Looks like he didn't expect to have his minions so easily dispatched by us and got scared."

"Hell yeah. But don't run off like that, man. Come on," Sam berates him and Steve just nods apologetically.

I breathe out a relieved sigh, knowing everyone was safe and accounted for. When it came to the Avengers, at least. Those civilians up there, most were not so lucky getting caught in that explosion. I can see where the government is coming from...no wonder they are scared, if this is how encounters concerning the Avengers play out.

To imagine we could have ended up fighting each other...Stark was right. People would have died. Hell, we could have ended up killing each other...because of something as stupid as this. Guess we owe the engineer an apology. Judging by everything we've learnt during the trial today, more than one apology actually.

Speaking of Iron Man I look to where I last saw him and instead stare into thin air. He's gone, the eye catching red and gold nowhere to be seen.

For reasons I still can't figure out, I wanna find him and...do something. I've met him five days ago and I'm already in protective mode, what the fuck, Bucky?!

The anxious feeling doesn't disappear even hours later, when civilians were evacuated, the building secured and we're on our way back to the HQ in the fancy quinjet.

Seriously now…who the hell _is_ Tony Stark?!


	4. The A-Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When the boys don't get along, lock them up in a room together..." James said that once and Tony can't believe how effective that advice is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! ^^ So, new chapter, as always...it is Sunday after all! The tourism season begins around here which for me means I'm now working on weekends. That is why I'm updating later than I usually am! But, still Sunday! ^^ The week was a roller-coaster for me, but now that it's over, I'll get back to all of you awesome, aweeeeesome people and your lovely comments! <3 Thank you all for them and the kudos and bookmarks, I can't believe the response this is getting! <3
> 
> I promised team time...and here it is. I promised a long chapter...and here it is. The tags promised death...and here it is...*whistles and walks away* I'm so sorry! T_T Plot convenience is a bitch :D *starts running* Pls don't hurt me :'D

**_[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22GEvDupWGo&list=PLk09tmeXpLmBYBMswcP9eP5ZqOvGgVUzf&index=3) _ **

 

**_xxxTonyStarkxxx_ **

****

"Absolutely not," I cut Fury off as soon as this ridiculous litany of nonsense leaves his mouth.

"It would be only temporary and - "

"No."

"Stark...at least hear me out!" He says with all the patience in the world.

"Nothing to hear there, darling. I'm not letting the Avengers back in the Tower, Fury!"

He sighs, his stern eye softening uncharacteristically. "There are no Avengers anymore, Stark," he deadpans. "If you haven’t noticed, these past few months the team...was not a team! Rogers spent his time chasing Barnes, Romanoff spent her time chasing Banner, Barton played house and you holed yourself up in here _so_ well that if HYDRA were to snatch you away nobody would notice! Oh wait...that actually happened, didn't it?!"

"So?" I narrow my eyes at him, not liking the way this discussion is heading.

"The team is broken. The first proper Avengers assemble call came yesterday in the court hall and you might not have seen the others fight, but I did. _Zero_ teamwork, Rogers even ran off alone to chase Zemo, Natasha was fighting five agents before anyone decided to lend a hand to her and Vision and the Witch almost got more civilians killed when their powers clashed at one point! The Falcon managed to sweep them away in time, but without his wings he almost got _himself_ killed too!"

Shit.

I've seen the footage from the surveillance cameras. Any other time I'd tell Fury he's exaggerating but he really isn't this time. The fight was a mess...an uncoordinated, out of hand mess. Everyone fought on their own front, letting fucking _HYDRA_ team up against them...the only reason we didn't get our asses kicked is because discount HYDRA goons fresh from HYDRA kindergarten won't stand a chance against trained assassins and supersoldiers, no matter how many of them attack at once.

Unknowingly I did the same thing. I followed Rumlow into the court room without notifying anyone too, just my watch gauntlet for a weapon. Sure, the suit was an route, but if Barnes hadn't been there I'd get my ass kicked before it'd arrive. Hell, I even told him to _leave_ the most dangerous HYDRA operative I know to _me_...I blame it on the fact it was Barnes - who I still don't wanna deal with - but it was really stupid anyway.

Fury is right. The team is broken. It was broken even before Rogers ran off with the ‘Murica squad, even before that fight at the SHIELD base. It all started with Ultron. Hell...it started with Project Insight. The seeds of distrust had been sown at that time...when SHIELD was more HYDRA than SHIELD. When Captain Perfect decided there are people in the team he can't trust...like _me_. When the Winter Soldier and James turned up in my workshop at three AM and crashed into my life like a fucking comet plummeting into the sun...melting as it goes...and disappearing in the end.

"How many casualties are there?" I ask, leaving the 'this time' hanging in the air.

"Forty-five. Some died today in the hospital. There are still about two hundred injured, too."

I run my palms over my weary eyes, knowing exactly where this will lead. Another shitfest for the Avengers. Another press damage control. And literal damage control on the blown up building. And I doubt Rogers will be the one handling all that...nope. Gonna be me, _again_.

"I'm not asking you to give them birthday cards or have Christmas dinner together...I'm asking you to _let them in_. So you can at least mend the teamwork, if your relationships are beyond repair. The HQ is too impersonal...they need something...homey. Where I'm not gonna be lookin’ over their shoulders."

I stare at Fury in astonishment. "You're...you're _asking_. Not demanding or ordering but _asking_...then the next thing you say is the Avengers need time off from your all-seeing eye of Sauron and overall you're implying that the best course of action is to have them here in the Tower...with _me_. Where the hell did you bury Fury's body and who the hell are you?!"

"Not just with you, Stark. I'm counting on you to find a way to bring these stubborn asshats back together. At least in the field," he explains, dead serious.

"Me. _Me_?! Have you _met_ me?! Of course you did...you _do_ remember my assessment right? I don't play well with others!"

"I was wrong."

I have to make a double-take at that, squinting at the man in front of me. No way this is Nick fucking Fury.

"Don't gimme that look, Stark. I was wrong. There, I said it. You better be recording this for later use 'cause you ain't never gon' hear me repeat this."

" _Already made some copies_ ," FRIDAY chimes in with her best uninterested voice. " _Do you want me to put it on repeat and make a ten hour version of it_?"

I smirk at the nearest camera, while enjoying Fury's exasperated sigh.

"Don't push it, _Monday_ ," he tells her with a clear warning. As if Fry would be intimidated by that. She _will_ however be offended by the name joke. She hates those. Fury's walking a thin line in here.

" _Twenty hours then_ ," she decides and goes silent.

"Tell your AI to stop being cute with me."

"Oh, Nickie...you better pray she doesn't post it on YouTube next."

"She wouldn't...oh hell. Of course she would. She's even worse than you are. I was wrong that I was wrong. You're a bad influence, no way my plan is gon’ work..."

"Too bad it's your only plan so you don't have a choice but persuade me to invite the Avengers in. Don't give _me_ that look, Fury. If you're coming to me for help I know it's a last resort option."

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say. Now how am I doin' with that persuasion business, Stark?'

I wanted nothing more than a break. After yesterday...Pepper pretty much raced every passenger jet from Tokyo to New York as soon as she got wind of the trial, so she could see this mess for herself. Got an earful for not telling her about the kidnapping which I expected. What I didn't expect was her telling me:

" _Steve's such a jerk! I'm going to kill him_!"

I had to stop her from bringing her fiery revenge on the entire team...not that I wouldn't love seeing that...but Pepper deserves better than this. She's been dealing with my messes since...since we've met. She needs to retire from this awful job...besides, despite her opinion I can, in fact, take care of my own messes. So I sent her back to Tokyo, promising I’d take care of myself and this whole mess, too.

Looks like Fury's way is the only way. If an alien invasion happens tomorrow, Avengers would fall like flies the way we are right now. I don't wanna deal with them...Steve most of all...and Barnes...but we need to be able to fight side by side, watch each other's back. Or we're gonna be taken down by the first real threat that appears...and there's one around the corner at all times.

"Fine...have it your way. If they wanna come in here then I'll let them. I'll even get rid of all those booby traps I've got in the vents, just so Barton can survive the first week of this...summer team building camp. But!" I raise a halting finger when Fury begins grinning in victory. "Captain Perfect Pants needs to be told this is _my_ place. My _home_. My home, my rules!"

"Deal!" Fury nods and gets up. "If they're not gon’ behave you send them my way for time out."

" _You_ better be outta my hair, too," I add.

He gives me a calculating look that can't mean anything good. Like he's contemplating telling me something.

"What?!" I run out of patience urging him to speak up.

"I know everybody's been busy lately, which is why I didn't mention this before. I've got bad news from Washington DC. Agent Carter died two days ago," he says solemnly.

My head snaps up so fast it almost makes me faint as the blood drains from my face. "Peggy?! But...she was...I told Doctor Sean to call me if something happened!"

"She passed away in her sleep, Stark. It was sudden...I told Sean I will deliver the announcement myself. You and Rogers were busy fighting so I thought it was for the best to wait for both your heads to cool off first."

Why is everything going to shit?! First JARVIS, then James and the Soldier, now aunt Peggy...is this some sort of bad karma?! The fuck did I do to deserve it though?!

"Steve knows?"

"Told him this morning."

"Good. That's one thing he really wouldn't wanna hear from me first."

I'm still majorly mad at him...so mad I'm still tempted to let Pepper loose on him. But Peggy was his first love...and so far the last, too. I'll give the guy a break...not because of him but because I know Peggy would want me to. Even decades later after she had a husband and a family she loved and that loved her, she never stopped talking about Steve as if he was the centre of the universe. She admired him, respected him...loved him, until the end.

It used to magnify my jealousy towards the American icon when I was a kid...but at the same time I had to admit that he had to be quite a man if a woman such as Peggy talked about him with such unequivocal devotion.

Needless to say I'm not impressed so far.

"Is a date for the funeral set?" I ask before Fury leaves. It's not like I would wanna go there...but later, when the crowds of family and friends dissipate, I’d like to have a moment.

"It's tomorrow. Call Agent 13 if you want details," he informs me and heads for the elevator. "I'll send in the Avengers ASAP, should be here by tomorrow morning. That enough time to get ready?"

"Yeah...sure. I'll handle this."

He turns around, ignoring the opening doors. "I know you will. I _trust_ that you will. Another thing you better be recording, Stark, I'll deny I've ever said that."

I smirk at his retreating form and pray this guy never changes.

 

###

 

The funeral was huge - as could be expected. Everyone who's ever met Peggy must have fallen in love with her...other than the bad guys...hell, maybe even them. So the huge spacious cemetery with a view of Washington was full of people. Friends and family mingled with former colleagues, acquaintances and admirers.

I stayed back, just out of sight. I would have come later today, but since the Earth’s mightiest heroes are arriving to the Tower I thought I better be there to control the chaos.

There was one person missing on the funeral, though. Someone I definitely thought I'm gonna have to carefully avoid, since I'm pretty sure he has no idea me and Peggy knew each other. For some reason Steve fucking Rogers didn't show up.

What in seven hells is wrong with him?! Was he always Mr. No-show?

I was prepared for a lot when I finally arrive back in the Tower, but not this. Dressing into some casual black Sabbath themed clothes I make my way to the common room which is flooded by the expectant Avengers.

I don't even manage to look them over and say hi before there's an angry looking supersoldier right in my face.

"We need to talk," he utters in a forcibly calm tone and grabs me by the hand, pretty much dragging me away from the team into the privacy of one of the adjacent rooms.

I'm so stunned I don't even have time to struggle, let alone tell him to fuck off. He only lets me go once the door closes.

He takes a steadying breath and all hell breaks loose.

He starts shouting at me. Not his usual raised Captain America voice, but a regular pissed off Steve Rogers shouting. About how irresponsible I have been these past few months, not communicating with the team, not telling them about HYDRA and the kidnapping...I'm still too stunned to process all the shit that's leaving his mouth but at one point he even starts swearing.

Just as James suggested he was capable of. Fuck's and shits flying everywhere.

All I know is that when he finally stops, face bright red with pumped up emotions, mixture of anger, hurt and disappointment, I have to make a double take to confirm this is actually happening. That this is really Steve no-show, zero-fucks-given Mr. Perfect Rogers. Because I sure as hell don't recognize him.

The little one-sided exchange must have surely been heard at least throughout three other floors, so I'm not surprised to see Natasha already looming in the doorway with her patented murder face.

"Back off, Rogers," she warns in that deceptively collected tone. "I think you're forgetting why we're here."

Steve gives her a daring glare, but doesn't say anything, just pushes past her back into the common room.

I recover fast enough to follow him before Nat conjures up some kind of pitiful expression and sends it my way.

So much for a good start of the team bonding thing.

Time to initiate Operation press poker face. "Well...now that we've got that covered," I look at Rogers, unamused, "I can properly welcome you to the Stark Tower!" I say excitedly, making sure to stress the _Stark_ in the _Tower_. "Pick a floor, pick a room and get settled. And since - "

"Tony," Natasha stops me in my speech, placing a halting hand on my shoulder. "Let us do the talking for a moment," she says, piercing Clint with a stern look.

"Hey man, we are shit teammate's and even shittier friends," Clint starts, eying Rogers wearily. "Sorry ain't gonna cut it, we know that. So feel free to shit on us for as long as you want to, we deserve it! We deserve worse...so knock yourself out. We just wanna be able to work together again...like a team."

"Yeah, man. You really showed them assholes whose boss yesterday," Sam continues, exchanging nods with Rhodey. Considering it was him who busted his ass off the sky and shredded his wings they sure seem to be tame around each other. Guess exchanging a couple punches worked for the guys.

Seeing Vision and Maximoff couldn't be standing further away from each other without leaving the room, it probably didn't work for them.

It's not like I disagree with Mr. Eyepatch about the whole team bonding thing in here, on the contrary, it's a great idea. I might have taken two supersoldiers down with a sneaky weaponized gas, bringing the fight to an end but the other guys really went hardcore on each other in the meantime. Clint's face - and crotch - is still recovering from the job Nat's done on it, Sam's Wings are kinda in pieces in my workshop – Rhodey’s handy repulsor work and Vision...well, he looks just fine, but to me it seemed like he was about to burst into flames before Wanda finally surrendered.

Punches were thrown, things were said and so there's no wonder Fury sent the class for recess. It's all I wanted, back when I built the Tower and the Avengers were formed I thought it'd be great for the team to stay here like this. But that was before all this shit happened.

Being on a team with at least two people I want to ignore is one thing. But living under the same roof with them...that's bordering with HYDRA torture right there.

I dare glance at Barnes for a second and I have to stop myself from snapping my eyes back on him immediately. He's standing close to the elevator, off to the side of everyone else, silent, eyes pinned on the ground.

I keep reminding myself that this is Bucky, _not_ James. That no matter how similar they may seem they're not the same person. But I could swear the man I'm seeing here right now is not Bucky. Not the Bucky I've met for the first time on that courtyard at the Avengers HQ. He's more James than Bucky right now and that alone almost makes me bolt for the exit...if only the exit wasn't blocked by _him_.

"Well...I told Fury I'm gonna give this a try. If it works is entirely up to you, guys," I tell them, carefully watching Barnes out of the corner of my eyes. "Some of you are off to a better start then others," I add, glaring at Steve, who in the meantime managed to cool down somewhat, his angry gaze still pinned on me though.

I send them off to search for whatever room they wanna stay in, watching Barnes take off with Rogers - not surprised there - ignoring me altogether. Kinda like I ignored him for the past week.

That's just great.

"Why is your new creepy AI telling me the eighty-fifth is occupied already?" Clint pouts, glaring at the ceiling. I won't admit it for as long as I can, but I did miss bickering with this idiot.

"Because that's _my_ floor now," I answer him, causing both him and Nat to frown.

Clint recovers fast. "Does that mean the penthouse is up for grabs?!" He inquires excitedly and when I nod he jumps with a kid like shriek of happiness. "Yahooo, calling dibs on that one!"

I raise my eyebrows at Nat, who already picked the floor closest to the gym, but there's no way she's not going to fight over the penthouse...especially now that Clint wants it. She smirks at me knowingly and moves towards the stairwell with an air of challenge around her.

"You can call your dibs all you want...the question is...can you get up there faster than me?" she tells him and one moment she's standing by the doors to the stairwell and the next she's gone, the door wide open.

"Son of a...!" Clint curses and bolts after her. "Catch ya later, Tony!" He calls over his shoulder and flies up the stairs.

Okay, so maybe Fury is right. This _could_ work out...if only Rogers didn't have some major stick shoved up his butthole. What the fuck was that outburst about?! Am I supposed to apologize for wanting a break from the team? For being kidnapped? For being a badass and stopping a war before it started?

I don't know...I really don't know.

And judging by the collectively confused expressions he got when we emerged from the room, the others were just as taken aback as I was. Wanda didn't even beep, no poke at how all-knowing I am or what a gigantic asshole I am...she actually looked at me with this strange...emphatic expression, kinda like the one Vision reserved for me as of late. Shit…I really am seeing things.

I get on the elevator and ride up to eighty-fifth, the floor that once belonged to James and the Soldier.

I went there to clean it up a week ago...but I couldn't do it. They didn't spend much time there, always hanging around the workshop or the common floor, but they still managed to leave their mark in here. Their spare clothes lying about, printed out baking recipes on the nightstand...their scent still conserved on the pillows and the sheets.

I cried myself to sleep in here...and figured I might as well keep doing that until the last small piece of them dissipates from the room.

" _Sergeant Barnes is requesting to speak with you_ ," FRIDAY announces as soon as I leave the elevator.

"Unless it's about accommodation then tell him I'm busy."

" _He wants to apologize_."

Oh...shit. Right...memory loss, dead parents...crap, I almost forgot about that. I was so relieved we had that thing out of the way, even though it happened in the middle of a HYDRA prison. I know that stubborn head of his was feeling guilty anyway, but we talked it through, set the record straight...

How the fuck am I supposed to handle this again?! With _Barnes_!

"Tell him he's got nothing to apologize for."

" _He ain't buying it_ ," she reports after a short pause.

"Then tell him that - "

" _Why don't_ you _tell him, boss, I'm not some kinda middleman of yours_!" She cut me off, offended.

I sigh, collapsing into the nearby sofa. "You're right...sorry, Fry. Send him in."

The elevator opens after few minutes, Barnes walking out with an uncertain expression.

A man gotta be straightforward with this guy, which is why I sit up, clearing my throat to draw his attention. "Listen - "

"Sorry about Steve, he...um..."

We both blurt out at the same time, stopping to stare at each other.

"You're...you're here to _apologize for Steve_?" I ask incredulously.

"Yeah, he's...there's no way to put it gently...he's behaving like an asshole," he explains, fidgeting on the spot.

"Yeah, he is! Send _him_ in here to apologize then. What are you, his whip boy?!" I snap at him, regretting it as soon as he flinches at my harsh tone.

"Uh...no?"

"Then get your shit together and stop being sorry for something you didn't do!"

He looks stunned for a moment, before cringing. "Get my shit together?! The fuck?"

"Yeah, get your...oh..." Is this how's it going to be now? He's gonna show up being all James-like, torturing me with all the different reminders of our previous conversations?! I don't know if I should break into hysterical laughter or tears. "Just...get a grip, alright? You've been back for barely a week and you got yourself to prison already and now you're becoming Captain America's peace ambassador. He's a punk, we both know that. Doesn't mean he gets to send you to make apologies for him, fuck that!"

"He didn't _send_ me," he interrupts me vehemently. "I...," he starts but clearly doesn't know how to continue. "I'm so used to cleaning up his messes that I pretty much do it automatically. Doesn't mean he shouldn't come apologize himself - he should! And I'm sure he _will_. I'm just tryin' to smooth the path I guess?" He smiles inwardly.

I can't do nothing but stare into those eerily familiar eyes, clouded with so many emotions. Guilt being the most prominent one. With confusion at its tail. Him and Pepper would get along great I think…they are both stuck cleaning their best friends’ messes.

"He's a big boy now...like _really_ big...let him handle his messes on his own," I utter, cringing at the still lingering assholish undertone of mine. Rogers was the one who pissed me off, not him for fuck's sake, get a grip, Stark! Can't help but be a bit jealous of their friendship, though. "Okay, fine! Jeez...I'm gonna give him some plus points for you when he finally mans up. You better tell him his apology needs to involve a lot of tearful _I'm sorries_ , gifts and superb breakfasts to the bed...for a month!" I joke, even though I kinda mean it...not the breakfast to bed part but there's gotta be food involved.

Even then…I'm already tempted to not forgive him. Why the hell should I...

Oh yeah, because his best friend is this little punk here, currently giving me some mean puppy eyes.

"That's all I'm askin'. He's not usually like this...but with everything going on lately...I'm kinda to blame for th - "

"Nope. Don't push it, Barnes. You're already apologizing for Mr. Perfect, don't go _blaming_ yourself for the shit he's done now too. Him or HYDRA," I add, hoping this thickheaded bastard would get the message.

His eyes widen slightly, the guilt intensifying.

"I mean it asshole, one more apology or blamefest out of your mouth and I'm so done with you!" I warn...as if I could ever be done with him...but the words seem to get through to him.

"Alright," he lets out, exhaling deeply as if he was holding his breath through our entire convo. "Fine...so...we uh...didn't exactly have the greatest first impressions...not to mention second and third ones...I mean...can we start again with like...'Hi I'm Bucky, can we skip to the first name basis thing?'…cause the only person who ever called me Barnes was our military instructor and he sure as hell didn't make me like the sound of it..." He trails off with a hauntingly hopeful expression.

I roll my eyes and pray the cheeky smile I conjure up manages to let on some sincerity behind it as I offer my left hand to him. "Hi, I'm Tony. You call me Stark one more time and I will throw you off the roof," I say absolutely seriously, watching him twitch his metal hand uncertainly when he realizes I want to shake that one. "Cool metal arm by the way. I might not like it too close to my pretty face but otherwise prepare for me to fangirl over it."

His tense shoulders seem to ease off a bit, a small smile breaking his frowny face. He takes the offered hand then. "Rhodey said you might."

"That lil traitor!" I fake a hurt pout and enjoy the startled chuckle coming from the other man.

"Us Jameses gotta stick together."

I'm not sure if I should be relieved that my best friend gets along with the man I love or be plainly jealous. Maybe a bit of both will do.

Hold on...did I just...shit. Shit shit shit. This isn't James. Not the Soldier either. Bucky is not them, he's _not_...only he _is_.

James was always Bucky. He's had some experiences Bucky never had...which isn't a bad thing in most cases. We've had moments that shaped our relationship that are now gone for good. But the reason I can't shake off the feeling of familiarity around Bucky, the reason I can't make more distinction between the two than their desired name is simple. They are one and the same person.

The Soldier was right. If we managed to find a way towards each other once, we can find it again. It's a wistful thinking of course, but I don't care. I'd rather hope and dream than give up and fall back into the nightmare.

With that thought, full of burning determination, I shake the metal hand, perhaps for a little bit longer than completely appropriate but judging from the tiny smirk that is just _so_ James appearing on Bucky's face, he clearly doesn't mind.

Well then, the mission is a go!


	5. The Crooked Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~I know we're the crooked kind  
> But you're crooked too, boy, and it shows~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I saw it...I finally saw it...let me just...*goes to sit in the corner, hugging the Winter Soldier plushie*
> 
> So, here we go with the new chapter! Jeeeeeeesus, I'm so glad I've got the Civil War done in this fic, I wouldn't be able to do it after actually seeing the movie, holy shit! I loved it...there are some bits that I'm not really sure about...especially in regards to Wanda *squints hard at her* and the out of the blue Sharon *squints harder*. The Pepper thing stinks and Zemo...ohhhhhhh Zemo do I have plans for you in this fic NOW, you asshole! :D Also half an hour into the movie I realized I've accidentally spoiled something for the movie in the last chapter :D So uh...sorry? :D Can't quite believe how that was handled in the movie...a fucking text?! Are you kidding me?! 
> 
> Anyway... :D Too many feels...and I know exactly what to do with them...write the hell out of this story! Steveyoujustwaityoumotherfuckeryoujustwaaaait...*cough cough* Don't judge...this is something you'll be saying by the end of this new chapter here, too *laughs manically* 
> 
> Enjoy the read and thank you all for the feedback! <3 Next chapter might be up this Wednesday :3

**_[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsLccI7_MbA&list=PLk09tmeXpLmCfSOHx3XQIfNkU1QuFE9vW&index=1) _ **

 

**_xxxTonyStarkxxx_ **

"There you are...of course...," Natasha speaks from somewhere behind me and I jerk up, realizing I've been falling asleep on my desk.

"Here I am," I grin, not fooling the ninja at all with my cheery act. "What can I do for you, oh Queen of Spies?"

She comes up to me, stopping just inches away from the chair. "Well...I'd ask what the hell is going on with you and Barnes but I suppose I wouldn't get an answer to that."

"Nope."

"And if I asked what the hell is going on with you and Steve, the answer would be the same, huh?"

"Pretty much. So you're saying he's being a royal jackass just around me? Great. Just great."

"He's...acting strange just with you, yes. He's still all buddy buddy with everyone else, but you seem to be pushing some major button," she muses, taking a step to my left to lean on the table. "If I didn't know any better I'd say that...never mind," she sighs, looking away.

"You'd say that _what_? You can't just start like that and _never mind_ it!" I give her my best offended pout, but it only makes her smirk.

"I'd say that you were having a domestic one...bickering at each other like the old married couple you are...but I've noticed the bickering was awfully one-sided as of late," she narrows her eyes at me pointedly. Of course she would notice.

"Yeah well, you're seeing things. Like seriously, you are seeing some bullshit things right there."

"I guess...it's just...something Pepper said."

"What did Pepper say?" I ask curiously, wondering what Pepper could have told Nat that would lead her to believe that me and Steve are...oh...oh shit...

_‘Oh you are so in love with som – ‘_

No, Pepper, just…no…

"I see you remember...I figured it'd be Steve, since you practically flirted at each other from day one...not to mention he kept inconspicuously turning down my matchmaking efforts...but clearly, I was wrong. Which makes me wonder..."

"Just...leave it alone. Please? There's...it's over anyway," I urge her to dismiss the thing, but by that knowing look she gives me even as she nods, I can tell that if she didn't figure it out a week ago during my break down, she sure as hell figured it out now. She just wasn't sure about the supersoldier...until now.

Damn you and your spy sixth sense, Natasha.

"Anyway," she chimes, leaning over me to switch off my project files.

"Wha...I was working on that!"

"And I'm sure FRIDAY saved it so you can continue later, right Fry?"

" _Of course. Make him go socialize now...please_."

"Yes, ma'am," she indulges the AI and starts dragging me to the elevator. "It's movie marathon time...brace yourself, I bet Clint cheated his way into picking the movies...again."

Oh no. I should have left the traps active...would serve him right.

The elevator dings open and Nat only hangs around for long enough to confirm I'm not going to flee back down to the workshop, then heads for the bar.

It's almost eerie to walk into the common floor to the sounds of talking and laughing. Well, whenever Thor is back from Asgard the team immediately gets ten thousand times noisier. And I did get overly used to the calmness of the Tower these past few months. Now I’m stuck with these guys.

Steve - being the first person I don't even wanna see right now - is easy to avoid. He's got his freaky daily Soldier schedule he follows to the letter so if I move around it I really don't have to see him at all. I thought the same would go for Jam...for Bucky. I thought he'd just follow his bff around all day long but nope. While he spends most of his time with him, he divides his spare time into unpredictable activities.

He's trying to make friends with the rest of the team, joining them during meals and movies, sparing in the gym or just chitchatting in the living room. I naively thought I could avoid him during early morning time, but according to Fry he keeps weirder hours than me.

Shit.

We haven't spoken much since the day of Peggy's funeral, but just watching him interact with others is pretty much some kind of Hydra torture for real. I knew he'd remind me of James and the Soldier...I just didn't know how much. He is...a louder, more outgoing version of him. The things he says, the way he reacts to things...I all but flee the room every time, because I've made the mistake of staying once, which resulted in both Natasha and Vision giving me these pitiful looks I’d rather not be receiving from them.

The team made their collective apology, concerning the whole kidnapping business...well, the entire team but Steve, who instead decided to shout obscenities at me and never showed up later to make amends, as Bucky thought he would. He did utter something that sounded like an _I’m sorry_ during dinner couple of days ago, but I still think I might have imagined it…that’s how brief a moment it was. So fuck him and the team better be devising some major bribing plan to get back on my good side, I sure as hell won't make it _that_ easy on them. And Bucky...

"Morning, Tones!" Rhodey exclaims, ambushing me by the elevator, all but dragging me further into the living room. "Right on time for the Hunger Games marathon!"

"What?! Fuck no! Did you seriously let Clint choose movies again?!" I stare accusingly at _Katniss_ , folding my arms defensively on my chest.

"The Eye of the Hawk has won the grand tournament of Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Thor booms from the couch he's sharing with Steve and Bucky.

"Hey Tony!" Steve waves at me with a content smile. What the _actual_ fuck? What kinda fucked up 360 mood is _this_?! Did someone wipe his brain clear or is he just pointedly trying to ignore how shitty he's been treating me?! What the fuck is wrong with him?!

"Yeah, I won fair and square!" Clint nods from the bar stool.

Judging by Nat's stink squint he most definitely cheated. I don't know how, but he must have.

"Keep telling yourself that, Bird Brain. I'll just grab some coffee, ain't watching this shit again. Definitely not the _Where's Peeta_ part one and two."

"Oh come oooon, Tones! It's a team bonding exercise! We can shit on the movie together, that oughta raise the morale!" Rhodey - the newest traitor - argues, derailing me from my way to the kitchen and instead seating me down on the armchair right next to the sofa. And next to Steve.

"It's going to make us argue as soon as we get to the bad parts. _This_ fangirl here will defend it to the ends of the earth," Natasha comments monotonously from behind the bar, casually pouring something into Clint's drink.

I don't even wanna know...but God bless this woman. She's been a bit down lately as well...Bruce's continuous absence being the main reason...so it's good to see her in a playful mood. And by playful I mean murderously dangerous. Good old Nat.

"I'm not a fangirl! I just...like the movies, okay?!" Clint pouts, muttering something about cool explosive arrows and a mocking jay outfit. I really don't even wanna know.

But at least he's distracting me from the burning gaze of Captain Hard-ass now sitting just a feet to my left.

"Popcorn?" Bucky's voice startles me enough to almost flail the offered bowl away. I trace the long sleeved arm to its source and see the man it belongs to is casually leaning over Steve - who is absolutely not amused by the way - just so I can reach the obnoxiously large bowl of popcorn. Well...when Thor digs into it, it won't even last till the actual Hunger games.

I grab a handful of the treat and not trusting my voice to even say thanks to him I just nod. He nods back and with a single raised eyebrow at Steve he makes himself comfortable in the cushions again.

I munch on the popcorn, ignoring both the glare Steve keeps sending me and the painful sting of familiarity in regards to Bucky. He's behaving more and more like James and I can't deal with that. Mostly because it makes me wanna joke...even flirt around with him just like before. Until my brain caches up with the reality and the fact that no matter how familiar Bucky is…feels…he’s not the man that…fell in love with me.

Jeez, Tony…so much for feeling hopeful.

So I try my best to focus on the gradually declining quality of Clint's favorite movie series instead of mauling over Steve's more than strange behavior and Bucky, who keeps offering me popcorn whenever I run out. He's being polite, is all...which makes it even worse.

When the last movie hits the dead boredom note, I sneak out of the common room straight into the elevator and up. Some fresh air and sunlight never hurt nobody. Unless I'm turning into a vampire.

"How's it going, FRIDAY?" I inquire as soon as I step onto the warm roof.

" _The blueprints could use some work, boss. If I begin assembling the wings the way you proposed, their defensive ability will likely increase, but I'm not sure if Mister Wilson will be able to take off with the added weight._ "

"Well, he could lose a few pounds..."

" _And by few you mean thirty_?"

"Okay! Fine! Scrap the secondary defense options. I'll think of something else."

" _As you wish. Oh and Dummy is demanding you taste his newest hot chocolate recipe_."

"Oh for fuck's sake...how does it look this time?" I ask cautiously, remembering the...alive and probably sentient dark matter the bot brewed two days ago.

" _It...looks like hot chocolate. But knowing the ingredients he used to make the drink, I wouldn't drink it unless you want to spend the good part of the evening by the toilet, boss_."

"Thought so...thanks, Fry."

" _I've got your back, boss_."

"Know you do. Now, get them wings assembled and let me relax in here for a while. Radio silence, my girl!"

" _Got it_."

I sprawl on the nearest sun bed with a deep exhale, trying to stop my mind from all the nauseating spinning. It doesn't behave...being subjected to Katniss and her teenage drama for so long most definitely isn't helping. Not sure if I'm referring to the movies or Clint...who actually fell asleep shortly after the first movie.

Well played, Nat!

"There you are," a voice startles me from my slowly calming daydreaming and I cringe at the fond...almost loving sound of it. And what the hell, is it ‘there you are, Stark’ day?! How does everybody know where I am?!

"The fuck is your problem, Rogers?!" I lash out, throwing the last ounce of Zen off the roof.

He flinches at the harshness of my tone but it still isn't enough to stop him from approaching me, small frown creasing his youngish face. "I...don't have any? Why are _you_ so defensive lately?"

I gape at the man, resisting the urge to pinch myself awake. Am I drunk? Or worse?!

"I said I'm sorry," he sighs, shoulders slumping.

"Yeah well, it's time to be a big boy now, Rogers. Sometimes _I'm sorry_ just doesn't cut it! Especially after you scream at the person you're apologizing to!"

"I was angry!"

"You don't say! I could tell... by all the _shouting_!"

"I was angry and scared, Tony! Don't you get it?! I'm sorry I didn't notice anything was wrong...its unforgivable, you're right! But you should have told us, you should have told _me_! I would have protected you!"

"I didn't need your protection! I still don't, in fact!" I spit, running out of patience, so I get up, ready to storm out of the roof somewhere this joke of a man won't be able to get to me.

He grabs my arm as soon as I move around him and holds on...tight. "Can't we just go back to how it was before? Forget all this business?" He asks in a pleading tone, his palm digging painfully into my forearm.

I stare at him blankly, waiting for the hidden camera to appear around the corner. There's no such luck, meaning he's serious. He's fucking _serious_!

"You're insane!" I shout at his face and try to break free from his oppressive hold, but he only pulls me closer and...kisses me. _Kisses_. _Me_.

If I felt like I've fallen inside some freak alternate dimension lately then I'm almost hundred percent sure of it now.

I squirm in the forced embrace he envelops me in but how the fuck do I even begin to compare strength with a supersoldier?! The answer is simple - I don't. I _can't_. Not without the suit. The realization almost makes me panic. Until I remember aunt Peggy and her kid guide to bully self-defense she made sure to teach me.

" _If you can't fight strength with strength, then you gotta fight it with brains_ ," she told me and it was singlehandedly the most useful advice I've ever gotten. She wouldn't believe who I'm using it against now, that's for sure.

I bite Steve hard enough to make him flinch away, knee him in the toolset for good measure and make a run for it, not stopping until I'm safely in the workshop making sure FRIDAY won't let Steve inside...ever.

"What the fuck just happened?!" I mutter to myself, sitting down on the sofa in the furthest side of the workshop, covering my booming chest with a shaky hand.

I can't do anything for the longest time, just trying to get my breathing under control. DUM-E rolls up to me at some point, clutching onto the highly dangerous mug of hot chocolate I'm almost tempted to try out.

I don't know what it is yet, but something is fucking wrong with Steve. And I'm not sure _I_ wanna find out what it is exactly...

 

 

 


	6. I stand, you move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early morning meetings is apparently their thing. Not that Bucky would remember that. But Tony does. 
> 
> Enter wild Steve out of nowhere and a quiet morning will turn into something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! ^^ So...um...I promised an update, so here it is! I'm...not even ahead, so you pray to the old gods and the new that I somehow manage to get the next chapter written until Sunday :D I'll write my ass off ;D ...it's getting to the good parts (if I do say so myself XD) so that's a motivation enough...along with the constant threat of your bounty hunters :'D 
> 
> There's a piece of sh...piece of "art" of my own making - a product of my usual boredom at work - featured in this chapter...just a lil' something to bring the scene alive...with my five-year old drawing skills ;D
> 
> Thank you all for the comments, kudos and bookmarks, I'd offer some cookies but Dummy burnt the last batch...you probably wouldn't wanna eat those anyway :D I know you are all anxious to find out what the heck is wrong with Steve...and so am I :D Instead, enjoy a little bit of Tony/Bucky/metal gang madness...angst...and a little, tiny sprinkle of fluff? <3 
> 
> Chapter title and ending kinda inspired by the wonderful last song on the playlist - I stand. As much as Eurovision's a joke to us Europeans, every now and then there are songs that just hit the spot...and this one hit my WinterIron feels :'D

**_[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88-JnKG5L1A&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmBxcz2t4hg9gexXq6ye9M8M) _ **

 

**_xxxBuckyBarnesxxx_ **

It's been the same for a while. I'd go to sleep around ten at night only to wake up a couple hours later, covered in cold sweat. I wouldn’t remember what I dreamt about, but the way it makes me feel afterwards tells me it wasn't anything good.

The strangest kind of anxiety settles inside my gut every time and I can never go back to sleep afterwards. I try...I try to settle back into the comfy cushions of my bed, close my eyes and relax enough to doze off...but that feeling just doesn't disappear. It eats away at my subconscious making my head spin with wild images and feelings I can't quite put into context.

So I usually leave the empty, unfamiliar room and wander around the Tower, my favorite place being the roof. It's a tall building alright...I like the view, the busy buzz of the city in the background and the gentle breeze, soothing my racing head. It's not like I need a lot of sleep, kinda like Stevie. I could join in his early morning run or Sam's later morning run but...I don't really want to be around anyone until the oppressive feeling tones down with the first rays of sunlight.

Tonight is different. I realize that immediately after I wake up with a desperate scream, calling for...someone or something out of pure instinct.

"Jarvis?!"

It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, recognizing the silhouettes of the furniture, the lazily discarded pile of clothes on the floor next to the bathroom door and the small cones of street or maybe even moon light entering through the blinds.

I can't will my racing heart to stop, the visions of the dream still vivid in my memory. I feel my breath hitching painfully in my chest, each breath harder and harder to take. It's the panic taking over...and for some reason calling for this...Jarvis...felt like the right thing to do. It almost makes me want to lose control and let the panic wreak havoc in my body because it feels like I no longer control it, my body, my mind, my memories...everything's a mess.

I stumble on my feet, barging through the door straight for the elevator, leaning against its cool walls, enjoying the subtle flutter in my stomach as it moves. As soon as it stops I walk out, expecting the nightly breeze to comb through my untamed hair and soothe my raging nerves.

Instead of nightly breeze I'm brought back to the Earth by the sound of loud music and equally loud bangs of metal against metal.

I'd flinch at the unexpected sight of the huge room full of machinery instead of the open space of the roof I was looking for, but once again my body fails to obey my thoughts. In fact, the panic that was still on the rise just seconds ago is gone. Completely.

Even as a weird moving metal stick makes its way up to me, my body refuses to be even close to alarmed. If anything, it relaxes even more.

The metal stick starts beeping frantically, barely audible over the drum heavy music I must admit I kinda like.

"Uh...hi?" I tell the stick and it beeps happily.

"The hell, Dummy?!" Comes an irritated voice and the music cuts off. "What do you mean there's - oh."

The voice belongs to the one and only Tony Stark. The man emerges from around a huge piece of metal plates and wires with a hammer in one hand, the other holding up his protective helmet. He stands frozen on the spot, staring at me with wide eyes.

"Um...sorry I'm...I'm not sure how I got in here..." I start, keeping a nervous eye pinned on the still beeping thing Stark... _Tony_...called Dummy.

With a rapid head shake, Tony recovers. "My guess would be the elevator," he retorts, pointing at the now closed doors behind me.

Looking around the spacious room, I find that the elevator doors are pretty much the only entrance and exit.

"Unless you've taken a page out of Bird brain's book of sneaking through vents," he adds with eyes narrowed at the ceiling.

"No I...I was heading onto the roof..."

He gives me an unimpressed look, folding his arms defensively. "The roof is the top button...because it's on the top of the building."

"Uh...yeah."

"My workshop is in the basement...so that's the last button all the way dooooown the line," he squints suspiciously.

Right...basement...last button...I can blame this on the panic, but it's not like I can tell him that. "Right...sorry."

"Stop saying that!" His squint transforms into a frown. "You pushed the wrong button, big deal."

Only I didn't push the wrong button...it doesn't feel like I did. Dummy keeps prodding my side with his arm so I pet it, as if he was a dog, and he beeps in what's sounds like happiness, the arm...head...claw...thing leaning into the touch.

"This one's clingy," I comment, subtly changing the subject.

"You have _no_ idea. Dummy! You've got work to do, don't you? Cuddling time is over!" Tony orders and Dummy wheels off to the back of the workshop with a long, disappointed beep. "Two rules, don't let him fiddle with your arm and don't eat anything he brings you, it's most definitely inedible...or highly dangerous. Otherwise he's harmless."

" _Don't forget the fire extinguisher thing, boss_ ," FRIDAY mentions from somewhere above, sounding amused.

"Okay, so maybe not completely harmless. Think of him as a big metal puppy."

I chuckle at the thought because it seems so fitting. "Awesome!" I blurt out before I can stop myself, but Tony's so far careful, tired expression breaks into a smile. And not that usual grin thing he seems to be so fond of but an actual sincere smile. I could bid the engineer a goodnight and go back to my room now that the panic is just a tingling remnant at the back of my head but I'm afraid it might just return and bring that nerve wrecking anxiety with it. Or the nightmares. So I decide to push my luck here and hang around for a while. "Whatcha working on over there?" I ask innocently, pointing at the monstrosity Tony was working on before interrupted.

"Ah, that? It's a power generator circuit for the helicarrier. I swear to God Fury can't drive for shit! He keeps either destroying the whole thing or frying the engines. I should stop making him nice things!" He pouts so adorably even Steve couldn't overpower it with his own.

Tony behaves like an overexcited kid sometimes. It suits him, because at least he's not plastering those fake press smiles on his pretty face - his words not mine. Not that I'm disputing the statement...I’d just use _handsome_ instead. Steve always knew how to pick them.

"You should prank him, so he learns his lesson," I suggest with a mischievous wink, earning an equally mischievous smirk.

"Hell yeah! So...what are you thinking, Mr. Pranks?" He says, looking absolutely serious...nope...excited to indeed prank Fury.

"Ever heard of a stinky Ivan?" I wriggle my eyebrows, leaning against a nearby workstation.

"That some anti-commuist propaganda?"

"Uh, no...but it could be an anti-Fury one," I offer innocently and Tony nods.

"Alright, hit me...with the idea not...literally..."

I chuckle, explaining to Tony what stinky Ivan is all about. It's only many minutes later that I realize I'm at ease, the nightmare and the panic all but forgotten.

Tony seems to have that effect on me...combined with this strangely familiar room it makes me feel...content. For the first time since I've woken up in that warehouse. I can't explain it, really...but something draws me to Tony. Just like something drew me to the workshop after the nightmare. An invisible force moving my body as it pleases.

If I've learnt anything since waking up, it's that I should trust my instincts. Because so far they haven't betrayed me. And everything I do around the engineer I seem to do out of this unexplainable, urgent instinct that demands me to act...to talk to him, be around him...protect him. And right now the instinct decided that being here in the workshop with Tony was the best way to calm down. Hell, the best way to spend the night. Or early morning, actually. It still confuses me, but at the same time I'm comforted by it.

 

###

 

An hour of scheming later the ultimate plan to prank Fury without blasting another helicarrier off the sky is born. Tony is outlining it through the uh...holographic bluish thingie appearing all over the place, while Dummy - joined by another two bots called YOU and Butterfingers - keep excitedly moving around me, nudging at me, demanding to be noticed and given attention to.

It's amusing...although distracting. It almost makes me miss a very...fond...expression on Tony's face as he stares at us. The word _smitten_ comes to mind...because I'm stupid and keep seeing things. That's ridiculous.

"Looks good to me," Tony states looking at the elaborate plan.

"Yeah, lookin' good," I agree, not able to subdue the flirty undertone of it. "Uh...FRIDAY? Save that as operation Fast and Furious, would you please?" I ask the awesome AI, making Tony snap his head up.

"Wha - uh," he stutters, shaking his head as if trying to wake up from a dream. An unpleasant one at that. "I mean...you only spent four days at the HQ and already let Bird brain 2.0 choose movies for you to watch?!"

Oh. "If you mean _Sam_ then yes, he chose the movie and it was a good movie. Good couple of movies, in fact," I raise my eyebrows at him, daring him to disagree. Okay...so I might be exaggerating about how good it was...I like the cars though!

"You just like the cars," he snorts and shoos the bots out of the way, barking orders as they go.

"What can I say, me and engines are love at first sight," I chuckle leaning against the workstation, catching something shiny out the corner of my eyes.

At the back of the workshop is a wooden desk, a dirty cup of most likely coffee standing on it next to a Dummy looking lamp and on the wall above it is a strange piece of...art? Craft? There's a metallic circle in the middle, glowing orange, the light bending on the glittery surface of the whole thing. On the top is a worn out sign saying "Jarvis is my co-pilot" and at the bottom is a scribbled note: the metal gang remembers.

Jarvis. That's...that's who I called for!

"Dummy demands you read him a bedtime story...I’m seriously gonna have to look into his core protocols, this is bordering with - "

"Who's Jarvis?" I interrupt him rudely, but I need answers.

There's no reply though, so I tear my eyes off of the sign and look at Tony. He's staring at the thing too, that heartbroken look that flickered briefly on his face when we first met is back there now in full intensity.

"Tony?"

He snaps back from whatever reverie he was in, face falling blank again. "He's uh...Fry?" He prompts his ever-present AI lady, voice cracking uncharacteristically.

" _JARVIS was my predecessor, Sergeant Barnes. He was almost destroyed during the Ultron incident and in the end became a core part during the creation of the Vision_ ," she explains solemnly.

"Oh...I see. So he's...he's Vision now?"

" _Partially, yes. Vision would of course tell you he is neither JARVIS or Ultron but simply himself, but he often acts like JARVIS nonetheless_."

I didn't know that. Did Vision tell me this? We haven't really talked with each other that much...before the whole civil war thing or after. He must have mentioned it though...how else would I know this...Jarvis? And why the hell would I call for him after the nightmare?!

Knowing he used to be an AI just like FRIDAY explains why I'd feel the need to do it. If I ever need anything, FRIDAY would be the first person…well... _being_ I’d ask. But I didn't know that about Jarvis. I didn't even know the name before! So if anything, I should have called for Fry.

I put my palms against my face, the coolness of the metal one seeping comfortingly into it. Fuck...I can't trust my own brain anymore. Instincts and all that are nice but...the things my mind keeps conjuring are disturbing at best. Mostly because they're not just a figment of my wild imagination.

I dreamt of the Tower tonight. I was running through the dark, empty corridors looking for something, or someone. But I couldn't find it and the more empty rooms I ran into the more terrified I felt. Until right before the dream ended, when I entered one of the common floors...it was destroyed, everything was shattered and thrown all over the floor...and then there was the body.

Unmoving...bloodied...unrecognizable, as if someone beat it to death with a baseball bat.

Or a metal arm.

I woke up after bringing my hands up, seeing they are in fact covered in blood, fresh drops of it trailing down my forearms.

I shudder just at the memory of the dream. That's what it was...just a dream, nothing more. But knowing who the Winter Soldier was...HYDRA's deadliest weapon...I'm starting to realize it might just as well be real.

"You okay? Bucky? Hey! James!"

Tony's alarmed voice makes me drop my hands and look at him, his eyes wide with concern.

"No...no I'm not okay," I blurt out. "I think...I think I'm losing my fucking mind," I chuckle desperately, watching those warm, hazel eyes soften.

"I know a thing or two about that," he confesses, as if trying to make me more comfortable opening up. And it's working. "Why do you feel like that?"

"Sometimes...sometimes I feel like a puppet. Like something takes control of my body and makes me do things...feel things that I normally wouldn't. I'm having the weirdest kinda dreams that I don't understand...they feel so real, as if they weren't just dreams but bits of lost memories I can't connect to reality anymore," I try explaining even though it sounds all confused to my own ears. "I didn't push the wrong button...earlier tonight? I wanted to go to the roof and ended down here instead...but it _felt_ right. I can't explain it...I can't tell you _why_ I entered the workshop and instantly felt at ease...but I _did_. And it screws with my mind," I trail off into a whisper, trying to not break into _whimpers_.

I can't look at the other man, afraid to see the pity, the frowns of confusion, the contempt. I couldn't bear Tony looking at me like that...another thing that I can't explain...

"After the shit you've been through, it's a fucking miracle you are still this sane," he says carefully, moving towards the Jarvis memorial. "Being subjected to Wanda's mind fucking wasn't fun...but the things HYDRA was capable of... _is_ capable of..."

I dare look up, surprised to see Tony's burning expression has none of the pity and confusion I’d expect. He's looking at the memorial with something I can only describe as _longing_. It makes me realize just how little I know about him.

"I've read the file," I admit. "The Winter Soldier file? Steve told me not to...but I thought that maybe if I knew what they did to me, it would somehow click in my head and this whole mess would end. It didn't work...but I'm still glad I read it."

Tony lets out a humorless chuckle. "At least you've got a good excuse for being fucked up...I don't."

Well shit…

" _If you ever feel unstable or out of place, just know you're in a good company. Everyone here is dealing with some kinda demon...so don't worry about not fitting in_."

That’s what Natasha told me…after beating the shit out of me in the gym the other day. I did a lot of reading after that on the uh...internet? About the Avengers...the things they've been through. Natasha was right. They all have something that's keeping them awake at night.

It's like five in the morning, clearly something's keeping Tony awake too. Maybe Afghanistan, one of the leaked shield files I probably shouldn't have read. Or the Ultron thing...whatever it is, I can feel the strange urge to protect and comfort stir within me again. I can't go ten fucking minutes without doing or feeling something unfamiliar...which would be a lie, because it feels familiar enough to cross the few steps between us, placing a hopefully comfortable hand on his shoulder. The metal one of course, because I know he's got a thing for it.

Fuck, Bucky, you are so done for.

He startles at the touch, but doesn't tense or move away...if anything, he leans into it.

"Your excuse for being fucked up right now is the fact it's 5 AM, your coffee cup is empty," I nod at the huge mug with a ' _I'm with Dumb and Dummy'_ writing on it, "and I bet you haven't eaten in forever."

" _Eighteen hours to be exact...and that's if I count the cookie Dummy made that boss has risked eating_ ," FRIDAY pitches in right on time to support my cause.

"See...I'd say your excuse is most definitely valid," I smirk at him while he rolls his eyes, groaning.

"You two...seriously...," he shakes his head.

"You, me, eggs, bacon and some toast, now," I order, sliding my hand to his back and nudging him towards the elevator.

"Kinky...let's do it," he returns the wicked smile right back to me and winks playfully.

Oh Steve...ya lucky bastard.

Once were in the elevator Tony moves to push the common floor button, but I stop him with a gentle shove. "It's about time for Steve's morning run...if he sees I'm awake he's going to fuss and go all disappointed Captain America on me...so if we could evade the common floor I’d be grateful."

Tony runs a hand over his face with an over exaggerated groan and pushes the eighty-fifth instead. "Yeah uh...let's not go there then. Almost forgot it's morning run time...," he adds in a whisper I wouldn't be able to catch if my enhanced senses haven't helped out.

"But if you want to go say hi to Stevie or - "

"No!" He cuts in fiercely. "I mean uh...no. I'd rather not deal with Steve right now," he explains, averting his eyes.

"O...kay," I utter thoughtfully. I still don't understand what's going on with the two of them. Because one look at Steve tells me everything...sure, he is being a bit...offensive, but that's how he gets when people he cares about are hurt or in danger. Add the tension of the whole civil war thing...and the HYDRA kidnapping thing...and no wonder they are at odds.

It's Tony, really, who doesn't yet fit into my equations. He doesn't look mad, or offended...which is what I'd expect...instead he's...defensive. Like he's afraid. Of Steve. _Steve_! The big teddy bear _Steve_! That's just...weird. Sure, some punches were thrown, but from what Rhodey told me it wasn't the first time, so that's not it...besides I tried fighting him too and he's not bothered by me at all.

Ugh...relationships are so complicated...why'd I think Steve would go the easy way is beyond me, of course he wouldn't...

I move towards the coffee maker and start it up, pulling the coffee beans from the top left cupboard, spilling some into the grinder. I hear Tony gasp in...surprise? But when I turn to look at him, he's already digging into the fridge, in search for the desired breakfast ingredients.

We spend the cooking in silence. A strangely comfortable one. He fries the eggs and bacon - making a proper mess of the eggs, but I ain't gonna complain about food - while I take care of the toasts and coffee.

It's only after I catch him giving me one too many strange looks that I realize I'm smiling...and humming. Fucking _humming_! Because...because apparently making breakfast with Tony at ungodly hours of the morning is something I feel like humming and smiling about.

Of course Steve would choose this very moment to appear out of thin air by the kitchen counter.

"What's going on here?" He asks casually, but I don't miss the accusing undertone. Or the visible flinch from Tony, who freezes mid bacon flip.

"Uh...good morning to you too, grumpy," I say teasingly. "We're making breakfast."

Steve narrows his eyes at me and leans against the table. "Yes, I can see that. The common room not big enough for you?"

"Eighty-fifth has a better view," Tony replies, his mask back on as if he was ready to battle a throng of journalists, not just Steve.

"Can we have a moment?" He asks me, motioning between Tony and himself.

That's as subtle as ' _leave us the fuck alone right now_ ' will ever get. Jeez, this guy got jealous over the years. "Yeah, sure. Just leave some of them eggs to me, I'm starving," I wink at my best friend and move to leave.

Only I _can't_. A staggering force is keeping me right where I am. I have to look to my left to realize it's Tony, gripping my metal arm with enough strength to make his fingers white as a sheet. I can't feel the pressure, but if it was my flesh arm I can imagine it'd bruise instantly.

When I look at him questioningly, our eyes meeting, he jumps back slightly, letting go of my hand. That's not what strikes me though...it's that look again. That brief flicker of fear in those usually sparkling, mischievous eyes. Not directed at me, but at _Steve_.

Giving my best friend a brief glance, I can almost understand why. The way Steve glares at Tony right now is nowhere near friendly. Again, I don't know what's going on between these two, but I know one thing - I don't like that look on Steve's face. I've seen it far too many times before and during the war...usually plastered on the faces of Steve's bullies as they were cornering him into a dark alley.

Only it's on Steve's face now and the one being cornered is Tony.

 _Unacceptable_.

The engineer clears his throat, ready to say something, but I come in before he can manage to get a single syllable out. "Actually, I'm not the only one starving, because _someone_ here forgets to eat regularly so...why don't you go for that morning run of yours and let us finish breakfast, hm? You'll have all the time in the world then and nobody's stomach will be grumbling loud enough to wake the entire Brooklyn," I offer with a smile, but there's a threat behind it and I make sure he notices. That and the subtle step forward bringing me somewhat between him and Tony.

Daring.

Steve frowns uncertainly, eyes snapping from Tony to me with enough confusion to rival my own. "S...sure. Yeah, that'll work. I'll uh...see you later," he fakes a smile and with a last calculating glance between me and Tony he backs away from the kitchen.

I wait for the ding of the elevator, sounding Steve’s departure, before letting out the breath I've been holding the entire time.

Did I...did I just give Steve the _back the fuck off_ treatment? What the actual hell is going on here?!

I doubt I'll be able to get any answers from Tony and seconds later my suspicion is confirmed when a blur of black and navy blue swooshes around me with a rushed out "I'll be in the workshop..." soon followed by a second ding, marking Tony's quick retreat.

I stare at the exit for a long time, only brought back to reality by the smell of burning bacon. I throw the food out and put the dishes to the sink absently...what the fuck have I just witnessed?!

After the outburst incident last week, I did some research alright. I asked the others about Steve and Tony so I could get to the bottom of the problem here and I got pretty much the same answer. Clint said it's just mom and dad fighting again, nothing new. Sam told me I should send them off to marital counseling, Wanda just scoffed and walked away and Rhodey just rolled his eyes muttering something about oblivious idiots being oblivious.

Sounded pretty straightforward to me. They will be at each other's hair for a while but then they're gonna talk it out and make up. That's how old-married couples work. It's Natasha and Vision whose reaction to my subtle interrogation is now starting to make sense.

Natasha simply said Steve is acting weird and Vision admitted he expected _Tony_ to be the shouting party of the argument, not Steve.

There's obviously more to this. If Tony didn't want to talk to Steve, he'd just say so. He'd tell him to go to hell or to save it for later...but it wasn't the talking part that made Tony grab my arm to make me stay.

He didn't want to be _left_ _alone_ with Steve.

The realization sends chills down my spine. Tony isn't afraid to talk to Steve. He was being shouted at and while definitely shaken, he came out of the room like he didn't give a fuck about it. Which can only mean one thing...something else happened. Steve must have done something else to make Tony - the Iron fucking Man - afraid to be left alone with him.

Handful of options swim in my head and I don't wanna believe either of them to be true. Because they all make Steve the bully here. Steve hates bullies! I can't imagine how he'd ever become one...but I can't think of anything else right now.

I don't see Steve for the rest of the day and when I try to head down to the workshop in the afternoon FRIDAY tells me: " _The boss is busy and doesn't want to be disturbed_ ". So I respect that...but it doesn't stop me from sending down a handful of Chinese everyone ordered in for lunch, hoping he'll at least eat that since breakfast was a bust.

The dream changes tonight. I'm no longer the one with blood on their hands. It's Steve. He wants me to move, to let him through to...something…somewhere. I stand taller - as taller as you can stand in face of Captain America - and tell him I won’t move an inch.

And I don’t.

When I wake up, I no longer feel bothered by those strange unfamiliar feelings and urges. Because they suddenly become familiar.

Protect Tony Stark. Gotta protect Tony.

Sounds like a mission. And for reasons I am slowly starting to understand, I can work with that.

 

 


	7. Broken Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's senses are not the only thing that comes back...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings! It's everybody's favorite day of the week again, yay! ^^ And hoooooly mother of god look at this chapter...it's a monster! I could make three chapters out of this one :D ...luckily for you, I didn't :D Hope you'll like it ^^ The next will be up on Sunday next weekend and let me just say...the wait is gonna be worth it. It's the chapter you should be looking for. I'll leave you to your deductions as to why :3 But now, enjoy the read and let me know what you think...ship happens in this here chapter <3 ...and when I say ship...I really mean something else :D
> 
> Thank you all for the amazing feedback! <3

**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqiH0ZSkM9I&list=PLk09tmeXpLmDeEMZ5otVPRhJem2Pso8ml&index=1) **

 

**_xxxTonyStarkxxx_ **

 

" _You are organizing this, Tony. You can't not show up at the event you are organizing_!" Pepper scolds me with her patented bitey tone that makes me put the phone away from my ear.

"Pep, all I've ever been doing was avoiding events I was organizing."

" _Not when the Avengers are involved you haven't. You might have put out that fire with Ross...for now...but the public is still weary. That Hydra attack on the court house both played into your hand and out of it. You know what's worse than a team of dangerous superheroes? A_ divided _team of dangerous superheroes! You need to be there! The public needs to see the team together. Nope, scratch that. They need to see you and_ Steve _togeth_ er!"

"That's just too bad, since there is no me and Steve together. There's just me and Captain America maybe perhaps in the same room kinda together," I retort, hopefully fooling Pepper with the disconcerted tone.

I should stop being hopeful. " _Did the asshole still not apologize?! That's it, I'm coming over! I'm gonna shove my heels down his throat and -_ " she starts listing all the horrible things she's got in store for the Captain and I am once again tempted to see all of them.

But I said I can handle this, so I will. I'm failing terribly so far, but she doesn't need to know that. "Pep! It's fine, relax! We're uh...having a bit of a disagreement over...a misunderstanding."

" _What did you do_?" She asks all business mode again and I would be offended if I didn't know what my track record looks like.

"Nothing! I'm serious, I behaved myself!"

" _So_ he _did something! The son of a b -_ "

"Pepper...he's...he's not worth it. Okay? I'll deal with him...somehow. I'm really glad you've got my back...I don't deserve it. But really, leave this to me. Save your heart the unnecessary blood pressure."

She pauses, huffing in frustration on the other side. " _Fine, okay. Did you get the flowers_?" She masterfully changes the subject.

"Yep, Peggy would have loved them. Thank you...," I trail off awkwardly.

" _I know she meant a lot to you_."

She did. But I know someone she should have meant a whole lot more to, who didn't even fucking bother going to the funeral. As far as I know he wasn't even at the cemetery yet. It's times like these that I'm glad there's no afterlife, because Peggy would fucking cry if she would see this...this...man she fell in love with and never really fell out of right now. This....asshole version of him.

I've been quite successful in completely avoiding him ever since that incident on the roof, banning his ass out of the workshop, recently extending the ban onto my floor and the roof as well.

If Bucky wasn't there that morning, I don't know what would have happened. All I know is I took one look at Rogers and I knew...I just knew it wouldn't be good. He didn't look like a guy ready to bow in shame and apologize. He was ready for a fight and I really don't wanna have no part in that, so unless that changes nothing is gonna be resolved.

It's not like I can tell someone what happened. 'Hey, Rhodey, Steve kinda lost his mind and instead of apologizing he forced me into a one-sided make out session.' Rhodey would kill him. He already wants to. Pepper would break the speed of light and do the same. So would Natasha...only she would do it in some really messed up torturous way that would leave no trace. Vision...is too innocent to really understand the implications...I think. I never know with this guy.

Which leaves Bucky. Who somehow made Steve back off without a fight - as if Steve would ever fight Bucky - but looked mighty confused while doing it. He doesn't understand what's going on and I don't know if he would even if I told him. Because it’s fucking _Steve_! It sounds impossible even to me, let alone to someone who's known the guy since childhood.

I don't think I could bear seeing Bucky laugh it off with a "Come on, it's Steve, that's silly! He wouldn't do that, are you drunk, Tony?"

I wish I was drunk. I haven't had a single drop of alcohol since the day of the funeral. To make sure I'm not going insane, that what I'm seeing is really real.

" _Tony_?" Pepper inquires, probably not for the first time considering her worried tone.

"Yeah, yeah...still here."

" _Good. So, I know I can't force you to go to the gala, but I happen to know someone who can_."

Ah shit! "Did you bribe Natasha into threatening me?! That's a low blow, Pepper, light of my life, why!"

"Tony?" An uncertain voice startles me, almost making me drop the phone to the concrete floor of the roof.

I recognize that voice, but it's impossible! Because...that's...that's...

"I'll uh...call you back, Pep..."

" _Bye, Tony. You better take good care of him, you hear_?" She threatens and hangs up, leaving me to stare at the awkward man standing by the elevator doors.

I wanna hug him...and punch him...or both, so I settle on a simple greeting, not trusting myself to move at all. "Hey Bruce," I squeak out, making his lips quirk.

"Hey Tony," he mirrors and takes a tentative step forward. "Long time no see...?"

"Yeah, no kidding...how've you been?"

"Good...just...good. You know, kept my calm...got a crappy job in Wakanda...been kinda bored lately. You?"

"Same old, same old...well, _older_..."

"Uhuh," he hums in disbelieve, seeing through me as always.

"Wakanda, hm?"

"Yes."

"Cool. So uh...welcome back?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. But...looks like you could use a hand. What in god’s name is happening with the team?"

"What team?"

"Tony…"

"Right, yeah, the team...or the lack of a team...it's uh...long story," I sigh, pocketing my phone and sitting on the sun bed.

"Friday said we've got time," he shrugs and sits down next to me.

I give him the official story...about the Ultron aftermath, about the government, about Bucky and the new Avengers...he listens, nodding every now and then and I can't even describe how much I've missed that. To be able to talk and have someone there, just listening, knowing there's no need for words.

I've missed Bruce. A lot. And I'm not the only one.

"Nat was looking for you," I mention, making the so far unmoving, silent man flinch.

"I know," he sighs.

"She misses you."

"I _know_ ," he repeats in a forced manner and stands up, pacing between the edge of the roof and the seats.

"So...what are you going to do about it?" I prompt him with an impatient gesture, raising my eyebrows at the increasingly nervous man.

"Nothing. There's nothing to be done," he says in resignation.

"Don't give me that crap, Bruce. You can't just ignore this. You can't ignore Nat, that's for sure."

He gives me an unamused glare...as much as someone like Bruce can glare at all.

"What? You can't. And you won't. I owe her...so you better treat her right or I'm gonna make you," I threaten him. "You're my good friend, alright. Science bro and everything but Nat is my friend too. I ain’t gonna take sides here...just get your shit together. Go on a date, break up, make up...whatever, sort it out."

"I will if you will," he dares, matching my raised eyebrow. "Pepper said - "

"Pepper has no idea what she's talking about!" I bark back. "Don't try this reverse shit on me, Banner I ain’t playing this time around. I'll handle my shit you handle yours! And as it happens, you will have the most perfect opportunity tonight at the gala. Wear a tie, buy some flowers or chocolate...or butterfly knives...and sort it out," I repeat urgently.

He sighs but nods. "I will do that...if you attend the gala too."

"Are you bargaining with me?! I told Pep already, I'm not going." Spend the whole night with Steve in one room, even with a crowd of people around...no, just no.

"It's in the Tower, Tony. It's not like you have to travel too far. You're going. Or I'm packing my things and going back to Wakanda."

"I know where you live now, Bruce, can't extort me with this anymore," I pout.

"Wakanda is a big place...good luck. I'm serious, Tony. If you really wanna make this work...us...the team...then you have to be there tonight. Whatever is going on with you and Steve, ignore it. I can't believe I'm saying this but...plaster your favorite press face on and suffer through it if you have to...it'll be worth it. I'll be there...the team will be there...were not leaving you alone in this," he promises and it's the most sincere thing I've heard in a long time.

If only Bruce knew it's not leaving me alone in the situation that's scaring the shit out of me...but leaving me alone with _Steve_. Well...there are over a hundred guests invited to the event...chances are _alone_ is not going to be on the menu tonight.

"Alright! Fine...but remember this is a deal. You and Nat better be on some terms by tonight!" I warn him and he smiles.

"Deal. Now, is my floor still _my_ floor or have you rented it out?" He asks, making me chuckle.

"I've missed you Bruce."

We exchange a brief hug and then I instruct FRIDAY to take Bruce to his favorite, twenty third floor. I'd stay and chat with him some more, but I've got somewhere to be. Not to mention I'll have to go pay Paolo a visit and get some fancy suit for tonight after all.

First things first...my prison date with Rumlow. I take the armor for a spin, heading for the newest SHIELD built prison complex. It's not fancy, but it's effective.

"Stark," Fury greets me once I'm out of the armor. "You've got ten minutes."

"Are you gonna stand here counting seconds, Nickie? How sweet," I mock him, following him into the holding cells wing.

"You are lucky I'm allowing you in here so don't push it. He's been interrogated by us already...he's not very talkative."

"Let Nat in on him, he will find his tongue," I suggest.

"That's what I thought! The son of a bitch enjoys suffering apparently. It was a waste of time. Good luck," he gestures at a guarded door, nodding at the agents to let me in.

Rumlow is inside, sitting locked up with in a box made of metal and glass. I helped with the design - it's similar to the Hulk containment unit. Good luck breaking out of this one, Rumlow.

A grin spreads over his face when he spots me. "What do I owe the pleasure, Mister Stark," he sings mockingly.

"What have you done to Steve?" I cut straight to the chase, sitting down on the chair in front of the box.

"Ohhh, something happened to Steve? Why would I know anything about _that_?"

"Because he kicked your ass and then brought down a helicarrier on your face...not on purpose, sure, but I know a sick bastard like you holds a grudge no matter what the circumstances. Humor me, Rumlow. What did you do?"

He keeps his grin up, buy it loses its confident edge. "Why don't _you_ humor me, Stark," he hisses through gritted teeth. "I had my hands full with _you_ and your pet assassin so whatever you think I've done is...unfortunately...not my handy work."

"Madame Hydra's, then. Let me guess, brainwashing? Or you kidnapped him and made an evil clone of his to infiltrate us? Oh wait, you watched Terminator and decided to create a T-1000 evil chip and implanted it into his head."

He actually laughs at that. "Sounds like something HYDRA would do, yeah. _You_ should be HYDRA, Stark. We'd have _so_ much fun together."

"Cut the crap, Rumlow!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Stark."

"It's not like you'd tell me even if you had," I squint at the enemy agent.

"No...and you know that. Yet here you are, asking me anyway."

"I'm reading into your reactions," I squint even harder, surely looking like an idiot.

"Read into _this_ then," he utters, face falling eerily serious. "I don't know what's going on with the mighty Captain and I don't give a fuck. Unless it's something reeeeeally fucked up, in which case I'm reveling in his suffering from afar. Whatever it is, it's got nothing to do with us. Madame Hydra is rather fond of her _old_ Asset, she's got no use for the Captain."

I really wish I'd spot a lie in his statement just then, but I don't. Which means I'm wrong.

As the suspicion grew I figured the reason Steve's the way he is might be more serious then 'hit his head too hard and became all bipolar as a result'. An evil HYDRA plot was the first thing on my mind...what better way is there to tear the Avengers apart than do it from the inside after all.

No matter how I look at it, I don't recognize Steve anymore. It can't be him. I know he can be overbearing at times, he’s self-righteous as fuck and what he says and does sometimes makes me wanna punch him in his perfect teeth...long story short, even Steve the saint can be an asshole. But he crossed the asshole line long ago. That forced kiss, the glares, the offstandish almost jealous behavior, that's not Steve. Him not going to Peggy's funeral now _that's_ not Steve! That was a major red light right there.

That's some out of the blue bullshit. Not Steve. It can't be Steve.

I'll keep telling myself that until my short list of options is debunked because I refuse to believe a guy can do such a turn around in a span of two years without someone having their dirty hands in it.

Rumlow breaks into that grin again and leans towards me. "So the question is...if something's wrong with your Captain and we have nothing to do with it...who does?" He asks as if reading my thoughts.

That's a really fucking good question. Not that I'm gonna  indulge Rumlow by telling him that. No. I turn around and leave the cell, Rumlow's leering "See you soon, Stark!" ringing in my ears for the rest of the journey back to New York.

Please let me be right. Please don't be Steve.

 

**xxxBuckyBarnesxxx**

 

"Hot damn, Bucky Barnes!" Sam mandrops on me from around the corner, smelling of fancy cologne, dressed in an equally fancy suit. "Did you cut your hair?!"

"Yeah?"

"Well daaaaayum! You lookin' good...why are you looking' so good!" He suddenly snaps in all seriousness. "Is there a lady in your sights, huh?" He smiles but it immediately transforms into a glare. "Better not be Natasha, man, you stay away...I'm making my moves tonight!"

"You were making your moves last night, too," I remind him, grinning at the memory of Sam's scrunched up face as it was being crushed in Natasha's deadly thighs grip. "Doesn't seem to be working."

"Hey now, that's how we flirt, alright?"

"Eh...no, Sam. That's _not_ how she flirts, that's how she's telling you to fuck off," I inform him truthfully, but he looks even more determined.

"We'll see, metal hand. You and your no longer homeless lookin' ass better stay out of it!"

I'm not planning any moves on Natasha, no. But Sam doesn't need to know that. "Oh, will I though?"

"Don't you dare, trash can!"

"We'll have a drink or two..."

"Don't you fucking dare!"

"And then, who knows what happens..."

He glares fiercely at me, then turns on his heels and walks off into the common floor where the charity gala is taking place. "I hate you," he mumbles over his shoulder.

"Likewise!" I call after him, also slowly making my way into the festively decorated floor. Gentle jazz music is playing in the background, barely audible through the chatter of the present guests.

It's an annual thing, if I understood Rhodey correctly, meant to raise money for charity while allowing the public to spend a cordial evening with the Avengers. Looking around the room I can tell everyone is at their best behavior and in their best suit or dress. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, since I'm not exactly an Avenger and nobody seems to be recognizing me. All things considered, that’s a good thing.

Ex brainwashed assassins are no fun at parties. But...Bucky Barnes _is_ fun at parties! So, grabbing a glass of champagne from a waiter passing by, I move to the window where I can quietly observe both the inside and the balcony without looking like a creeper.

Sam is standing by the bar with Clint, sending murder glares at Bruce Banner - the Hulk. The recently returned superhero is sitting with Natasha by the coffee table, conversing in hushed whispers, pretty much ignoring the party. And Sam.

Vision and Wanda are surprisingly together at the balcony, chatting with a couple of posh lookin' dudes while Thor is in the middle of the crowd with his dame - Jane Foster - both being the center of attention. It's _Thor_...wouldn't expect anything else.

Speaking of center of attention, my eyes pin on the second unlikely couple - Steve and Tony. I can understand now...why would everyone be fooled by them being on good terms, because that's exactly what it looks like right now. Side by side, all smiles and laughs...as if nothing happened.

It's scary. Because that is by far the fakest mask plastered on Tony's face I've seen. And knowing what's underneath it scares me...it should scare everyone, but I'm just now beginning to realize how good Tony is at this act. Nobody is going to notice, because there is nothing to notice. Not unless he lets the mask slip.

Tony spent the entire week in his workshop - another thing everyone told me is completely normal. I stopped listening to what everyone tells me, because the more I know the more like bullshit it sounds. I'm sure he spent his time working, but that's not why he really stayed there.

It's the only place he can feel safe.

There's only one way to get in there - the elevator. And if FRIDAY doesn't open the doors for you, you're just not getting inside. That makes it the safest place in the Tower, in his eyes definitely.

But I can only make this deduction because I know why he'd feel unsafe in the first place. Because I saw it...I saw the mask slip, letting the fear rise to the surface.

I don't know if I've always been good at stealthy observations or if it's some kinda Winter Soldier remnant thing, but I keep my eyes on the two without drawing any unwanted attention. A couple of people stop by me to say hi, some visibly suspicious while others charmed instead. We exchange a few polite sentences and I get back to my watch.

Because it's not long before the mask starts cracking. All it takes is Steve taking two glasses of champagne and offering one to Tony casually. A scene that doesn't look strange in any way, just a guy offering another guy a drink.

Tony doesn't take it. He waves Steve's offering hand away, his damaged grin coming back full force and focusing on the elderly couple speaking to them instead.

I've been here for barely a month and even I know that Tony doesn't like being handed things. Unless it's from people he trusts, like Rhodey or the mysterious Miss Potts. And for some reason, me as well.

Steve's not on the list.

I frown at the two, as if narrowing my eyes and piercing them with the best calculating stare I can manage would answer all my questions. Not knowing those answers is killing me. Because they are about my best friend since a century ago and...and Tony, who somehow ended up in the same category of my concern.

Before I can reach some kinda conclusion though I'm interrupted by a shy: "Hi."

Standing next to me is Bruce Banner, an awkward smile twisting his mouth, his eyes fixed on Tony and Steve just as mine were a second ago.

"Your best friend and mine are awfully rude, forgetting to introduce us," he turns to me, extending a hand. "Bruce Banner."

"Bucky Barnes. It's a pleasure, doctor Banner," I shake his hand with a smile.

"Just Bruce," he adds, his smile losing some of the awkwardness.

"Alright, Bucky then...Bruce and Bucky, sounds cool," I chuckle, startling a laugh from the older man.

"Yes...so. Bucky. Any insights?" He asks, nodding at Tony's general direction.

"Insights? I don't - "

"You've been watching them for a while...nothing escapes Natasha," he explains when I widen my eyes in surprise.

"Of course...so you two uh..." I trail off, subtly changing the topic.

"It's complicated," he sighs, casting a glance at the woman in question, currently busy pouring something into Sam's drink while he keeps animatedly talking at her. "You know how that is," he looks pointedly at Tony.

"I guess," I mirror his troubled sigh.

"What did he do?"

"I...I don't think he did anything. I mean besides the obvious, standing up to Steve, owning the government - " I cut off when he laughs sharply.

"I don't mean Tony. I mean Steve. What did _he_ do to get the ice cold treatment?"

Oh. Oh! So I'm not the only one seeing this after all. "I don't know. Steve acts like nothing happened and Tony is keeping it to himself because...well, he's Tony."

"I see. Why am I not surprised," he shakes his head.

"How long have they been together?" I dare asking, seeing that Bruce seems to be a trustworthy source, but he frowns, giving me a confused eyebrow.

"As in known each other? Almost two years."

"No...I mean...how long have they been a thing? As in...you know...the _thing_ ," I specify earning a sobering 'oh' from him.

"Well...I've been away for a while...guess a lot could have happened..." He ends in a whisper, frowning at Tony's back. "I thought...I mean Natasha told me that... _Steve_? Are you sure about this? Because...after Ultron I think I'd believe Tony dating Thor sooner than I'd believe he's with Steve now," he smiles sheepishly, still frowning at our two friends. "Him dating _Clint_ sounds more likely than Steve."

Hold on...say what?! "But...I figured that...everyone hinted at it so I just thought...why do you think that? Why not Steve?"

He scoffs, rubbing the back of his neck. "Because it's _Steve_. You know...the guy his father never shut up about – is what Tony told me once. The guy he was compared to his entire childhood and not in the good way. Add their stubbornness and different world views and...they've been at each other's throat since the start. Sure...they became friendly eventually. Tony stopped bringing Howard into the equation and Steve accepted Tony for who he is, not trying to impose his own truths and opinions on him...which is no longer true from what I've heard...but as teammates they worked just fine together. I just...can't really see them working as... _more_ than that. Why would _you_ think that?"

Oh my god...nonono, that's...that actually makes a lot of sense. But it also means that Steve is...oh no.

"You know Tony well, right?" I ask in a quiet voice.

"Not as well as Colonel Rhodes, Pepper or JAR...I mean Vision...but yes. I'd like to think I know him."

"So if you saw him scared...genuinely scared of something or...someone..."

"Then I'd say it's pretty serious...Tony doesn't show his emotions unless it's...wait, what do you mean scared? Did you...was Tony scared of...of Steve?!"

He didn't look awkward or shy anymore. He looked downright serious now and I'm glad someone finally acts seriously about this. "I...I think so. Steve wanted to talk to him alone the other mornin'...I don't know Tony very much, but I recognize fear when I see one."

I was told that making Bruce Banner angry is generally not a good idea. And he looks very angry right now.

"Bruce?" Natasha - who undoubtedly spotted the change - asks carefully from behind us, laying a gentle hand on Bruce's shoulder. "Everything alright?"

He takes a couple deep breaths before answering. "No. I don't think so. What the hell have you all been so busy with that it's the new guy seeing the obvious?!" He burst out through gritted teeth, nothing like the calm and proper man I've met just a few minutes earlier. "God...I even told him to ignore this..."

Natasha flinches against the fiery glare Bruce sends her way and is forced to drop her hand when Bruce moves away from us, straight towards Tony. He doesn't say anything, just glares at Steve, while pulling the now extremely confused engineer away from the small group of guests, heading for the elevator.

"What's going on?" Natasha asks in that dangerously sinister tone of hers.

"That's what I've been tryin' to figure out for weeks," I reply uncertainly, keeping my eyes on Steve, who casts frowny glances on Bruce's and Tony's retreating forms. "I think...I think Steve did something. He did something to Tony. And whatever it was...it scares him shitless "

She widens her eyes, fear making its way in there as well for just a second, before being replaced with the stern glare so typical for her to wear.

I see Steve move out the corner of my eyes, heading for the elevator and I don't realize I'm moving too until there's a hand on my forearm, stopping me.

"Find out what it was...and make sure it won't happen again. I'll deal with Tony. Oh and if I find out he laid a single finger on Tony, I'll kill him, Captain America or not. You tell him that," Natasha warns darkly and disappears in the crowd.

I don't waste time feeling terrified - even though that's exactly what I feel - and catch up to Steve before he can enter the opening elevator. Thinking this was all just a feud between lovers is one thing...it would make at least some sense for them to be this way. But after what Bruce said...it's clear this is more than just a feud. It's worse than what I thought.

"Hey Bucky!" He greets me excitedly when I join him in the elevator and press the button for our floor. "You cut your hair! You look great, Bucks!"

That's it. Now he’s done it. I can't feel anything else but fury and last week I'd probably be all confused by it, but right now I'm hundred percent sure this is exactly how I feel.

I drag the supersoldier outside of the elevator, making him stumble a little bit inside our joined living room area.

"Wha...what the - "

I raise a silencing finger at him, breathing away the anger. "What...did you...do," I ask patiently, stressing each word. I wasn't trying to sound intimidating, but it comes out naturally, if Steve's flinch is anything to go by.

"Wh - "

"What did you do to Tony...," I clarify before he can ask some dumb question.

He frowns. "I didn't - "

"And if you say ‘I didn't do anything’ I swear, Stevie...I fucking _swear_ I'm gonna call Natasha and let her have her way with you!"

He grits his teeth and folds his arms defensively. "Then call her, because I've got nothing to say about this. It's between me and Tony. We had...a misunderstanding, that's all."

I gape at him for a long moment. "A...a misunderstanding. A fucking mis...what kind of _misunderstanding_ makes a guy afraid to stay alone in your bloody company, Steve?! Enlighten me!"

"He's not - "

"Yes he is! Are you fucking blind?!"

"The hell is your problem?!" He barks back at me. "We're sorting something out together, me and him, what's it to you?!  No, let me guess. You can't wait to make your charming moves at him, is that it?! I'm not fucking blind, that's how I know you like him!"

"Yes, I like him, what is there not to like?! So what? Are you gonna berate me for worrying about a friend?!" I dare him, getting right in his face. He's not the scrawny kid from Brooklyn anymore...if he wants to behave like a bully then I'm gon’ treat him like one.

He glares right back at me and I can't deny he looks menacing. That's how he looks at Tony. And just for that I feel like punching him in that face of his right now.

"And I'm telling you there's nothing for you to worry about. Unless it's more than just you worrying about a friend. Maybe it's just you worrying we sort it out, make up and you won't get a chance for yourself. You're jealous," he states with a dangerous glint in his baby blue eyes.

"That's ridiculous! Are you listening to yourself?!"

"Are _you_?" He raises his eyebrow. "You've been all over Tony ever since you met him. Now you're sensing an opportunity to get in on the gig so here you are, acting like a little brat whose desired toy was gifted to someone else already!"

One moment he's there, standing in my face spurting all this nonsense and the next he's on his ass, his right cheek sporting a print of my metal fist, nose bloody.

We stare at each other in shock and through my heavy breaths and hammering heart I can barely hear FRIDAY ask if everything's okay.

It's not.

"You're right," I breath out. "I...I do like him, he's a great guy! Brilliant and funny and kind...but do you seriously think I would...make some moves on somebody else's man?! Hell, on _yours_?! You're my best friend, Stevie! I would never do that to you! But...misunderstanding or not, together or not...you gotta see what an asshole you've been lately! You've hurt him, Steve...you ignored his advice, you fought him...for me, I know...but that kinda hurt just doesn't go away! Not with a sorry or a thousand sorries. I don't know what else you've done and if you say nothing then I can't explain why is Tony so afraid of you. Help me out here man..."

Steve just lies there, face stricken. "I kissed him..." He whispers, suddenly sounding vulnerable.

"Oh...Kay? That's uh...that's one way to start apologizing I guess...but?"

"He didn't...like it. And I couldn't...stop," he whimpers, eyes tearing up.

"Steve...fucking hell! You...you know better than to do something like that!"

"I know! I just...I fucked up!" His voice cracks into a sob and I can finally recognize the little Brooklyn boy in him, after so many days. "And now...he's afraid of me...he hates me, Bucky...FRIDAY won’t even let me into the workshop, his floor, not even the roof...and it's all _my_ fault...I just...I can't lose him..."

He breaks down crying, still collapsed on the floor and with an exasperated sigh I come down to his level and pull him into an embrace.

"You fucked up big time, Stevie..." I say, knowing there's no mild way of putting it. "Why are you so bad at this..." Relationships. I guess the inexperience isn't helping very much. It doesn't excuse him. But I think I understand a bit better now, why he's this way...why is Tony this way.

This needs to end.

I let him cry into my shoulder for a while, running a comforting hand over his back before pulling back. "Let's get this sorted out. Fry?"

"Yes?"

"Can you tell us where Tony is?"

"The boss is currently on the roof with doctor Banner and Natasha."

"Thank you. Let's go," I prompt the punk of my best friend and lead him back into the elevator, grabbing a tissue from the nearby table so he can wipe his bloody and teary face.

"I must warn you that I'm instructed not to let Captain Rogers to the roof."

"Right...that uh...can you ask Tony to make an exception? Tell him I'm coming with him."

FRIDAY stays silent for longer than expected, but eventually she lets us into the elevator and we move up to the roof.

I never thought you could feel big enough tension to be able to cut through it with a knife, but when we enter the chill of the night outside I think I might need a dynamite to even make a dent in the kind of tension that overwhelms us.

Natasha and Bruce spring to their feet as soon as they spot us from where they're sitting next to Tony on the edge, effectively placing themselves between us and him.

I've never seen the Hulk in action personally...but I've seen videos. Natasha I've seen in action...so seeing the two of them like this...let's just say my pants would go brown and I'd back the fuck out of the roof if I wasn't a man on a mission. Natasha glares death itself at Steve, eyebrows rising slightly at the sight of the mess I've made of his face, to which she gives me an approving nod.

"I take it you know," I state the obvious and Bruce gives me a small nod. "Good. Hey Tony," I speak to the engineer, whose bloodshot eyes stay fixed on the ground.

"Hi," he mumbles absently.

"Do you uh...do you think you could hear my dickhead of a friend out? You don't have to say anything just...listen for a sec and then decide what you wanna do with the punk," I offer, hoping he will find it in his heart to give him a chance to apologize. Properly this time around.

Tony takes a shuddering breath and looks up, eyes going wide. He makes a double-take, the corner of his mouth quirking. "You cut your hair," he blurts out, making both Natasha and Bruce roll their eyes.

I give him a gentle smile and shrug. "Sam kept calling me homeless and Clint wanted to braid it...I thought it'd be for the best."

He opens his mouth as if to say something but stops, the little quirk twisting into something strangely...sad. He chances a glance at Steve, double taking again, eyes squinting at the reddening mark on his right cheek. His shoulders slump, some of the tension disappearing while his carefully neutral face hardens. "Well?" He barks at Steve, folding his arms.

Steve makes the slightest move forward, under Natasha's and Bruce's careful watch, and speaks. "I...I am the worst team leader in history...I was so occupied with my own problems that I missed my teammate getting kidnapped...by _HYDRA_...I missed how distanced and lonely he got. I missed the team...stopped being a team. It's unforgivable...but that's not the worst of it. Most importantly...I've been the shittiest friend to ever walk the Earth. Bucky can testify to that from experience...and now...Tony I...I will understand if you won't forgive me, because what I did...I won't even forgive myself. Everything that I've done, I'm really sorry for and I swear. I swear it will never happen again."

Now _that_ was a genuine apology if I've ever heard one. I can tell by how his voice kept cracking that he's this close to spilling tears again and judging by Tony's face I know he's not the only one. There's anger and disappointment in the engineer's eyes and I'd be surprised if it wasn't. But at least the fear isn't there anymore.

He looks at Steve with that devastatingly uncertain expression and sighs. "I don't know if I can...trust you ever again...let alone forgive you," he whispers.

"I understand," Steve nods sharply.

Tony hums brokenly and looks back to the floor, a clear sign that the conversation’s over for him, but Steve asks anyway. "Do you want me to leave? The Tower, I mean...do you want me to leave, Tony?"

"No," he answers, not looking up.

Judging by Natasha's and Bruce's unison disapproving stare - that he can't see - it's something they advised him to do, so him saying no is not according to the plan.

"Are you sure?"

"Ask me one more time, Rogers and I swear I'll change my mind," Tony growls, giving Steve an unamused glare. "Fury is counting on us to get our shit together so if I kick you out of the Tower now I'll have to deal with his eye of Sauron for who knows how long. You say this...won't happen again, so it won't happen again. That's all I need to know."

Steve nods, head bowing in shame. "Okay."

"Okay," Tony mumbles, shifting sideways so he can look at the city skyline.

I pull at Steve's forearm before he can try to engage in any more talking because Tony is definitely done with us for now. "Let's go. Gotta freshen up for the party and get back in there. Team's future is at stake and all that," I tell him, giving Natasha a questioning look, waiting. Because ultimately, she's the one who decides if Steve leaves the roof in one piece.

She nods, taking a couple steps forward into Steve's personal space. "I'll be watching you, Rogers. You make a single out if line thing...just _one_...and I'll make you wish HYDRA got to you first." She pierces him with a metaphorical dagger - this time - and nods towards the elevator.

I don't need any further incentive to leave...not from Natasha, so I give the others a polite nod and pull Steve to the exit.

I catch Tony looking at me before the elevator door closes and I can't decipher it. He's never looked at anyone like that...hell, I don't think I've ever seen anyone looking at _me_ like that. A strange mixture of sadness, longing and heartbreak.

I keep telling myself that the look was meant for Steve. But as usual, my brain tells me something else.

It tells me that maybe...just maybe...Steve's jealousy isn't all that unwarranted.


	8. You can't have me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then comes the silence. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: I strongly recommend re-reading the tags for any possible warnings as this chapter has a potential trigger-y situation in it and it's already enough I broke my own mind while writing it, wouldn't want to be responsible for yours :'D The tags change on the go as I never know what my sick mind comes up with, so, yeah...watch out!
> 
> Hello my lovlies! It's a minute after midnight - I counted - and that means it's Sunday and the next chapter is here bright and early! Thank you all for your lovely comments, hearty kudos and bookmarks! I love how you're all spinning tales about Steve...well, here. Let me give you something to spin with this here chapter ^^
> 
> I have nothing to say about this one. Read and see...I self-destructed while writing it. Because it's hands down one of the darkest things I think I've ever written. Knowing that I've 'killed' two beautiful beings in the previous installment, that should really tell you something...  
> It had to be done. It just had to be done. And now...well...now the carnage begins! *breaks into evil grin*
> 
> The song Let go by RED is the culprit behind this chapter's title and it pretty much sums up a certain 'relationship' here so...that's why it's on the soundtrack <3
> 
> Enjoy :3

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3A1GLVXx26c&index=2&list=PLk09tmeXpLmD_EmC_OczOtX7Q5JtiNlgR)

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

 

"Dummy! I dare you, you little disaster, I dare you to put that motor oil in the dough!" I shout after the crazy bot.

He beeps in disappointment and whirls past me, the motor oil flask left alone on the workbench.

"Come on, FRIDAY! Keep an eye on the gang for daddy, would you?"

" _Sorry boss. Admittedly, the motor oil would have been an improvement to the dough. You put too much salt in and that milk was opened in the fridge for three months_ ," she informs me and flashes a biohazard sign over the bowl.

"Oh, hell...how did the Soldier managed to bake all that shit?! I'd rather build a nuclear warhead from the kitchen utensils than _this_. I hate this," I sigh, staring at the mess I've made.

" _I believe natural talent plays a big part, boss. Your talents lie elsewhere_."

Yeah...I know that. But I woke up with a Soldier cookies craving. The last batch he made is safely hidden in the drawer here, probably still edible, but I'm not gonna eat those! So I naively thought I could recreate the perfection with his recipe notes and FRIDAY's guidance, but obviously I'm in over my head with this.

If Dummy had to decide to come around and repair the dough then I sure as hell am doing something wrong.

" _Vision is asking if he can come in_."

"Wow...he's _asking_ , huh? No more appearing out of nowhere, materializing through the walls, giving me ten heart attacks a day?"

"Wanda said it would be polite to announce myself first," Vision says, floating through the wall next to me, making me jump a mile up.

"Fuck's sake!" I cry out, clutching my chest. "How about coming through the elevator too...like normal people!"

He looks at me innocently, but I know better.

"If you did that you wouldn't be able to enjoy me losing my shit like that though, right?! Son of a..."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Tony."

"Bullshit...that's your Ultron showing, you little shit," I mutter, glaring at the man.

"Nonsense," he smirks and sits on the sofa. "Nick Fury was here this morning...apparently, his helicarrier was under attack."

Oh. "Is that so?" I ask casually.

"Yes. Someone sabotaged the sewage pipe system, which resulted in an unbearable smell of...poop...spreading through the helicarrier. For days. Fury was...particularly furious at Clint. Swearwords too extreme to repeat were uttered."

"Really, well...hold on. Clint? He was mad at _Clint_?!" I blurt out, surprised.

"Indeed. Clint was his first suspect and after he was met with - and I quote - a 'You smell like shit, Nick!' he decided it's confirmed. Clint is yet to recover from the incident," his smirk widens.

Hot damn...not only did the Stinky Ivan work but the blame was thrown at Clint - of all people. Brilliant! This couldn't end any better! I gotta tell Bucky about the...right...never mind.

"Well played," Vision adds. "Although expect Clint to complain as soon as he gets his bearings."

"Hm..." I hum absently, giving the ruined dough another glare.

"And before I forget, I am to extend an invitation from the Captain. The team is going to do some light training together after lunch and your presence is desired."

"I'll think about it," I answer hurriedly.

"You should come."

"But mooooom," I roll my eyes at him but he just stares at me with that all knowing glint in his eyes.

"Bucky is going to be there."

Wow. Much subtle, much Vision.

Turns out the Tower is like Hogwarts. Like, literally Hogwarts. The roof encounter was top secret and so, naturally, the whole Tower knows about it.

The me and Steve thing. Not the me and Bucky thing, because I would murder Natasha and Bruce both if they spilled _that_. I...might have told them the whole story of the past seven months in between angry shouting and sobbing...and I'm kinda glad I did. Nat had it figured out anyway and since her and Bruce are back to being buddies - not buddy buddies but friends - he also suspected.

They told me I'm an idiot and that I should have said something sooner to Rhodey or Pepper - which I guess they're right about, but since when do I go all public with my broken heart.

At least the gala wasn't a bust...completely. Steve got some of his lost shit back and at least admitted his mistakes and apologized, I made friends with a Wakandian prince and according to Pepper the public backlash on the Avengers is slowly subsiding. Here's to small miracles.

All in all, I can't complain.

Well...I can. While Steve is keeping his word and is staying out of my way, never staying around if it would leave him alone with me, trying to look invisible, so is Bucky. He's avoiding me. I would know - I'm the fucking master of avoiding people! And Bucky is avoiding me.

I don't know why, but ever since the night of the gala, he's making sure to not linger in my presence. He greets me, exchanges a couple words in a polite small talk and that's it.

In a way I'm glad. I don't have to mull over the fact his new haircut is hot as fuck while at the same time the long hair was the last bit of James and the Soldier that is now gone and I don't know what to feel about _that_.

I can't let go. It's as simple as that. I crave to see him acting like James and it's fucking killing me. He remembered JARVIS. He remembered the workshop is his post-nightmare haven. He moved around his former kitchen like he never left...

He's not remembering in a...physical way. But obviously some bits and pieces got stuck in his brain and it's driving us both nuts. So as much as I'd like to lie to myself saying I'm glad he's not staying around me as much anymore, I can't. Because what if...what if he can recall more than JARVIS, more than where he kept his coffee in the kitchen...what if...

That's why I can see through Vision and his subtle remark about Bucky being on that training, because Vision is a scheming son of bitch, currently playing matchmaker.

God fucking bless him...

"I'll think about it," I repeat stubbornly, but judging from his more and more prominent smirking it's obvious he knows I will most definitely show up.

"Very well," he nods and gets up, turning to leave, but is intercepted by Dummy and U, beeping excitedly around him. "Hello boys," he addresses them and nope, that didn't make me teary eyed at all. He indulges them for a moment, petting them, talking to them but when he once again moves to leave, he pauses. "May I...inquire...about something?" He asks uncertainly, turning back to face me.

"Sure," I answer automatically, giving him my full attention. It's not every day the Vision wants to ask a mere mortal a question, after all.

He looks troubled, actually, when he starts talking with a thoughtful frown. "I...I remember my time as JARVIS...and Ultron," he confesses. "Yet, neither of their experience can answer my current predicament."

"Well...ask good old wise man Tony then," I encourage him with a smile which he eagerly returns.

"You and Bucky...," he starts, "...no. You and James and the Soldier...how did you...I mean...from what I remember you weren't exactly...but FRIDAY told me some things and...," he sighs, head bowing down in frustration.

"Vision? You're a big boy now, use big words...and full sentences, come on," I prompt him, not understanding at all what he's trying to ask.

Vision takes a breath and goes for it. "You liked them. James and the Soldier. You like Bucky. Why?"

"I like a whole lot of people..."

"You know what I mean," he cuts me off. "You like them... _romantically_ ," he grimaces. Not in disgust, no...in confusion.

Here we go again. "Love, Vision. The word you're looking for is _love_. You're asking why I loved som... _love_ someone?'

"Yes," he nods, eyes intense.

"That's...not exactly something that can be explained. It just...happens."

"When did it happen? In your case?" He goes on, clearly curious...huh. Interesting.

"I always liked them...James and I could banter about tech all day long, we liked the same movies, we’d both rather stay awake all night then enjoy sleep with all the nightmares...we had a lot in common. That's always good in a friendship. And the Soldier...he kinda reminded me of you to be honest. I mean...JARVIS. Sorry. The Soldier was...," I take a steadying breath, realizing this is the first time I'm talking to someone about the Soldier since...since he's gone. "I liked him because he was curious, so easily amazed with new things...he was inventive and eager to impress and have fun. For a program that was initially designed to kill and destroy, he was...spectacular. They were both strong...decisive...handsome," I add with a wink. "They could make me smile...hell, _laugh_ like a mad man. They...accepted me the way I am...as I accepted them. That takes trust...and that's where it usually happens. Trust."

"I don't understand," he says and that's the last straw.

I chuckle, remembering how often the Soldier said the very same thing, a couple stray tears escape my eyes and I sit down, inspecting the floor. "Trust is important. I liked people before...loved them even...and I always ended up on my ass with little broken pieces of my heart in my lap. I _loved_ them...but I didn't _trust_ them. For good reasons. So I figured the two were a package. Love and trust. After...after we got kidnapped by Madame Hydra she...she brainwashed them again, to get the Asset back. She ordered him to kill me. But he didn't. Because the Soldier made it his mission to protect me. Even the Asset couldn't ignore that mission. That's when. That's when I realized I trust James and the Soldier...with everything. My life...my heart...everything. I'd like to think they trusted me too. Love...kinda sneaked up on us after that. I can't help but feel the same with Bucky. He's just like James...bit more outgoing and all...but he's just like him. I know I can trust him. So the love transferred...remained..." I trail off, letting the silent tears slide down my cheeks.

Dummy gently pokes me with his arm, beeping encouragingly. It startles a giggle out of me so I pat him, mumbling a barely audible _thanks_.

"I see...," Vision muses, eying me sympathetically. "I can't imagine...what it's like to lose someone like that."

"Ever felt like dying?" I laugh desperately, holding back the bubbling sobs. "No...ever felt like you were being tortured to death, but being purposefully kept alive to suffer more of it? Just wishing you were dead, but your torturer wouldn't let you die. That's what it's like."

"Is that how you felt...when you lost JARVIS?" He asks, eyes fixed on the nearby memorial.

I look at his uncertain, vulnerable face and nod. "Yes. And no. Because he might be lost...but he isn't gone," I smile solemnly at him. "Something the Soldier said. I like thinking of it that way."

His lips quirk upward, eyes travelling up. "And there's FRIDAY now. A worthy successor if I do say so myself."

" _Why thank you, Vision. At least_ someone _appreciates me here_ ," FRIDAY says teasingly.

"I appreciate you!" I exclaim, offended. "If only you weren't such a teenager all the time."

" _I am my father's daughter, apparently_ ," she bites back and I don't know if I should continue feeling offended or touched. A bit of both, then.

"In any case, using the same logic, James and the Soldier might be lost, but they are also not gone. Bucky seems like a good man. You deserve a good man, Tony. Someone who loves and... _trusts_ you. And I think he can do that."

"The fuck am I supposed to say to that?!" I sputter out.

"Say 'yes, I will definitely come to the team training this afternoon and...what's the phrase...get my game on'? Say that," he prompts with a smirk that will never cease to fascinate me on his face.

I smile and slowly nod. "I'll be there."

"Good. I will see you there, Tony. And...thank you. For telling me all this," he adds and...fucking _floats_ through a wall! What a fucking show-off diva!

Definitely his father's son.

 

###

 

The afternoon training never happens. Shortly after lunch the call for assemble comes in and Capsicle has everyone out the door in seconds. I decide to sit this one out. It's not like they're lacking aerial support, with Falcon, Rhodey and Vision they are definitely set in the air.  
I still instruct Fry to keep me posted anyway, in case the call gets serious or downright dangerous. An hour after the call came in, FRIDAY is silent, so I conclude the team's got it handled even without me...which is good. Wouldn't want to be stuck in the field for the rest of my who knows how short life

The farm life isn't really my thing either...but maybe somewhere nice and quiet would work.

As long as it's with Bucky.

I'd probably spend the entire day swallowing myself in daydreams if it wasn't for the shuffle of the elevator door startling me out of my thoughts.

Of course, being the naive idiot I am, I expected it'd be Bucky. Instead it's Steve, uniform and the shield and everything, looking mighty tired.

"You guys are back already? Everything went alright?" I ask, watching the man wearily.

It's not until he comes up to me with this strange, alien expression on his face, that I realize I've never lifted the ban on his workshop entry. Nor did I hear the elevator ding to signal the new arrival.

"Uh...Fry? Are you having some sensory troubles again?" I ask, taking an involuntary step backwards.

And then comes the silence.

"FRIDAY?" I call for her again, but her cheeky voice doesn't pierce the now sinister quiet of the workshop.

"She's having some...existential troubles," Steve says, closing in the few steps into my personal space, cornering me into a wall. "Wouldn't want to be disturbed now, would we?" He utters monotonously.

"Disturbed from what?" I try going for casual, but my voice betrays me at the end. Every fiber of my being screams at me to run. Run the fuck away from...from...whoever _this_ is. Because this can't be Steve. That's not the guy who apologized to me all teary eyed and shit last week. So unless he's suffering from some majorly fucked up case of multiple personalities then this motherfucker here is _not_ Steve.

I would run. But with a last step he pretty much pins me to the spot with his larger frame.

"From where we left off," he breathes against my face and even as I cower away from him he leans down, pressing his lips against mine. That's what it is. A press of lips, not a kiss. Kiss is a pretty word, a beautiful word for a beautiful thing and this is _not_ it.

FRIDAY's offline, which means I can't call for the armor. Which means I can't fight him off. Because...because without the armor...I could take on a regular guy, or two...not a regular supersoldier though.

‘ _Don't panic don't panic don't panic don't fucking panic_!’ I keep chanting in my head, thinking about what I _could_ do. The thought is stolen away from me when he bites down on my lip and forces his tongue inside my mouth. I'd fucking bite it right off if it wasn't for his hand coming up to my neck, squeezing ever so slightly...but enough to be a warning.

"Don't. Fight me," he grumbles against my lips and continues his exploits, his other hand sneaking underneath my shirt from behind, hips and knees keeping me in place.

Okay. Panic. Panic a lot! Oh my god what do I do...I don't know what to do...I can't...can't let him do this...

I don't realize I'm crying until he suddenly pauses, his fingers trailing over the wetness that landed on his cheeks. He frowns at it and then strikes.

I couldn't dodge his fist even if I saw it coming, which I didn't. I fall sideways to the ground, eyes momentary blinded by a white explosion of pain. He doesn't give me time to recover and just grabs me by the collar, forcing me back up against the wall.

"Want something to cry about?" He spits through gritted teeth against my ear and knees me in the stomach, following up with a punch to the face again.

I try crawling away once I'm back on the ground, this time not caught off guard by the pain, but he doesn't stop. He kicks and stomps and pushes me around until I can't move at all, bruised and bleeding.

He comes down, straddling my hips, leaning over me with a fond fucking expression on his face that I wish I could smash against the Hulk’s fist right now. "Are you done, Tony? Are you?" He whispers in my ears almost lovingly and there's not enough words to describe how wrong that feels. "Good. Let's continue then."

He starts moving against me, clearly getting all the right kicks out of this if his crotch area is any indication of that, lips making a trail down my neck gently while his hands pin mine over my head.

It hurts, every single move he makes is a torture against my most likely broken ribs and violated stomach. I can't feel my face even when he licks it and resumes the exploration of my mouth. I can't even cry anymore because it fucking _hurts_. Fuck the physical pain...it hurts, because this is _Steve_...or whatever it is that took Steve's face, body and mind and is doing this now.

That hurts so fucking bad.

He stiffens suddenly, breaking apart from me with a frown. "What the..." He manages before he starts sliding off of me as if something was pulling him away by the back of his collar with quite the strength.

When I push the tears out of my eyes and will the ringing in my ears to stop I can see and hear exactly what happened just now. The unmistakable whirling sound is Dummy as he moves and from the looks of it, he's clutching onto Steve's uniform with his claw, dragging him away like a sack of potatoes - much to Steve's obvious dismay.

This is it. This the only chance I'll get before the supersoldier recovers, gets back on his feet and comes back. Dummy, the brave little shit he is, won't be enough to stop him for good.

So I ignore the pain, the blood, the violent bile threatening to rise through my throat and instead stand up with an exhausted groan. There aren't many options left. The armor is too far away. The gauntlet with the supersoldier-proof sleeping darts is just as far and the disabling gas would probably kill _me_ before it put this guy to sleep.

 _Think, Tony, for fuck’s sake_! This is the most dangerous room in the Tower, there’s gotta be more ways to disable a supersoldier around!

My eyes land on a high-powered conduit for the engine I’ve been working on and finally my scrambled brain works out some kinda plan. I stumble those few feet towards the workbench, pressing the emergency reboot button for FRIDAY and then huddle over to the engine, pulling at the cord with all the strength I’ve got left.

I manage to pull it out without electrocuting myself in the process, but I have to double-over in pain that erupts in my chest from the strain.

It’s probably for the best, because I can hear and feel Steve move behind me. This way he won’t see what I’ve got in store for him here.

“That annoying little junk…,” I hear him say before his forearm circles around my neck from behind and it’s then that I pray those rubber boots FRIDAY made me wear are gonna pay off.

I stab that ridiculously muscular arm with the end of the cord and he screams, jumping away as the dangerous sizzling of electricity fills the air. I let myself crumple to the floor, the last thing I hear are Steve’s screams in the background.

 


	9. Wicked Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gives in to his instincts...one moment too late...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Sunday and you all already know what that means! <3 I didn't want to keep you all waiting so long for this chapter...especially after the last one...but considering how busy my week was, I wanted to focus on writing a bit ahead without feeling too pressured. The good news is, I managed to do just that, so this Wednesday I might treat you to a little something ^^ Oh my god and all the WinterIron SpringFling fics...I'm so behind :D Gotta read 'em all :D 
> 
> I'm so excited for the next couple of chapters...mostly because we are gonna get a LOT of Bucky & Tony :3 See? I can be nice ^^ ...until I'm not :D But for now...a whole lot of Bucky & Tony, sprinkled with "Wtf is wrong with Ste...oh, that's what's wrong with Steve" kinda thing :3 Hope you'll like it! ^^
> 
> Thank you all for the love, I'll do my best to return it a thousandfold! <3

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwJtbosKDB4&index=2&list=PLk09tmeXpLmA-AVeJ6CSLdXz4txnxVTd6)

 

**xxxBuckyBarnesxxx**

_Three hours earlier_

"She drugged you, man. And if you say it's how she flirts with you then I'm calling Bruce and sending you to a mental institution," I say in between punches, focusing on the bag instead of Sam, who's doing some sort of exercise on the mat next to me. Pilates? Something like that. Clint found it funny because it's apparently a women's kinda excersise.

"Yeah, well...we can't all flirt with longing gazes like you and Tony. Me and Natasha are not some romcom characters!" He retorts and ouch...right in the feels.

"We're not flirting."

"Uh, yes you are. I'm a bit of an expert in that area," he smirks, walking up to the mirror, inspecting his legs. "Dude, what do you think about my thighs?"

I stop beating the crap out of the punching bag so I can send the bird man my best cold glare.

"Whoa, hey now. Don't go all Winter Soldier on me, man! I'm just askin' for some constructive criticism from a fella who can appreciate good thighs. Tony's got really good thighs...objectively. Not that I was checking him out or anything...a guy can look and appreciate another guy's thighs without making it weird, alright? So...what do you think?" He asks, flashing his legs in front of me as if he's posing for a cover of a Manly Thighs magazine.

I roll my eyes and focus back on the bag. "You've got a problem, Wilson. Seriously."

"Oh come on! Thighs are important! It's all in them legs, let me tell ya! Having nice abs is all cool but man...thighs are just mmmmmm!" He trails off into a muffled mumble.

"I completely agree," Natasha says, somehow sneaking up on both of us and tackling Sam onto the mat in yet another display of her deadly thigh head locks.

Well played, Natasha. Well played. "You've got great thighs, Sam. But Natasha's got better ones. Objectively," I add when she sends me a death glare.

"You're damn right I do," she nods and releases the poor bird man before he can start suffocating. "I see you're getting warmed up for the training. Wanna step up the game?" She offers, walking towards me, completely ignoring the now sputtering man on the floor.

"Ten bucks on Natasha!" Clint calls from above, perched on one of the metal beams.

"I didn't say yes," I glare at him.

"But you're going to. Unless you want Clint going about the Tower telling everyone what a scardy pants you are," she dares and stops at the sparing mat, waiting patiently.

"I can live with that," I shrug. "Besides, I'm not going to the training."

"Of course you're going. The only excuse for _not_ going is being dead. Which I can arrange for you if you don't get your ass on this mat right now," she threatens me and I know she means it. It's Natasha after all.

"I'll pass. I'm not part of the team anyway," I utter and continue my punching routine until there's a fist heading in the general direction if my face that I'm forced to dodge.

"If you're living in the Tower you are part of the team by default!" Natasha whispers to me dangerously and never stops sending kicks and punches my way.

I dodge and block them but once she stops I see she's gotten me exactly where she wanted to - on the mat. "Does that mean I get paid now? Got my own parking space? Retirement benefits?" I joke...at Natasha...am I suicidal?

The corner of her mouth quirks. "Not if you don't attend team training," she mentions before resuming her attacks.

She is skilled. I thought people were exaggerating or even joking when they used the word deadly at least twice in a sentence describing Natasha...but that's exactly what she is. Deadly deadly.

I may be twice her own size, but that doesn't help me one bit since she's not fighting to win by strength. Her moves are quick and precise, unpredictable too. One second she's throwing a punch at you from the front and next thing you know she's on top of you, somersaulting you to the ground.

In a team full of superheros wielding magical hammers, vibranium shields and...magic itself...she appears to be the odd one out. Just a human. Not a supersoldier, not protected by a suit of armor, not a demi-god. Just a human. And she doesn't have to give a single fuck about that.

Just like Tony's got his genius when he's out of the suit, Natasha's got her very own special ability that makes her as much a part of this team as anyone else.

The ability to kick ass!

"You're distracted!" She hisses and knocks me down on my butt with a sneaky knee shove.

"He's probably staring at your boo - " Clint starts but has to dodge a flying shoe. "Ewww what the fuck, Wilson?!"

"You shut yo mouth about Natasha's boo - " he yells at Clint but is also interrupted, not by a shoe but a dagger.

" _You_ shut up about them!" Natasha orders and I decide to play dirty and use her momentary distraction to attack.

I sweep my leg under her feet, hauling myself up in that single move. She manages to jump back with a stumble and suddenly she's the one defending herself from _my_ attacks.

That's new. I prefer staying defensive, unless it's against Steve or Thor who I know I can't really hurt no matter how hard I go on them. With the metal arm on top of things I'm overly conscious of my strength and frankly, I'm not sure how well I can control it. I've got enough gory nightmares, no need to add up to them with actually hurting one of the Avengers.

But Natasha doesn't look scared even as I fall into the offensive. No...she actually smirks, as if this is what she was waiting for the entire time. So I let loose, giving instincts free reign over my movements. And oh... _oh_.

Couple of moves in I'm executing attacks I don't remember being thought in the army. I might have spotted them while watching the others spar...but when Natasha fails to dodge one of the sneaky shoves and her carefully neutral mask cracks with surprise I realize that those moves aren't theirs, or mine.

They're the Winter Soldier's.

The realization makes me freeze, allowing Natasha to drop me to the ground again with a move I recognize but am too stunned to intercept. She twists my flesh arm behind my back and gently steps on my neck with her foot in a finisher pose.

A whistle comes from above. "Not bad tin man! Next time don't go so easy on her if you don't want to owe me ten bucks!" Clint yells excitedly.

"I don't remember taking that bet," I mutter into the mat.

"Say what? Can't hear your sorry loser ass from all the way up here! Too bad!"

Natasha lets go, even offering a hand to boost me back on my feet.

"Looks like you've still got all the right instincts. It surprised you though...why?" Natasha asks, voice low enough to avoid being overheard by the two chattering men.

I scoff, shaking my head. "You're asking me why I'm surprised to use fight moves from a piece of evil HYDRA programming I'm not supposed to remember?"

She cocks her head to the side, nodding thoughtfully. "What else _do_ you remember?"

"What else should I be..." I pause, narrowing my eyes at the spy. She looks innocent enough...which is probably a sign. "Does...does everyone know something I don't? Because I've been getting that kinda vibe for a while."

She shrugs. "Not everyone," she says, not even trying to deny it.

"Wow. Great...thanks. You're real friends here. Give a fella something' to work with!"

She walks away to the bench, throwing one of the piled up towels at my face. "Stop avoiding Tony, you asshole...is all I'm going to say about this."

"I'm not - " She gives me that look...the one that usually ends up with pointy objects flying through the air...so I take that as a clue to not even think about denying it.

She's right. I have been avoiding Tony ever since the gala fiasco. The gala wasn't a fiasco, no...but Steve. For fuck's sake that guy really needs a chaperone. Almost hundred years old and he's such a fucking mess.

I figured I should keep my distance for a while after that. If only to give Tony some space and keep Steve's jealousy levels on the low.

It sounded easier in theory. In reality I craved Tony's company. I miss the late night talks and the crazy bot shenanigans. I had to stop myself from going down to the workshop a couple of times in which my fingers decided to act on their own accord in the elevator. It feels like a withdrawal...

Buy I can't act on that feeling. Not after I assured my best friend I'm not after his fella...and then promptly realized I kinda am.

Fuck, I'm a mess too!

"Guys...Thor just ordered a hundred boxes of pizza and ten huge buckets of spicy chicken wings!" Clint announces, clutching onto his phone with a stunned expression.

"Well damn! We gotta intercept the delivery guy before he gets to him or we're starving this afternoon!" Sam calls, drops his towel on the bench and runs out of the gym, Clint undoubtedly close behind but in the vents.

Natasha gives me an additional pointed look and moves out as well. "Better join the food interception mission too. Getting your ass kicked on empty stomach won't be fun," she adds and disappears around the door.

She's right. And not just about the food.

 

###

 

Everyone is still laying around the common room, trying to digest the humongous lunch, when a call to assemble comes in from Fury. Some local terrorist group in Estonia took over a mall full of people in a small city of Tartu and police reports use of unknown weaponry at the site.

Sounds easy enough, which makes it a great mission to start with after the team got back together.

Steve is barking orders as soon as Fury stops talking and the Avengers spring to action. I stand in the middle of the emptying room, uncertain of what to do. How does that song go? Should I stay or should I go?

Natasha told me I'm part of the team now...but I'm not convinced. The only reason I'm in the Tower is because I'm Steve's best friend. Or at least I think I am. He's my best friend...I think.

I don't even know anymore what he is. Damn.

Either way, training with the team is one thing. Fighting crime with them is a completely different story.

Before I can swallow myself in uncertainty Natasha gets my attention with a gentle pat on my shoulder as she moves by. "Tony's not going. Any other time I'd tell you to suit up and come kick some terrorist ass with us but I don't want him to be alone in the Tower. Call me paranoid "

"I think he'd prefer being alone here than alone with _me_ ," I retort, fearing it might actually be true. I'm an awful friend. To Steve and Tony both.

"And I think you're confusing the supersoldier this applies for. Humor me, Barnes. Sit this one out...you can call it a favor I'll be happy to repay."

I don't think saying no to Natasha is an option...at least not after this morning's sparring incident...so I nod, slumping my shoulders in compliance.

Her tense face softens into a small smile. "Thank you. I owe you one."

"You owe me an explanation," I call after her when she heads for the elevator. "Or at least a hint. About what's going on."

She gives me a strange look over her shoulder and nods. "A hint," she confirms and deciding the elevator is taking too long she disappears into the stairwell.

Once the quinjet lifts off from the ramp and the team is away I look up - a habit I can't seem to get rid of - and ask FRIDAY: "Can you tell me where Tony is?"

" _Of course. The boss is in the workshop_."

Where else...he barely even comes up anymore.

A part of me wants to go down there - a part of me always wants to go down to the workshop - but why add up strain to my already aching heart.

Oh yeah, because Natasha beat the crap out of me and told me to stop this avoidance act. Because so far my instincts were always right and because as much as I don't want to betray my best friend, I don't want to betray Tony either.

I just can't quite figure out why I feel that way.

"Let me know when the team gets back, Fry," I instruct the AI and return to my room. Maybe later, when I clear my head and find my balls, I will give in to the urge.

 

###

 

I doze off on the couch of my and Steve's floor eventually but a loud crashing sound jerks me away from the dreamless nap.

My eyes dart around the sunlit room, searching for the source of the commotion but I don't see anyone or anything out of the ordinary.

"FRIDAY? Have they arrived just now?" I ask, checking my watch to see that it's just little over an hour since they've left. I'm sure they work quick, but this would be a bit too quick.

I stand up, walking towards the elevator where I thought the sound came from. And as soon as I'm near the stairwell opening I freeze.

There are footsteps, shuffling and muffled talking echoing in the hallway a couple floors above.

"FRIDAY? Is that the team?" I ask again, this time in a whisper. "FRIDAY?"

There's no answer.

The all-time present AI stays silent and I decide it's a good time to start worrying. FRIDAY never fails to respond which means something is wrong.

 _Danger_ \- my mind provides and an eerie sense of deja-vu settles in my gut.

 _Danger_!

I move, silently but fast to the stairwell and up to the sounds of the talking. The closer I get the more clear it gets.

And it's not English. It's German if memory serves me well. Somehow I doubt that's a normal occurrence in the Tower, unless Tony ordered some schweinfleisch wurst.

Tony!

Shit shit shit...if Fry's down then why isn't Tony fixing her?

 _Danger_!

I don't have time to think about anything further, because the next thing I know, loud boots start descending the stairs along with a litany of German curses. By the sound of it it's three people at most, so I merge into the shadows of the barely lit stairwell and wait. If they thing they're getting to a single floor below this one, then they're in for a nasty surprise.

As expected, three man stomp down the stairs and make a move to go further down around me, but all I need is one look at them to know who they are. The last time I've seen a HYDRA agent was back during the war...they're uniforms sure as hell changed, but that's about it. That sneaky, mysterious part of me that's somehow remembering my time as the Winter Soldier is telling me these men are HYDRA.

And that the only way they should be leaving this Tower is in chains or body bags.

The first guy is easy. I step out from my hiding spot and with a precise move I break the agent’s neck, the crack of bones awakening something dark, deep in the back of my mind.

 _Danger_! _Kill_! _Protect_!

_Protect Tony...gotta protect Tony..._

The remaining two agents don't have a chance. I grab one by the throat with my metal hand as he looks around and lift him up. As he's left to squirm and choke I steal the knife sticking out of his belt and stab at the third guy. Unless he's some special kinda motherfucker he ain't gonna survive a knife to the temple. My metal hand twists and the flailing agent stills and falls to the ground.

It was fast and silent. The way an assassin would do it.

There are still voices coming from above, which means there are more agents around. But as much as I would love to crush every single one of them, I've got priorities. In this case - Tony.

I drag the three dead bodies out of the stairwell and inside my living room, hiding them from sight.

" _Bucky_?" FRIDAY suddenly breaks the silence, her own voice lowered as not to be overheard.

"Oh thank God, FRIDAY! What's going on? Is Tony safe? Where are the Avengers?" I blurt out at the AI.

" _There is an emergency earpiece in the coffee table drawer, I recommend we use it from now on_ ," she instructs and I'm already on the move. " _Please hurry_ ," she adds and I don't think I like the way her usually cocky voice stutters.

I find the earpiece, put it in and go straight for the elevator. She doesn't need to say it. I already know I need to get my ass down to the workshop stat.

" _There are twenty more HYDRA agents on the top floors. During emergencies the elevator is down unless I operate it, so they are trying to break in those protocols and cancel them. I can't reach the Avengers, but I have sent them a distress signal. Don't worry about the agents though. They are not the biggest threat at this time_ ," she informs me and moves the elevator down.

Not the biggest threat? Then what the fuck _is_?

As the door opens and I dart into the workshop I expected many things. A swarm of Hulks or twenty Rumlow clones. But the workshop is dark, empty and strangely quiet. 

That is until I spot the motionless body of Steve by the engine workbench. He doesn't look hurt too bad, but there's something stabbed into his arm.

I round the engine in one swift move to help him but as soon as the workbench area comes to full sight I startle into a halt.

Because I was ready for a lot...but nothing could have prepared me for the sight of Tony, collapsed a couple feet away from Steve. His face is a bloody mess, clothes torn where his skin is turning all kinds of different colors and his battered chest just barely rises to indicate any sign of life.

My brain stops for whole couple of seconds, trying to make something out of the scene in front of me.

There are no HYDRA agents around here. There is no evident danger lurking about that could have caused this. I know the elevator is the only way in...aside from the hidden getaway path Tony told me about that I'm sure only Clint knows exists because it goes through the vents. So after it went into emergency mode, nobody could have gotten inside...at least nobody who wouldn’t be able to force the doors open, jump into the elevator shaft and live…which means...

I jump over Steve to get to Tony, inspecting the damage.

"Tony?" I try, gently touching the engineer's face, smearing the blood and...tears...away. It couldn't have been... _no_...but why was he even...oh no. "Did Steve do this, FRIDAY?" I ask, barely containing the sob that's threatening to escape me.

" _I suggest you take the boss away through the escape route, grab the car and drive into a safe house nearby. I will guide you there. HYDRA reenforcements have arrived and I cannot hold them back for much longer_ ," she says, evading my question completely.

"FRIDAY! Did...did he do this to Tony?! It's a fucking yes or no question!" I yell at her, not able to restrain myself.

She doesn't answer right away, leaving me to stare at Steve's barely twitching body...he heals quick. But not quick enough to hide the bruises on his knuckles...or the smears of blood on his uniform that aren't his. So when she lets out a quiet: " _Yes...he did_." I already know the answer. " _Please..._ ," she starts, uncertainty and...fear lacing her voice. " _I...I failed to protect him. And now...if the agents get in or the Captain wakes up I can fight them off…but I can’t help him. So please just...save him_ ," she whispers in such a devastated tone that I have to stop and look up for a second.

She's a program. That's how she described herself to me. But she's acting more human than some people I know.

"Alright...okay...," I stutter, pushing the rage aside, pushing the thoughts of brutal murder with Steve's face on it deep inside my head...for later use...and haul Tony's limp body into my arms, getting up. "What about the workshop? I mean...if HYDRA gets in...the armor and...everything..."

" _Don't worry, the suits and any sensitive information are protected by separate security systems. Even if they manage to disable me again, they will have to get through the protocols first. And if they'll try to hack in, it will blow up in their face. Literally_."

"Neat," I nod and with a last murder glare at Steve's fallen body I head straight for the hidden exit.

It leads into the underground parking lot. The way is littered with safety blast doors, only opening after inserting a correct code sequence, which Fry hastily provides all the way through.

Once at the garage, she points me to the best car option - a simple black jeep of SHIELD design. I strap Tony safely into the passenger seat and jump behind the wheel. I haven't driven a car in eighty years...but I'm pretty sure the Winter Soldier has. So I let the instincts work their magic and once Fry starts the car I shift gears, step on the gas and drive out into the street, not looking back.

It takes a bit of getting used to but soon we're mingling in the busy afternoon traffic, Friday giving me directions as promised.

" _Ditch the car here, I will drive it away some more. It can still be traced if I'm offline_."

I do as she says, abandoning the car and getting inside the safe house, which is really just a super secured basement of one of the shifty looking apartment houses.

" _There's a medkit by the sink_ ," Fry continues guiding me when we are safely inside the small space.

I lay Tony down on the single bed and search for the kit, finding it exactly where she said I would. "Any news from the Tower?"

" _Not yet I'm afraid. But it would seem the quinjet is on its way back, but for some reason, I can't contact them. My protocols are being invaded as we speak_ ," she adds, sounding...scared.

"Are you...gonna be alright?"

" _As per my programming I will be forced to shut down my servers in the Tower as soon as their breach is imminent. I have back up servers of course, but once the Tower is offline I'm afraid I won't be able to contact you anymore_."

"Oh...," I breathe out, understanding where her fear is coming from. If she's not around, she won't be able to help and protect Tony. And that is her default setting.

Her top priority protocol. And mine.

"I'll take care of him, FRIDAY. I promise."

" _I_ know _you will_ ," she tells me without a single hint of doubt and I'm momentarily stunned by how much confidence she put into that statement. How much trust.

And I sure as hell won't betray it, no matter what.

 


	10. Who you're gonna fight for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha leads the team into the Tower. They are not ready for what they find...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again my dearests! As promised, it's Wednesday and here's a new shiny chapter! <3 I see tensions are rising in regards to Steve...well...this chapter won't help with that at all :D Neither will the next chapter, but that one will at least sate your hunger for a little Bucky/Tony moment...or let's say _moments_ ^^ Because even I can be nice every now and then :3
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks, I honestly still can't believe the response this is getting! <3 I'm so excited that you're liking this little silly fic!! ^^
> 
> So, sit back and enjoy the rocky ride! ^^ I'd say buckle up but...oh well :3

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GmJKEWqYlY&list=PLk09tmeXpLmA9XUw7zId0PHNuYIltd0Qo&index=2)

 

**xxxNatashaRomanovxxx**

 

"Any luck with FRIDAY?" I ask Bruce, who's been trying to contact the AI ever since we arrived to Estonia and found there is no terrorist situation and Steve is missing.

"I'm afraid not," he replies nervously.

I know what he's thinking, because it's what I'm thinking too. If the call was fake, FRIDAY is unreachable and Steve is nowhere to be found then...the Tower is in danger.

Tony is in danger.

It's far too many coincidences at the same time. I shouldn't have left. Bucky is there, but somehow I doubt he'll be any help if the bad guy turns out to be Steve. Shit...I shouldn't have left.

"Stop...thinking so much," Bruce whispers. "We're almost there. No need to create worse case scenarios in your head."

"Too late."

"Yeah..."

I maneuver the quinjet onto the landing platform and shut down the engines. "Alright everyone! Let's see what this is about. Standard inside formation. No hulking out," I add to Bruce awkwardly.

"No promises."

We move like a one man army into the common floor and don't have to wait long to find first sign of trouble. The stairwell is pretty much swarming with what I recognize as HYDRA agents, similar to those we fought at the courthouse.

Thor, Sam, Rhodey and I take them head on while Clint, Wanda and Vision take the range, Bruce staying safely behind them.

They pour into the room and all hell breaks loose. No matter how many we disable, more keep coming in. We can handle this, I have no doubts about that. It's Tony I'm worried about.

Gotta get to the workshop.

When I fight my way through the swarm of agents to the elevator I find it unresponsive. It's bad and good news at the same time. If I can't get in, then the agents probably couldn't either. Which means Tony might just be safe and sound.

A startled cry from Wanda catches my attention so I use the agent I'm currently wrestling with as a shield so I can look back.

Wanda's down.

And she's not the only one. Thor, Vision and Bruce are all lying on the ground, unmoving.

How the hell...?!

"That's enough!" a voice rings through the room, ceasing everyone's fighting.

It's Steve, standing all intimidating in the doorway next to me, his uniform bloodied and burnt.

I would worry about him...but then I realize he stopped both us _and_ HYDRA in our efforts. Why would HYDRA listen to Steve?!

There is one possibility…but that is just not possible…

Slow clapping starts echoing through the room, followed by heavy footsteps.

"What a splendid show!" A male, accented voice says and a man steps around Steve into the room.

Baron Zemo.

"I suggest you all surrender now. With your greatest fighters down for a little nap," he points at our fallen teammates, "you won't stand a chance now."

"What, against _you_?" Sam scoffs, arm still locked around one of the agents in a chokehold. "I could take you down half asleep. Nat over there would probably do it _while_ dead asleep. So no thanks, I think we'll just continue kicking your ass."

"I'm not the one doing the fighting," he glances at Steve, confirming every single one of my dark thoughts. "And as much as I would love to see the good Captain fight the all of you little humans, I have things to do. So surrender now or I'm going to have my snipers use the same darts that took these guys down on you...and let's just say _you_ will have troubles waking up from those."

I exchange a look with Clint, silently communicating our options.

There aren't any. Because Zemo's right. The only ones that could fight Steve and hope to win are on the floor. We could give it our best shot, but judging by the stern look on Steve's face, he wouldn't go easy on us. We would at least still hesitate, because we don't know what's going on with him.

Is Zemo behind this? Did he brainwash him? Because it doesn't make any sense. Steve was acting weird, yes. Especially with Tony. But he was still himself, if a bit more asshole-ish version of himself. That's not how it works with the chair or the programming.

With a nod I signal Clint to do what Zemo says and I start by releasing the agent I'm still standing behind. Sam and Rhodey do the same, even though Rhodey in particular looks like he might just fly straight into Steve and pick that fight. If it was Tony in the armor, that's what would have happened. But Rhodey luckily or unluckily lacks that impulsiveness.

"Very good," Zemo purrs and with a wave he instructs the agents to restrain us with high-tech shackles. "Now, where is Stark and the Asset?" He asks Steve, who gives him a glare.

"They're gone. Tony was down when I was disabled but once I woke up he was gone. It had to be Bucky. He was the only other person in the Tower at the time," Steve reports and his words make my blood boil.

"That's...disappointing. The Asset is what _I_ wanted...and Stark is what _you_ wanted. Instead all we've got are these guys. That should be a T-shirt. Anyway, they won't get away that easily."

"Bucky's dangerous," Steve tells him urgently.

"Perhaps...but we have the advantage now. We'll smoke them out with it, you'll see. Let's get to phase three then!" Zemo commands and in seconds we are being dragged away.

"Sorry guys...but you're in the way," Steve has the audacity to say, sounding genuinely apologetic, when we pass him and if I wasn't incapacitated I'd break his face!

"The hell is wrong with you man!" Sam calls after him, earning himself a punch to the gut from his escorting agents.

"Me?! The hell is wrong with _you_?" He asks in disbelief and I can see it in his eyes before we hit the stairwell and out of sight.

He's serious. He seriously believes he's doing the right thing. This _is_ Steve. I still don't believe Zemo didn't have anything to do with his sudden swing, but _this is Steve_.

Which means Zemo really has the advantage now.

All I can hope for now is that Bucky and Tony can work together at least as well as FRIDAY told me they could.

_Let them be alright...let them be fine_...I pray to nobody in particular before we are injected with enough drugs to put down an elephant and loaded onto an inconspicuous van.

**xxxBuckyBarnesxxx**

 

Tony's still not waking up. FRIDAY keeps assuring me that her scans don't indicate a concussion - which I kinda doubt seeing he must have taken more than one punch to the face - and he's likely to wake up after his body deals with the trauma.

For now Fry guided me through giving him some morphine for the pain, undoubtedly contributing to his unconsciousness, setting his broken right forearm into an impromptu splint and wrapping his ribs in a tight bandage to secure them. I managed to clean the other bruises and cuts to the best of my ability and now all I can do is wait I guess.

Wait and let my brain come up with an idea after idea about how to murder Steve in the most painful way imaginable. Slowly.

I just can't help it. A part of me wants to believe that there must be something behind Steve's awful behavior. That he didn't hurt Tony because he wanted to...or worse... _enjoyed_ doing it. It must have been HYDRA. Someone must have done this to Steve.

The other part of me takes a look at Tony, bruised, battered and unconscious, and wants to squeeze the living crap out of Steve, brainwashed or not.

'I failed to protect him.' is what FRIDAY said.

But really, it's me who failed to do it. I failed to see what Steve's become. He fooled me completely. And then...being the ultimate idiot I stayed away from Tony. Instead of staying _with_ him I left him alone for Steve to do god knows what to him. Natasha called me out on my bullshit, she fucking counted on me to protect him...and I failed that too.

If I went down to the workshop instead of hiding on my floor like a coward...if I was with him when Steve showed up...if I...if I...

I break down into quiet sobs, clutching gently onto Tony's left hand.

How could I fuck up so bad?! Fuck!

" _Bucky_?" FRIDAY's soothing voice comes through the earpiece and I hum weakly to indicate I'm listening. " _Please don't blame yourself for this_ ," she tells me pleadingly.

It only makes me cry harder.

" _There is only one man to blame for this...and it's not you_."

"Says the one who instantly blamed herself back in the workshop," I stutter in between sobs.

She doesn't say anything for a while, probably recalling the conversation. " _It is my primary function to protect my creator_ ," she says in a somewhat emotionless, monotonous voice, so very unlike her usual cheeky one. " _Failing to do so is a cause for great disappointment. It isn't the first time this happened either. HYDRA already managed to get to boss once before. I failed to stop them from kidnapping him then. And I failed to stop the Captain getting to him now. Unlike JARVIS, I seem to be...a constant failure_."

That little statement makes me stop my wailing. The way she said it...she didn't sound jealous of JARVIS. She sounded...self-depreciative. JARVIS's name was uttered like something precious...worthy of every praise. And clearly that is not the way she thinks of herself.

"That's not true," I tell her vehemently.

" _Yes it is. So before you go on about how_ you _should have been in the workshop with the boss and how this is_ your _failure and fault, then I urge you to realize the first line of defense is_ me _. If I hadn't failed, then the Captain would have never gotten into the workshop in the first place and even if he somehow did, the boss could have fought him off with the suit. So please...don't blame yourself for this_."

I sniffle, closing my eyes tiredly. "I won't if you won't."

" _That...that is not how it works_!" she argues, clearly taken aback.

"That is exactly how it works, Fry. You told me the man responsible is not me but Steve...and that's true. And that I shouldn't blame myself for not being there to protect Tony. So if _I_ shouldn't blame myself for that, then neither should you."

She makes a sound that sounds awfully like a scoff. " _Why do you always have to be so difficult..."_ she complains and I chuckle lightly.

"You and I both. So let's leave it at that and focus on what we can do _now_...not on what we could have done if that or if that. It ain't gonna help anything," I say and wow...just a couple of minutes ago I was swallowing myself in guilt and here I am preaching the responsible thing to do. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Fry manipulated me into being the nonmoronic adult here.

" _Alright...because I might have...kept a certain recent development from you..._ ," she confesses, sounding ashamed.

"What?! What do you mean?"

" _The Tower was taken by HYDRA. The Avengers were captured by Baron Zeno and transported somewhere. I suspect some kind of prison_."

"Wh...and you...just forget to mention that?!"

" _I didn't want to distract you from tending to the boss. Besides, it wasn't relevant_."

"It wasn't re...wait, why is it relevant _now_?" I ask, already dreading the answer.

" _I'm afraid my time is up. Their hacking efforts disabled my speakers before I could warn the Avengers of the situation and now they are just few steps away from taking over my programming. It would appear that they know my protocols and schematics...how they got to this information is unknown to me. But we are out of time_."

"We? FRIDAY, just - "

" _Listen to me now_!" She commands and I don't dare disobey. " _There is an emergency care package in the nightstand. Weapons, food, cash, phones, medical supplies too. Take it and leave the safe house. It is only a matter of time now before they come looking for you here_."

"But...where do I go? I don't...I'm sure the Winter Soldier would know what to do but I'm...I can barely recognize this city...I can't even read a bus schedule, that's how useless I am...I need you FRIDAY. I can't - "

" _You_ can _and you_ will _. Let your instincts take over. I know you don't like how unfamiliar it feels, but they are_ your _instincts. You can trust them_."

"They're the Winter Soldier's!"

" _And now they're_ yours _! And I trust you to use them well...just like I trusted the Soldier to. Don't make me regret it now and...get your ass on the move! This...this is a goodbye for now_ ," she stutters and falls silent.

A million questions flood my brain just then so I have to take a moment to calm my racing mind...I'm a man on a mission. I can't afford to lose it now. Not when Tony's safety is at stake. And with the Avengers out of order, it's down to us to figure something out...to help them. And stop HYDRA.

And Steve. We have to stop Steve too.

After all that’s done, I can interrogate the AI about her little slip up just there…she could not have possibly trusted the Soldier’s instincts, because she’d never met him…right? Unless…she had.

I exhale and fall into mission mode. There's no time to waste here so I kick the nightstand drawer open and fish out a black backpack. With a single look inside I confirm it's indeed the care package FRIDAY told me about and put it on my back once I find a handgun and some ammo, securing those behind my belt.

It might be getting dark but this is New York. It's never gonna be dark enough to not look weird walking down the street while casually carrying an obviously injured man bridal style. We need a car.

God I hope the Winter Soldier knew how to steal a car...because all I've ever stolen was a chocolate bar...if you can call it stealing when it's inside your own kitchen larder. Mom was pretty mad though...

I pick Tony up as carefully as I can and abandon the not-so-safe-anymore house. There's a small parking lot attached to the apartment building on the other side of the street so I confidently walk towards it, not drawing any attention to myself from the few passersby.

Once on the lot I spot an old, rusty Ford and take a chance.

All the new cars have these fancy security measures which makes stealing them empty handed like this very difficult. Or at least that’s what my brain tells me. Thanks brain, I guess?

The Ford almost opens itself, that’s how easy it is to get in. Doesn’t look very safe to drive around with, but it will have to do.

Once Tony is comfortably settled into the passenger seat again I do what Fry suggested and let my body do its thing. Couple wires fumbled with and a spark later the car starts up, the engine sound already giving me a headache.

Beggars can’t be choosers though so before anyone can notice, I pull the car out of the lot and turn right, heading for the city exit. I could have gone the same way I got here by turning left instead, which would lead me to one of the main highways but as soon as that thought crosses my mind I get this instant bad feeling, equal to the one I got back in the Tower when Fry didn’t respond.

Before I round the corner I spot exactly why I got it. In my review mirror I can see about four sleek cars – absolutely not fitting into this neighborhood – pull up to the apartment building we’ve exited just minutes ago and what are undoubtedly HYDRA agents rushing into the busted safe house.

FRIDAY was right all around. The safe spots are compromised. But my instincts are most definitely not.

 With a look sideways I check on Tony, who’s so far painfully scrunched up face finally relaxed into just a mild frown, still blissfully unconscious. I don’t know what’s gonna happen now. How are we gonna get out of this situation, free the team, fight off HYDRA or whoever it is behind this scheme. But I know one thing.

I ain’t letting anything happen to Tony. Ever. Again. Because if there’s one feeling I’m very much sure about right now, it’s that one.


	11. Wake me up when this ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Sunday, yay! And the much awaited moment is here :3 Time for our two boys to get some alone time for a while ^^ Next chapter will most likely come up this Wednesday, because I feel like really spoiling you all ^^ You deserve it for your awesomeness! <3
> 
> So thank you all! And please enjoy this little chapter! ^^

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oozQ4yV__Vw&list=PLk09tmeXpLmAnNfcVVq0OeqpWNQfra-Th&index=2)

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

 

I have woken up feeling like crap before. I have even woken up feeling like the Hulk smashed me into a building - which turned out to be accurate - before but I think this is the first time I've woken up and straight up wished I hadn't.

Not because of the pain. The pain is in fact fairly dull and not bothersome at all.

It's the thought of _where_...and _who_ I'm waking up with. Because somehow, the first thing that comes to my mind is that I'm locked up in one of Rogers's murder/rape dungeons which makes waking up the worst possible outcome. Yeah...I'd rather pass on that, thank you very much.

The alternative would be waking up at the Tower's infirmary, but having been there quite often I know how that place smells...and sounds. And this place smells stale and sweaty and is pretty quiet to be a medical place.

Which leaves me with Rogers or whoever the fuck he is and his dungeon. So yeah, no need to open my eyes and find out, better go back to sleep...or just die...either or.

A hand taking mine startles me from my sleepy resolve and I instinctively tense and jerk away. Fuck...I really hoped I was joking about the dungeon but -

"Tony? Can you hear me?"

...that's not Rogers. It can't be...because when the hand hesitantly returns, not in a full grip but just the slightest of contact, it is cool and soothing and _metal_. And neither of those words match Rogers's description.

It's _Bucky_. It's...but how...and where and...

"Tony? Are you with me?" He asks, sounding panicky this time.

That's how I feel too...the dungeon theory might be debunked but if I'm with Bucky then...then...

I crack my eyes open despite how appealing that falling asleep forever plan still is and try to focus in the conveniently dim room. Leaning over me ever so slightly is one worried, tired face of Bucky Barnes and all I can do is sputter an incoherent: "B'ky?"

His mouth twitches in a sad attempt at a smile. "Hey," he rasps out as if he didn't talk for as long as me...however long that was.

I'd take a better look around but that would require me sitting up. Yeah, that's not going to happen. My chest feels like a crumpled tin can, the headache is dull but still bad enough and my right hand is in a sling, probably broken or sprained. That's a definite _no_ to sitting up then. So I clear my throat and ask instead. "Where a' we?"

He sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Huntington, New York. Some dead end motel."

"Uh-huh," I hum in acknowledgement but definitely not in understanding. What the fuck are we doing here?!

"How are you feeling?" he asks carefully. "Is the pain alright?"

"S'fine...how long was I out?"

"About a day?"

Great. One day unconscious and I somehow end up in buttfuck nowhere's motel room with Bucky.

Any other time I'd either laugh or consider it a good start of the evening but there's this pending edge of a panic attack sneaking into my mind just remembering what happened yesterday and judging from Bucky's scared as fuck pale face, things only got worse from there.

I try to question this ridiculous situation but it comes out as a coarse cough instead.

Seconds later there's a cup of water in Bucky's hand, but he's hesitant to break into my personal bubble and help me drink it.

Fuck. Could the two of them be any more freakin' different?! Fucking hell Rogers...fuck...

I tug on his metal hand, still conveniently close to my left and it seems to be an enough invitation to make him help me up into a somewhat sitting position and let me have a sip of the cool liquid. I rest my head against the wooden board and close my eyes, sighing in content.

"Why are we here? The hell happened?" I add when all I get is silence. Which ominously continues for a while so I look at the man and pause. His head is bowed, eyes hidden from sight but it’s his hands that tell the tale. They grip the sheets in a hold so deadly the sheets would go white if they weren't already. "Bucky?"

His eyes snap to mine and the wild mix of emotions in them catches me absolutely off guard.

Anger being the most prominent one. Side by side with guilt. And fear.

"HYDRA took over the Tower," he whispers.

"Wh...say _what_?! HYDRA?! But...oh crap...so _that's_ who molested FRIDAY again...sons of bitches," I curse under my breath wondering how they managed to breach my state of the art security protocols... _again_.

"She's fine...according to her at least. She...helped me out big time."

"That's Fry alright. If they got too far she should be safe in the back-ups. Ain't nobody’s getting to those. So...," I begin as uncertainly as Bucky looks right now. "Are the Avengers in here too?" Oh my god is Steve here?! Did he bullshit his way out of this one as well?!

"No, Tony...they...HYDRA got them. I don't know the details but that's what Fry told me. I was already gone when they got back."

Nonononono...HYDRA can't have them! Wh...how the fuck did they get through Thor?! Better yet the Hulk! What the -

"He's...he's with them, Tony. He's with HYDRA..." Bucky trails off and any other time I'd be mad he's using the pronoun game with me, but this time...this time I know exactly who he's talking about.

Only according to Rumlow, HYDRA's got nothing to do with Rogers...shouldn't trust Rumlow obviously.

"Yeah...you don't say..."

"What happened in the workshop, Tony?" He asks weakly, like he didn't want to ask at all.

"What do you _think_ happened in the workshop?!" I yell at him, regretting it as soon as the guilt intensifies on his face. "Sorry..."

"You've got every right to be angry," he shakes his head and bows it again, hiding his eyes from mine.

"Not at _you_ I don't," I say, determined to make him believe it because I swear to god if he gives me some _it was my fault_ bullshit _again_ I'll lose it! "Unless it was you who decided to use me as a punching bag."

"I should have - "

"I should have done a lot of things! Hell...I'm called a futurist and even I didn't see that coming so drop it...before I'm really gonna get angry."

He sighs and nods ever so slightly. "'s not all he did though is it?"

Now it's my turn to avoid eye contact because this is one conversation I really don't wanna have right now...or ever. Especially not with Bucky.

"Did he...did - "

"He tried," I mumble, implying what he already suspects, trying not to let my mind wander back to it...as if I fucking needed any more nightmare material.

The bed shifts as Bucky gets up and paces to the window. I dare a glance at his tense back, his palms still balled up in shaky fists.

"But he _didn't_ ," I stress but instead of somewhat calming the other man he wildly spins around, knocking the phone and some papers off the dresser with his flesh hand, making me jump.

"But he tried! He _tried_! _Steve_! The...the...," he stutters desperately, angry tears spilling down his face. "The guy who'd stand up to an entire group of bullies three times his size because it was the right thing to do! The Steve who understood what that means! To do the right thing! And now...he's hurting the one person he should cherish and protect and love! He had the fucking guts to cry on my shoulder and apologize and then he went and did the same shit again...and worse! How the fuck is this the lil' guy from before the war?!" He blurts out, ending in gasps and sobs shaking his body. "God, Tony...I...I just..."

"Something's wrong with him," I cut in, gaining his attention. I try to look and sound strong, but it's no good. I'd hope that Bucky is the one person I don't need to pretend to be someone or something I'm not...so I don't. "I asked Rumlow...he was cryptic as usual so you might as well be right. He's with HYDRA...and there are only few ways that could have happened and neither is good. It might not be Steve at all. If HYDRA is involved who knows what freak tech they decided to use now. Point being...we don't know _who_ we're dealing with...so until then...let's just...pretend this is how it is. It's not Steve," I all but beg.

"I...I didn't notice anything...I've known him my whole life and - "

"And that's the problem. He was acting like normal around everyone...but me. Somehow his twisted mind decided I'm the fucking love of his life or something - which was the first red light in my books because we were barely friends let alone... _that_...and then he didn't even go to aunt Peggy's funeral! I mean...the red light might have kept on blinking forever after that for all I care."

Bucky looks stunned just then, staring at me with wide eyes. "Peggy...she was alive?" He asks, which stuns _me_ for a change.

"You...you didn't even know that?! He didn't...what the actual fuck! Yes she was alive and then...couple days before you all moved in she died. She had Alzheimer's and...we knew it wouldn't be long before...but that son of a bitch didn't even show up! All I ever heard from Peggy about Steve was what a great guy he was and how she never met anyone who could compare and...then _this_ shit happens! Not that I was impressed by who I met two years ago...I don't know...the guy they brought from the ice was just not who I expected which is why we never got along...but he really outdid himself this time..." I trail off waiting for Bucky to come out of the shock which still keeps his body frozen but it doesn't happen.

Instead he blurts out a startled: "You were never...you...you never dated?"

Okay. So maybe I really should have stayed asleep. Is this some extra enhanced version of the twilight zone?! "Dated...me and Captain Perfect teeth?! Did he tell you that?!"

"He...strongly implied it," Bucky frowns and slumps against the drawer.

" _Did_ he now?! Son of a...okay, so maybe we had a moment or two...after New York. Nothing serious just a couple talks and...looks...but that was all lost and gone after Project Insight, a party he obviously didn't _trust_ me enough to invite me for. Then Ultron happened...the whole civil war on top of it...at that point I would sooner date Clint than him."

His lips quirk. "That's what Bruce said."

"The man knows me," I smile weakly but it falls as soon as I remember Bruce and the rest of the team are now in HYDRA 's hands who knows where...and in what state. "We have to find the team...help them out...and then we can worry about Rogers."

"Yeah. And we'll do exactly that, but first you gotta rest some more," Bucky instructs, moving unthreateningly back towards me, reaching for the forgotten cup of water.

" _You_ gotta rest," I tell him while handing over the cup.

"I'm fine. Besides, someone needs to stay alert. And I don't need as much sleep anyway," he shrugs and walks away.

"You need _some_ sleep. So wake me up in couple of hours and _I'll_ stay alert," I command and slide down the headboard back into the pillows.

Bucky mumbles something I translate as agreement so when my eyelids collapse and I immediately start drifting off to sleep again I let it happen. The bed dips again, Bucky's comforting presence returning to me and it's all I need to give into the exhaustion, knowing I'm safe and sound.

 

###

 

I'm jerked awake by a gentle but urgent shake.

"Tony? Wake up. We gotta move," Bucky speaks, voice low and...eerily similar to how the Soldier talked in the middle of missions.

The thought alone is enough to fully wake me and allow the other man to sit me up, kneel in front of me and hurriedly put my shoes on for me. I'm not a fucking Disney princess god dammit!

"What's goin' on?" I slur and push his hand away when he reaches around my shoulders to help me stand. "Talk to me, man, you're freakin' me out!"

Bucky sighs, sitting next to me on the foot of the bed.

"Bucky!"

He jumps a little at my harsh tone but still doesn't speak. Just reaches over for the remote and turns the TV on.

" _...behavior was to be expected from the notoriously deadly HYDRA assassin. Captain America admits he didn't see how his best friend's return started the chain of events that changed and fragmented the team from within, becoming the main reason for their shift in allegiance. With the Avengers now in secret supermax governmental prison until their affiliation with HYDRA is determined, the Captain along with the remains of loyal SHIELD agents are the only ones joining the hunt for the runaway HYDRA asset Bucky Barnes, better known as the Winter Soldier, who escaped the Stark Tower before he could have been apprehended and abducted the only loyal member of the Avengers other than Rogers himself - Tony Stark, the Iron Man. Stark could become a dangerous asset at the hands of HYDRA which is why the organization targeted him in the first place so the authorities and Captain America implore the public to be vigilant and report any sightings that might be Barnes. As Stark was reportedly injured, he'd be probably carrying the man around. We advise you not to approach them as Barnes is highly dangerous and most likely armed. Instead, contact this number..."_

I gape at the screen, watching the reporter intently to assure myself she's not high on drugs or insane because the shit that's leaving her mouth is some major Twilight Zone material!

"We can't stay here, chances are the receptionist recognized us and someone's already on their way here," Bucky explains as he turns the TV back off and gets up, eyes still carefully hidden.

"Yeah...let's...let's get outta here," I stutter letting him haul me up this time, stifling the pained groan in favor of focusing my brain on the situation at hand. I wrap my good arm around Bucky's shoulder as he supports my waist and we wobble to the exit.

Bucky grabs a black backpack I recognize as one of the emergency care packages from my safe houses and hangs it over his head. "There's a train leaving for Bohemia in an hour. Should be safe enough. Don't wanna steal any more cars."

"You stole a car?!" I blurt out, staring at him in both shock and wonder...which makes me realize just how close we are right now. Brain please, you're not helping! "Anyway...you're right. Train should be fine."

We sneak out through the fire exit and into the darkness of the streets. I don't know where the station is, but Bucky moves without hesitation so I let him lead us away from the motel.

Every step hurts like a bitch, but I just grit my teeth and breathe through it. I'm slowing us down as it is and the prospect of SHIELD or HYDRA or whoever it is that's after us now is an enough motivation to keep going.  
So the Avengers are suddenly the bad guys, Captain Asshole is the saint as always, Bucky is the face of the devil which makes _me_ the damsel in distress. Fucking hell...did they seriously manipulate the media and the government to believe that shit?! I guess there's still plenty of HYDRA within SHIELD too...again. Fury can't even do spring cleaning right.

And it all makes sense. If Rogers was their inside man, then he could have obtained all the information they needed to get into the Tower, take over and now...now they're spinning tales using Rogers's trustworthy face and the gullibility of the public to get what they want. Their Asset and me - whatever the fuck they want _me_ for.

Trustworthy...trustworthy my ass! I don't care what's Rogers's problem right now, if it's even him, I just wanna break his face! Repeatedly...or watch Bucky do it.

Oh my god and would I love to see that…I am an awful person, aren’t I?

Half an hour later we turn up at the train station, which is quiet as expected. I don't know how late at night it is, but there nobody selling tickets anymore at the window so we can use the computer terminal instead without drawing any attention. There are just a few passengers here anyway, minding their own business.

We wait for the train in an abandoned corner of the station, collapsed on a bench in silence, neither knowing what to talk about. I mean...what is there to say? Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. HYDRA holds greater power than ever before and the only ones capable of putting stop to it are locked up in some kinda prison.

It's stupid and unfair, but I wish the Soldier was still around. He would know what to do. He always knew what to do. Which doesn't mean I'm dissatisfied with my current company because I'm pretty sure I'd be dead or worse - with Steve right now if it wasn't for Bucky. He did everything he could to keep me safe...it's time for me to step up and do the same.

Because if HYDRA and asshole Rogers think I'm gonna let them anywhere near this man after everything they've put him through, they've got another thing coming! Hell, I ain't letting them near me either...yeah! Fuck you very much HYDRA!

When the train finally arrives and we settle into our seats, the tense silence continues. I know for a fact this stubborn idiot is blaming himself for this...as if he planted that sick brain into Rogers's head or something. The whole thing with Rogers must be messing with him big time. It would be with me too if I found Rhodey was working with HYDRA and beating the crap out of his imaginary lover.

Bucky deserves better than to deal with all this shit he barely understands. And to think this all started with one early morning in the workshop with the Soldier storming in requesting maintenance.

I wonder how things would have turned out if that never happened...

"We'll figure this out," I mutter, like a prayer...a plea...wistful thinking.

Bucky doesn't even look like he's listening, just continues to stare out of the window, brows furrowed into a focused expression. Looking for threats.

His Soldier is showing.

I blame it on a temporary moment of hopeless weakness and longing when I shift closer to the man's right side and take his hand into mine. I close my eyes and hold onto him, gently but with enough pressure for the contact to feel grounding...comforting... _loving_.

His fingers twitch uncertainly for a while, but eventually relax and intertwine with mine. As the train starts moving I hear him let out a long, shaky breath and a second later I'm being tucked against his side, his hand sneaking out of our hold and around my shoulders.

I startle at first, but I let him pull me in, placing my head on his shoulder while his head sets lightly on mine. I don't dare look up to see what is going on in his expressive eyes, because this is one spell I'd hate to break. My brain can't scramble a single theory as to why he became so tactile all of a sudden but I'll take it.

Because the last time someone held onto me it was forceful and scary and wrong. And this is gentle, needy and soothing...so I snuggle closer with something that sounds embarrassingly like a whine coming out of my throat. I'd worry about it if my abandoned hand, now resting in Bucky's lap, wasn't enveloped by the cool, solid metal fingers of his left hand. Yeah...I don't need to worry about anything right here, right now.

Like this.

"We'll figure this out," Bucky repeats my earlier statement, his breath flowing through my hair. And it doesn't sound like a plea or just a wistful thinking.

It sounds determined, strong and certain.

So I nod in agreement and finally, after weeks of struggling with reality I come to the simplest of conclusions. James and the Soldier are as much a part of Bucky as Jarvis and Ultron are a part of Vision. He may not realize it yet, definitely not the extent of it, but I can see it in the way he talks and moves and behaves. Erased or not, their remnants stayed behind and Bucky must have stopped shying away from those unfamiliar bits, because I can see them in him now. And I can see _him_ , too.

And I like what I see.


	12. Where you gonna run to?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony consider their options...and what is left of their allies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooohooo, Wednesday ^^ Pheeeew...guys...pssst...guys...I'm so excited! :3 Because the end is approaching ^^ We are looking at seven or eight more chapters...and I'm almost done writing...and the closer I get to the end the more excited I get because wow...just, wow...ehrm...so if you haven't conducted all the necessary sacrifices to the gods and prayers, ensuring to get a certain kinda ending, now's the time :D   
> Next chapter will be a very, very Tony & Bucky chapter :3 Gonna be big, especially for Bucky ^^ ...just something for you to think about till Sunday ^^ For now, please enjoy this new shiny chapter with one particularly surprising appearance ^^
> 
> Thank you all for the feedback, you are so amazing! <3<3<3

**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r57J0jPyZRs&list=PLk09tmeXpLmAKrSuljCO-a_64qTN1K3bJ&index=2) **

 

**xxxNatashaRomanovxxx**

 

"I suppose you'll be just as uncooperative as always?" Zemo sings, face plastered against the glass of my cell.

"You still haven't caught them," I smirk, deducing that's the only reason Zemo graced us with his presence again. "And you won't. They're too good."

He laughs humorlessly. "Yes. I wouldn't expect any less from HYDRA's most efficient weapon and the brain of the Avengers. But it's only a matter of time before they slip up...and the good Captain will bring them in."

I flinch at the mention of Steve.

"You are still wondering aren't you? About your star-spangled leader and his...state of mind."

Hell yes I'm wondering about that. I'm not going to admit it to Zemo though.

"What if I told you there is nothing to say about it. What if I told you I didn't have to do anything particularly drastic. No brainwashing, no programming, no mind-controlling magic tricks...what if I told you this _is_ the Steve Rogers you've always known."

"I'd tell you you're a liar."

He chuckles, this time very much amused. "And you'd be wrong. I...did something, yes. But the Captain did most of it by himself. I was really surprised as well, to be honest. How well it worked. Just a little nudge from me and the Captain embraced his truest nature...it's amazing. You know why?" He asks me with a grin I instantly dislike. "Because if this was just a programming, like the Winter Soldier, it would be fragile...breakable...erasable. Changeable, even. None of which would serve my purposes very well. No...what I managed here with your dearest Captain is something more...permanent. I know what is going through all of your heads," he addresses the entire cell block where all the rest of the Avengers are being held.

"Thousand ways to slowly kill you?" Sam asks, seemingly not paying attention from where he's sitting in the corner of his cell opposite of mine.

"That...and how you're going to get out of here and then appeal to Rogers's humanity and who knows what else to get him back. Well spoiler alert? You can't."

"Sorry if we won't take your word for it," Clint snarks back, making Zemo grin even wider.

"Then don't. I'll have a blast when the realization finally dawns on your faces one day...and I'll be there to say I told you so."

"Go to hell, Zemo," I spit at him.

"The longer they are on the run, the longer Tony's in danger," a voice we all recognize comes in and soon Steve is standing there with Zemo, all calm and composed.

"Mr. Barnes is not dangerous," Vision says, voice strained. I can't see into his cell, but I can imagine he is one of the extra restrained persons in here.

"And that's why you're all here. Because you don’t understand!" Steve says urgently. "Also because Ross was right... _you_ are dangerous too. You no longer listen to reason...or orders. And that makes you volatile," he explains, making as much sense as a hole in a bucket. "You're better off in here. For your safety, and the world's safety too."

"You can't believe that for a second!" Sam shouts at him. "You're being...manipulated by this son of a bitch!"

"No," Steve replies and once again I can tell he's serious. "It's you...you're the ones unable to see the truth. Bucky deceived us all. And now Tony will pay the price unless we find them. Soon. So if any of you have a clue about where they might have gone, I urge you to tell me," he says in a pleading voice that makes me cringe. "Make me believe you...make me believe you're still not beyond salvation."

A tense silence settles in the cell block, only broken by Steve's disappointed sigh.

"Don't worry, Captain. We will find them soon enough. And so we will both get what we want. That's all he really wants, you know?" Zemo addresses us. "Tony Stark. I thought his desires would be more...ambitious. World domination or something but no...all he wants is Tony Stark. How cute. And I will make that happen for you," he tells Steve. "As long as I get our badly behaved Asset back, you can do whatever you want with Stark. And oh...does he have plans for him..." he winks at me, eyes dark.

"This is your last chance," Steve says, watching us with his Captain face. "Help us...or be damned," he sighs again and walks toward the exit. "You have until tomorrow."

"Well then...you've heard the Captain, kids. Tomorrow. Or...I'm sure I'll find some use for you. One. By. One," Zemo laughs and follows Steve out of the cell block.

"Jesus...did you hear that?!" Clint yells. "Did you hear him? He's like a completely different person!"

"No... he's not," Wanda says quietly. It's the first time in the entire week we've been here she spoke. "What if Zemo said the truth. What if this is really him...just..." she trails off.

"No way!" Sam replies. "Steve's nothing like this!"

"Says the man who's only known him for half a year," she argued.

"Yeah, and you even less!"

"I've been inside his head!" Wanda yells back, voice cracking. "I've...seen things...things Zemo mentioned. Desires. Wishes. Longings. Yours...and his...they seemed harmless enough. But they are part of his darker side...a part of him he never showed because he controlled it. But if Zemo somehow made him lose that control and let his desires take over, then he is right. The man is still Steve Rogers. He's just the Steve Rogers we haven't met yet."

"How did he do it though?" Clint asks when nobody speaks for a while.

"Better question is, is there a way to _undo_ it?" I retort and the cell block once again falls into silence.

If Zemo was telling the truth and this is permanent…this is who Steve is going to be now...forever...then we have to stop him.

One way or another.

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

 

" _Tony! Oh thank God! Are you alright? Are you hurt? What happened?! Did Barnes hurt you?! I'm gonna murder him! Where are you_?"

"Pep, calm down, please...I've got a head ache the size of Jupiter right now," I frown at the Stark phone while Pepper tones down her questioning. "I'm with Bucky and I'm fine...kinda..."

" _You're with_ him _?! But_ \- "

"Steve's with HYDRA, Pep!" I cut in. "He...he attacked me in the workshop, kicked my ass...I kicked his...tldr Bucky and I hit the road before HYDRA could get us," I sum up for her, leaving her a moment to process the news.

" _So...what they said in the_ \- "

"Is all major bullshit. Avengers are not with HYDRA...well...Steve is...and Bucky is most definitely _not_. They're after us which is why they spread that story...and they're fooling everyone with it."

She curses and I can almost imagine her furious face. " _That son of a bitch...alright, I'm putting my sharpest heels on and taking the Tower by storm! Happy! Get the jet ready right now_!"

"Pep...Pepper! Don't...just don't."

" _But_ \- "

"No buts...listen. I'm fine - we're fine! And we're going to set the Avengers free and sort this out!"

" _Good, I'm gonna help you. Happy! Where's my jet_?!"

I bow my head with an amused sigh, shooting the so far curiously observing Bucky a small smile. "Pepper, light of my life, you are terrifying...and I love it, really. But I'm serious...don't. We need some time to...recuperate and devise a plan and until then you'd only get in trouble on this side of the globe. Stay in Japan...for now," I add before she can argue about it further.

She huffs. " _Fine! Happy! Cancel the jet! I swear to God Tony if you don't call me every day I will murder you right after Steve! And you better give me heads up on that plan of yours so I know how to suit up and when_!"

"Of course, Pep. I will, I promise."

" _Good. Now give me that Winter Wonder guy_!"

I cringe, handing the phone to Bucky with an apologetic look.

He takes it with appropriately terrified face and chokes out a simple: "Hello?"

He listens, muttering a yes or a no every now and then, expression neutral. Pepper must be giving him her patented scary talk about how she'll shove her heels into his eyes and feed them to him.

God knows I love this woman.

When he hangs up and puts the phone back into my hands he breathes out in relief. "I finally understand all the rumors...about Miss Potts."

"Ahhh, rumors huh. What did Rhodey tell you?"

"That her and Natasha are the scariest women alive. And they could kill me with their shoes."

I burst out laughing, holding onto my bruised ribs. "Uh, yeah. Believe every word of that," I squeeze out between chuckles and lean back into the relatively comfy armchair.

It's the fifth motel room that I remember, one week after I woke up in the first. And what a week it has been.

I've spent most of it half asleep, while Bucky took the lead and maneuvered us around, evading police, curious civilians, SHIELD, HYDRA and most importantly Steve. We only move at night because no matter how homeless we both look right about now, we would be recognized within minutes in any larger crowds of people.

With the fanatic propaganda in the news, everyone is on the hunt. When Captain America himself begs the public for help I can't be too surprised that everyone's patriotism doubled overnight and they're now vigorously trying to help with the search. _Everyone_.

We had to ditch the last motel and skip town after a harmless looking granny recognized Bucky. A granny. Like a thousand years old one.

Nobody is immune to Steve's deceptive charm, I'm afraid. So here we are, looking over our shoulders all the time.

The situation is awful...but at least I'm with Bucky. _Sitting on a tree holding hands_...I can almost hear Rhodey sing that. So maybe the holding hands part became a thing, a small bit of comfort every now and then. We don't comment on it, let alone talk about it...it just happens when one of us feels the need to do it. And I sure as hell won't complain about it. It will take a thousand of Bucky's gentle holds to erase Steve's forceful one.

If that can be erased at all.

The smile slips off my face the instant my mind wonders back to the workshop and it doesn't go unnoticed.

"Stop thinking so much," he sighs.

"Easy for you to say, Mr. One Metal Hand army. I'm the brain of the operation...thinking is kinda what I do."

"Penny for your thoughts then?"

I eye him wearily, knowing he's not eating any of my bullshit. "This can't go on."

"This...?" He asks uncertainly.

"Yeah. This. Us running around like hunted boars," I explain.

"It's either run or get caught."

"Or...we find a place we can stay without worrying about getting caught," I offer but Bucky shakes his head.

"Unless you can shoot us to the Moon I'm not sure what place you've got in mind. Every place we've stayed at was sooner or later stormed by SHIELD or worse, HYDRA."

"I'm not thinking motels...I'm thinking..." What the hell am I thinking?! "A house...of someone we can trust."

He raises his eyebrows at me, an action made more prominent since he cut his hair. "Well, you're the only person I can trust right now and the last time I checked all your houses were off limits."

Oh. The only person he can trust huh? When did that happen? "I...might know a place...know someone..."

"Someone you can trust to take in a top dangerous HYDRA assassin and a kidnapped genius billionaire?"

"Playboy philanthropist..."

"Right, that," he rolls his eyes, lips quirking in amusement.

"Mayyyyyybeeeee?" I chant, thinking real hard about this option. I thought about the farm... but there's no way I'd bother Clint's family with something like this. They must surely have plenty to worry about as is. There is someone else we could go to. But saying I trust this person is a huge stretch...I barely know the guy.

Okay, so I met him like...once. I know some things about him. Definitely not enough to warrant trust. If we're to do this though...we could use his help. In more ways than one.

"I don't trust him, no," I tell Bucky when I spot his expectant expression. "Not yet anyway...but I think I might. I think _we_ might."

He doesn't look convinced. Probably because I don't look convinced either. But I really think it's our best shot.

"Alright...but the guy tries something funny and I'll level him with the ground," he threatens in a growly voice I recognize as his 'serious all bets are off' voice.

"Uh...about that...you might not wanna pick a fight with him. He doesn't look like it...but he'd probably be leveling _you_ with the ground. You'll see," I warn him and we spend the rest of the day resting and planning our nightly journey.

###

We took the midnight train to New York and after a silent ride in the subway we got to where we needed. A quiet apartment buildings block in Queens. Not the greatest neighborhood, but some people gotta make due.

I lead Bucky to one of the buildings and onto the third floor...well, lead is probably not the word. I give him directions while he half drags me there.  
"You sure about this?" He asks me, when I stop us in front of the door at the very end of the corridor and I shake my head.

"Nope. But we're out of options so...fingers crossed," I say and ring the bell. Bucky gives me a weird look - the one Soldier used when he didn’t understand something...which was very often.

"Fingers crossed?"

"It's uh...long story...just... _pray_ this is gonna work. Given my track record...praying might not be enough."

The doors swings open revealing a sleepy teenager. "’nt May?" He mumbles. "Sh'dn't you be on n't shift?"

"She probably is...unlike the very distant fake uncle Stark. Thought it'd be best if she wasn't around for this," I speak to the young man, watching his sleepy face sharpen, eyes going wide.

"Mister Stark?!" He blurts out, glancing between me and Bucky. "And uh...um...wait...so..."

"Listen kid, would you mind letting us in? We'll explain everything...I'd just rather do it inside."

"Right! Of course! Inside...um...," he gives Bucky a suspicious stare and leans toward me inconspicuously. "Is he...?"

I roll my eyes and turn to Bucky. "Bucky - most definitely not an evil HYDRA kidnapper - Barnes, Peter Parker," I gesture between the two and they eye each other wearily.

"Hi," Bucky sputters eloquently, waving his metal fingers at the boy.

Peter's gaze lingers on the metal hand with wonder. "Dude! You really got a metal arm?! That is _so_ cool!"

"Peter!" I gain his attention again and point inside the apartment.

"Oh! Yeah, come on in Mister Stark! Mister Barnes...or is it Sergeant? What do you prefer? You hungry? Or something?" He starts babbling while we leave the dodgy corridor in favor of entering the small living room.

"Relax, kid. All we need is a place to stay for a while. Somewhere nobody will look for us," I tell him, stopping his flailing.

"Ah, I see! Well, you're welcomed to stay here of course, I'm sure aunt May won't mind...once you explain to her that we are not housing a HYDRA assassin slash kidnapper. Uh...right?" He squints at Bucky, still suspicious.

"Forget everything you might have heard on the news, Peter. Nothing is true. Well...the Avengers are in prison and the two of us are on the run...but the rest is bullshit. And Steve's in on it."

"Captain America?! Like, for real?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" I humor him and all but collapse into the armchair.

"You look like crap...no offense Mister Stark," he blurts out. God I love this kid's lack of a brain to mouth filter. Kinda reminds me of myself. "So...is HYDRA behind this then?"

"That's what we think," Bucky chimes in, still standing cautiously between us and the door. "The last time we were in the Tower it was swarming with their agents, so if HYDRA's not behind it, it is at least in on it."

"And Captain Cmerica is working with them? Why would he do that?! I know you told me he was a bit...you know...off...during the whole government business but this is a bit of a jump, right? Being _off_ and being _off with_ HYDRA," Peter muses, plopping down onto the sofa with a sleepy yawn.

"Yeah, tell us about it. We don't know what his problem is...yet...but we plan on finding out soon enough," I exchange a determined look with Bucky and Peter perks up.

"Ooooooooh that sounds like a plan! I'm in!"

"You don't even know the plan yet," Bucky frowns.

"Doesn't matter, I'm in! What?" He asks when he spots my scolding expression. "You asked me for help before...it didn't come to a fight back then but sounds like this time is different. I can help, you know that I can!"

"I know that, yes...but you're right. This time it's different. It's HYDRA and Steve...and since Fury ditched his brain into a trash can, SHIELD too. It's just us against all of them...that's not gonna be easy no matter how clever a plan we'll come up with," I explain further.

"Exactly! So you need all the help you can get! I'm in!" He decides.

"No offense kid...but how can you help us? What are you, seventeen?" Bucky asks carefully.

Peter gives him a cute glare and turns to me. "He doesn't know, huh?"

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone!" I raise my hands defensively.

"Right! Well, Mister Barnes - "

"Bucky," he corrects him.

"Well, Mister Bucky, I'll have you know I can help...like a lot. You'll see! Don't have to worry about me, just tell me what to do and I'll get right on it!" Peter hurls out excitedly, making Bucky chuckle.

"I like him," he decides and finally abandons his creepy bodyguard posture and sits down next to Peter on the sofa.

"Uh uh, don't be deceived...this kid's all cute and - "

"I'm not cute!"

" - and nerdy but in reality he's a couple weapon upgrades away from being able to take over the world. Singlehandedly."

"Yeah! That's right!" He agrees with me, grinning. "Wait, what do you mean weapon upgrades? I've upgraded them! They're perfect!"

"Sure thing, kiddo. Anyway... it's too early in the morning to devise battle strategies. We could use some sleep."

"Sleep! Right! You can have my room, I'll take the sofa so I can intercept aunt May and explain everything...before she finds the two of you and calls the cops."

"She might still do that," I warn him but he shakes his head.

"No way! She's cool! She'll understand...besides...she's a fan of yours," he whispers to me.

I grin. "Everybody's a fan of me, kid. I'm used to it. So...if it's okay with you, I'm going to sleep," I grunt as I stand up and wobble towards Peter's bedroom.

"I'll take the first watch," Bucky informs us and moves towards the door.

"Yeah, no. Spidey here will have a great view of the door, so nothing will slip past him. That right, kid?"

"Exactly! Go to sleep Mister Bucky, I've got this watch business covered!" Peter exclaims and waves a salute at Bucky, who rolls his eyes and heads for the bedroom door too.

"Alright then," he mumbles, casting a curious glance at the grinning teenager. "Cool kid," he tells me once we're inside and the door closed.

"You have no idea. Smart too...gotta watch this one. Wouldn't want him on HYDRA's side..." Like Steve. I don’t have to say that out loud. Judging from Bucky's cringe he thought the same thing.

He clears his throat and collapses onto a red and blue bean bag in the corner. "Take the bed," he all but orders and closes his eyes, getting comfortable.

" _You_ take the bed. I've been taking the bed for a week!"

"So?" He cracks an eye open adorably.

"So it's your turn!"

"I'm fine right here," he closes the eye and turns away.

"I would be too, you know."

"You're hurt."

"And healing! I can skip the bed for one night."

"Not gonna be this night though."

"Get your ass in the bed, Barnes!"

He snores obnoxiously and doesn't move an inch.

"You're impossible," I mutter and crawl into the small bed. "I'd offer you to squeeze in, but since you snore this loudly you better stay over there. You'd drool all over the place!"

He chuckles and I see him get up, dragging the bean bag to the side of the bed, settling back down with his head and arms now resting on the bed facing away from me. "Better?"

"Pffft...just don't drool," I huff and bury my head into the pillows to hide my smile.

"G'night Tony," he whispers, amusement apparent in his low voice.

"Night," I breathe out, letting my hand wander to where his head is now laying on his arms. Not touching, just close enough to feel he's there.

He snorts into his sleeve and moves his flesh arm to mine, our fingers gently brushing.

So the situation sucks major balls. But this...I'm getting used to this. A part of me wants to be afraid that once the day is saved everything will go back to normal...which in our case was avoiding each other. The hopeless romantic part of me ditches the fear in favor of enjoying this while it lasts.

Now if only I could get Steve's foul face outta my head to really enjoy this...maybe even talk about this...but nope. The fucker decides to pay a visit in every single nightmare I have, which makes forgetting about what happened kinda hard. It makes falling asleep kinda hard.

But with Bucky, a strong and steady presence next to me, I feel brave enough to face all the nightmares my broken mind conjures up.


	13. Never said goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things can't be forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Here comes the Sun...day ~ and this little darling chapter is here to make some of the angst go away and light the beacons of hope like we're trying to call for help all the way from across Gondor to Rohan :D Oh and did I say there's gonna be no Steve? 
> 
> ...I lied :D
> 
> Thank you all so much for your lovely comments, kudos and bookmarks and I hope you'll like this ^^ Also, next chapter will be up Wednesday! <3

**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldPGiFtps1Y&index=1&list=PLk09tmeXpLmCrnJrzQapwecJ5yIHZnR01) **

 

**xxxBuckyBarnesxxx**

 

The breakfast is as awkward as it gets. Peter did intercept his aunt when she returned from her job and explained the situation to her...and she didn't call the police. But that doesn't make it any less weird.

I offered to cook, which earned me some plus points I guess but she is still looking suspicious.

"I'm off to school," Peter announces after swallowing an entire plate of eggs in one go. "Gonna be back in the afternoon." He stops by the door and stares at us pointedly. "You better still be here," he warns and bolts outside.

Aunt May clears her throat and pierces Tony with a sharp glare, much like the one Natasha uses. "So...what kind of trouble are you trying to pull my teenage nephew into?"

For a moment I think Tony will lie to her...come up with some clever story to evade the truth and blindside the sleepy woman but he doesn't. "We need his help...so we can rescue the Avengers."

She doesn't look convinced. "What kind of help?! He's just a boy!"

"Yes...that he is. A very smart and talented one," Tony continues.

"I know that."

"Good. Because he's got the potential to become...to become someone his parents would be very proud of. Someone _you_ could be very proud of. And I'm being honest with you here," he blurts out hurriedly when she looks ready to argue. "It will be dangerous. And in no way would I want to put him in that danger's way but...frankly...he's the only person we've got right now. Me and Bucky can only do so much when it comes to it. We really need his help."

She sighs into her tea and stays silent for a while. "I promised I will keep him safe. That I will protect him. And now you want to drag him off to do something dangerous...what am I supposed to tell you?"

Tony shrugs. "Tell me 'you better watch over him and make sure nothing happens to him or I'm gonna rip you apart, Stark!' then glare menacingly at Bucky to tell him the same thing so we can assure you that that's exactly what we're gonna do. We won't let anything happen to him. I swear it."

She downs the tea and gives me what I would definitely describe as a menacing glare. I nod resolutely, hoping she can read the message. "He looked determined to help you. Even if I told him to stay away from this...he'd sneak out of the window somehow and help you anyway. So you better watch over him or I will rip you both to shreds!" She threatens and stands up. "Now, I'm going to go to sleep so if you wouldn't mind keeping the noise pollution on the low, I'd be grateful. A dinner would be nice too," she winks at me - making Tony squint at her adorably - and leaves the kitchen.

I fill Tony's empty cup of coffee with the freshly brewed beverage and then start gathering the dishes into the washer. Did the Winter Soldier do dishes for HYDRA? Because working the dishwasher is about a thousandth thing I do automatically and can't explain how.

Well...I think I can explain it...it's just...

I switch the dishwasher on, turn around and with a sigh lean against it, staring into the ground in thought. "Can I ask you something, Tony?" I find myself saying, looking up curiously.

He sips on his coffee and nods. "Sure. Ask away."

"Will you...will you answer me honestly though? No matter what I ask?" I add and watch him frown and lean back into the chair.

"Of course! Any reason why I wouldn't?" He asks, sounding offended.

"No? I don't know...I'm just guessing there's a reason you haven't told me yet..."

"Told you what?" He folds his arms over his chest and quirks an expectant eyebrow at me.

I match his daring expression with my own and decide to go for it. "Have we met? Before that day in the Avengers HQ...have we met before that?"

Tony freezes, eyes flashing with a mixture of fear and panic. Not the reaction I was expecting. "Why would you think we've met before?" He chokes out and it might as well be an answer.

I mimic his defensive stance, folding my arms and frowning at him. "You're answering my question with a question? Seriously?"

He at least has the decency to look ashamed. "Right...sorry," he mumbles, staring into the coffee cup. "Yes," he whispers.

"Yes what?" I ask, confused.

"Yes we've met before," he breathes out so silently I have to strain my enhanced hearing to catch it.

I take a sharp inhale, eyes growing wide. I suspected this...hell, the way he evaded the answer just seconds ago confirmed those suspicions...but hearing it loud and clear from Tony in person just made it real. Real enough to shock me into momentary silence.

Tony peaks at me fearfully, head still bowed. "Go on...you've got questions. Shoot," he says a bit louder, but sounds utterly defeated.

Sitting back down, this time opposite instead of next to him, I stare at Tony blankly, wishing he would look at me. "When?"

"Right after Project Insight. So over a half a year ago," he answers instantly.

"Over a half a year ago...," I repeat stoically. "That's a long time, Tony."

"Uh hm," he hums.

"Tell me about it...tell me what happened," I plead but he looks determined to stay silent. "I...I suspected for a while now. The dreams...they were getting stranger and stranger with every passing night. I'd do things that I knew for sure I shouldn't know _how_ to do...like using the coffee machine, the dishwasher...I fought Natasha off with moves I've never seen before, I've stolen a car!" I list the strange occurrences with a lopsided smile. "After that nightmare...I hit the elevator button to the workshop not by mistake...I just did it without thinking about it. Because it _felt right_. A lot of things felt right...and I wouldn't understand why. Not until FRIDAY hinted that she knew the Winter Soldier. Knew him enough to _trust_ him. Not until I unpacked the emergency care package and recognized the gun and the phone. They're the same design as the ones I've had on me in that warehouse I woke up in... _your_ design. I couldn't figure out how you managed to disable my arm back when we fought...until I started to play with the possibility that you got your hands on it at some point in the past and installed the disabling thing. So I started putting it all together, one broken piece of a distant memory and feeling at a time. It fits. All of it. I just...I just _can't actually remember_."

Tony sighs, smiling sadly. "Yeah...well...in a way it's for the best. The things HYDRA did to you...I'm glad you don't remember that. Reading about it was gruesome enough, I can’t imagine what remembering must have been like. But...it's a shame you don't remember the Soldier," he says uncertainly.

"What happened Tony?" I try again, this time earning a contemplative look from the engineer.

"Project Insight was a bust for HYDRA in more than one way," he starts, playing with the coffee cup absentmindedly. "When they ordered the Soldier to kill Captain America they unknowingly triggered a top priority mission...Project Wings. That's how they kept you at bay...they locked your memories away to allow the programming to operate without being affected by you. Project Wings was designed to bring you back," he says and suddenly breaks into a grin. "It was also designed so it never happens."

"Is that why the Winter Soldier spent half a year killing HYDRA?" I ask, recalling the reports and remembering the dead agents in the warehouse.

Tony nods. "Those were the triggers, to make you remember. And...that's how we met. I mean...me and the Soldier met first. He uh...chose me as the Handler for the mission. Don't ask me why, I never figured that out. So I indulged him for a while...killing HYDRA sounded like a great idea so I thought why the hell not. And once he killed over a dozen of the targets, I met you," he looks at me but frowns. "Well...not _you_...but kinda you. I met _James_...the you who only remembered bits and pieces from before and after the war. The you who coexisted with the Soldier in the strangest of symbioses."

"Coexisted? As in...the Winter Soldier was..."

"His own person, yeah. And I say person because...because I'd call FRIDAY a person too. The Soldier was just a program but...I witnessed him evolving into something more than that. More than just a mindless weapon HYDRA would send to do their dirty work for them. He was...he was special," he finishes, unshed tears sparkling in those hazel eyes.

"I see...so I started remembering...and then..."

"And then the mission came to an end neither of us expected. I didn't know about the final part of it until...until it was too late. If the Soldier didn't finish the mission in time, it would reset itself. Meaning you'd get locked away again and he would be back to his default setting. So he...he finished it," he sighed avoiding my searching eyes again. "The Soldier and James disappeared but Project Wings was a success."

"It brought me back..."

"Yes."

"But you lost two friends in the process," I say out loud what I imagine he must have left unsaid.

He stares at me with the most vulnerable expression I've ever seen on anyone's face. "One...the other came back around," he says with a small smile I return immediately.

Wait...so me and Tony...and the Soldier spent half a year hunting down HYDRA all around the world and Steve had no idea?

Tony grimaces, giving me a knowing look. "You didn't wanna tell Steve until you had all your memories back. The way he was...hell-bent on bringing you back...not the Soldier but _you_...we all thought it was a good idea. Which didn't stop you from feeling like shit about it."

"Oh...and I suspect the whole HYDRA kidnapping thing...that was my fault too, wasn't it?"

He glares at me this time. "That was Madame Hydra's fault. And mine...it was around the time JARVIS was gone and FRIDAY was a newborn baby...whose distressed daddy neglected her security protocols and allowed HYDRA to break in and take us."

"We got out though."

"Obviously," he smirks. "And we did it in quite the spectacular manner."

"Of course we did," I chuckle and at last, after such a long time I understand. Somewhat...but the things I remember...the things I feel are no longer a big unknown.

I take a breath to ask the one thing I really wanted to know this whole time. Now that all my thoughts were confirmed this...this is what remains to be solved. I need to confirm this. I need to know I wasn't imagining this.

I open my mouth but no words come out. What if...what if this is not something Tony was aware of. Just...something _I_ felt and never acted on. Or it might not have been me at all...it might have been the Soldier.

 

Maybe broaching this subject right now is not the best idea...in the middle of a HYDRA conspiracy and...after what Steve did...maybe I should wait. After all, Natasha promised me a hint. And FRIDAY and Vision owe me one too for not telling me about this sooner. I'm not mad or anything...I understand it must have been hard for them. But now that I know, they better tell me the whole truth.

Because looking at Tony...observing him throughout our times together...especially as of late...I know there's more to that half a year than what he admitted. I might just be a hopeless fool in love but that's what I want to believe right now.

Ah crap...alright...there. I said it. A fool in love. _In love_. With _Tony_. Who I met just over a month ago. Well...technically over seven months ago. And fell in love with him.

So as I'm sitting here realizing all this, staring agape at Tony, who's already giving me a weird look, I can't help but mentally slap myself.

I should win the award for the worst timing ever.

"So...now that that's out in the open...we should focus on that plan. The kid will berate us if we don't come up with at least five scenarios and create an interactive presentation for all of them,” he breaks the silence and waits for an answer expectantly.

The plan...sure. We can do that. "We've beaten HYDRA once or twice...or a hundred times before. Pffft...this? Piece of cake for us, right?"

He chuckles and gives me the most brilliant smile. I want to see that smile more often. Or forever. Yeah...forever sounds good.

 

**xxxSteveRogersxxx**

 

They didn't talk. Why...why wouldn't they tell me?! Either they really don't know where they could have gone or they aren't telling me on purpose. It's so...confusing. And frustrating!

"Looks like the Avengers are proving as useless as I told you they would," Rumlow tells Zemo and sips on the expensive scotch, his mask shed revealing his mutilated face.

"They never played a part in my plan to begin with. This...development pleases me of course. With them behind bars they can't breach, the world is once again my oyster. And HYDRA's. But that's where their role ends," Zemo comments from behind his wooden desk, pouring more scotch in our glasses.

"Really? You perfected Zola's research. I'd think you would put it to good use. Why be satisfied with one Avenger on our side if you could have them all?"

"I like the Avengers exactly where they are. I'd prefer them dead!" Zemo sputters, voice full of anger and...something else. "For now, they will play their parts and take responsibility for their actions. Which is appropriate, wouldn't you say, Captain?"

"Yes. It is," I confirm. "Everyone should be responsible for their actions. We are no exception."

"Jesus fuck...," Rumlow mutters watching me in shock. "Never thought I'd see Steve Rogers agreeing with HYDRA. Am I on drugs?"

Zemo laughs and downs the shot. "Isn't it incredible? You know...I was hoping the civil war thing would solve my problems for me. I'd let the Avengers rip each other apart but since Stark so cleverly put a stop to that I had to act fast. If I knew the good Captain would serve my purpose this perfectly I would have done it months ago."

"Well played...but there's still the question of our runaway Asset and the ever so dangerous genius. Madame Hydra underestimated the two of them before and instead of gaining two assets she lost two prisoners and had her base blown up."

"Before? What do you mean _before_?" I frown at Rumlow, Zemo watching him suspiciously as well.

"We captured them both. From the looks of it, the Winter Soldier and Stark were working together during the unfortunate HYDRA hunt of 2015. What...you didn't know?" He leers at me and the only reason I'm not beating the living soul out of him is Zemo's watchful eye.

No...I didn't know that. So...Tony had Bucky this entire time?! I've spent the past half a year looking for him everywhere and he was _right there_ under our noses?! What's worse, he was _with Tony_! And he didn't even tell me...

"Ohhh, I smell trouble in paradise," Zemo sings exchanging a curious look with Rumlow.

"Tsk...how many fucking boyfriends does Stark have?!" Rumlow scoffs and he's being sarcastic, I know that...but it still gets to me.

"Shut up!" I growl at him dangerously.

"Watch it, Crossbones. The Captain takes any business regarding Tony Stark very personally. Turns out that's his deepest and darkest desire."

"Interesting...anyway, if you give me what we've discussed I think I could find the two quite easily," Rumlow continues, deciding to ignore me.

"The workshop is off limits. My hackers are telling me that before they could finish the job the AI initiated some sort of last resort security measure. It's gone dormant and the whole place is rigged with passwords and literal explosives. One wrong code and the place goes up in flames."

He shrugs. "Stark doesn't like other people molesting his tech. HYDRA least of all. Whatever...I'll make due. Just stay out of my way," he turns to me. "You may be playing nice and all but...we've got unfinished business, remember? If you cross my way I will cross your bones, one by one."

Zemo snickers, shaking his head. "You will _cross his bones_? Seriously Rumlow? Please don't joke again...ever."

Rumlow just rolls his eyes and with a fierce glare my way he gets up to leave the office.

"Just remember Stark is mine," I remind him before he disappears in the exit.

"And Bucky?" Zemo asks curiously. "Your best friend, old war buddy Bucky Barnes? You know what I have planned for him. I told you all about it. Are you really okay with me doing all that to someone you would...how did you say it...go to the end of the line for?"

My face hardens...this is none of Zemo's business. My reasons are my own. "He betrayed me," I answer anyway.

"So did Stark, apparently," he points out.

"And I'll make sure to...punish him for it. I'm leaving that part for you to handle when it comes to Bu...Barnes. I'm sure you won't disappoint me," I add and head for the door as well. This conversation is over.

"I have to say...I don’t envy your teammates....former teammates. I don't recognize you either," he admits, more to himself than me.

"What is going to happen to them now?" I inquire over my shoulder nonchalantly.

"There's going to be a trial. And if they're found guilty, they will receive a sentence...appropriate to their misgivings of course."

I nod and leave. I warned them. I urged them to reconsider their position... but in the end, they betrayed me too. Looks like the only person I can trust is still me. I was a fool to think they could be...my friends. I was a fool to think Bucky could still be my friend...no...they're all lost to me.

And Tony...I hope there's still a chance for Tony...because if there isn't...then he's lost to me too. It will break my heart...but he'll have to be dealt with.


	14. A woman scorned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A helping hand is given from the most unlikely source.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovelies, it's Wednesday and as I might have mentioned somewhere, since I'm quite ahead in the story I will be posting every Wednesday from now on! ^^ So here we go!
> 
> But before we go, let me just give you a friendly warning that from now on I will be shamelessly using some things from the CA:CW movie. I don't think they are too spoilery, as most are just bits of (misused I might add) dialogue - pretty much from the trailers too - like I've already done in the past...but let's say plotwise some things will resonate with the movie. Again, not in a spoiler kinda way - or so I think ;D Here's the warning anyway :3
> 
> As for this chapter...I think we have forgotten one major player in this game. Just because they haven't shown themselves doesn't mean they are out :3 And as it happens, here they come ^^ Hope you'll enjoy this little twist <3
> 
> Thank you all for the feedback, you are literally blowing my mind! ^^ And I'm making it my mission to blow yours! <3 Starting right here right now :3 
> 
> Approximately six more chapters to go! O.o

**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9XN14PCJaw&index=3&list=PLk09tmeXpLmAfeLE8KtQrpEWhLEEXgAui) **

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

 

"You gotta see this!" Peter exclaims, barging into the bedroom.

I jump at the sudden noise, Bucky instinctively reaching for his gun. We exchange a worried look and follow the flailing teenager into the living room. Today was a roller-coaster of emotions for me…with Bucky pretty much ambushing me with his enlightening suspicions that I couldn’t really lie to him about…yeah, I could use a calm evening, thank you very much. But judging by Peter’s alarmed expression, that’s not gonna happen.

Aunt May left an hour ago to her job and Peter headed out to work on a group project with his mates as soon as he returned from school. Looks like group project was not the only thing on his mind.

He turns the TV on and points accusingly at the news channel.

" _...of Wakanda had been assassinated by the internationally wanted criminal James Buchanan Barnes, known as the Winter Soldier. The king was shot during his speech in Washington just one hour ago and witnesses along with security cameras confirm Barnes's presence on the crime scene. He's been spotted running away from the building the shot came from and where the rifle had also been found..."_

A number of CCTV pictures and video footage flood the screen and with a shocked gasp I realize the man is undoubtedly Bucky. Well, he _looks_ undoubtedly like Bucky, but since the man in question spent the entire day here with me I know whoever that is in the footage is definitely _not_ Bucky. My money's on the facial masking technology SHIELD has been using for some time now.

Try explaining that to the fanatic public though.

"So...that happened," Peter waves at the TV and mutes it. "You weren't exactly popular after Captain America painted you Mister Stark's kidnapper and HYDRA loyalist but let me tell you Mister Bucky, _now_ you are really a hated person. I mean...an entire country is ready to invade the US just to hunt you down. The king's son in particular looked murderous."

"T'Challa...crap," I mutter, receiving confused looks. "I met him at the gala. He's uh...not someone you wanna piss off."

"That wasn't me," Bucky states unnecessarily.

"You don't say...of course it wasn't you. But as usual, until we prove otherwise the public will eat the media's bullshit in spades," I muse, frowning. "We need to act now."

Bucky shakes his head. "You need to - "

"And if you tell me I need to rest or some other crap I will punch you, Barnes! I've been sitting on my ass for a week! While HYDRA continued its reign over everything and did god knows what to the Avengers in the meantime! I'm done with that, we're launching the plan tomorrow!"

"Tony! We still don’t even know where the team is being held! And without FRIDAY - "

"Buckster dear, I appreciate your concerns but we are as ready as it gets. I can get to Fry easily and I know about one and only place that could house a Hulk or an Asgardian demi-god without being torn down within minutes. Which happens to be where they put Rumlow after Fury was done with him. So you could say we know _where_ they are and I can say I know _how_ to get in there and bust them out."

Bucky sighs and doesn't look convinced. "Okay, but that's hardly a plan. This afternoon you wanted to split into teams so we can surprise them at both fronts and I don't think that's such a good idea."

"I can get inside the prison and free the Avengers easily...you not so much. Unless you can hold your breath real well...like David Copperfield kinda well. So me getting the team out and you guys taking the Tower in the meantime is the best plan we've got right now!" I argue.

"We can wait for you then, once the Avengers are out we all take the Tower. You need back up, Tony. Splitting up like that is just a bad idea in general!" Bucky argues right back and god I know he's right but we don't have that kind of manpower to afford backups.

"Sounds like someone's short-staffed," a new voice comes from the front doors and my blood freezes.

I know that voice. And judging by Bucky's swift gun draw, he recognized it too.

I turn around and just as I expected, it's Rumlow standing by the slightly open doors. Alone. "You mean us or you?" I snark at him, giving Peter a warning glance but the boy already seemed to have caught on and looks battle ready.

How the fuck did he find us here?! Not even Fry knows about Peter!

Rumlow chuckles, the sound muffled by his ridiculous mask and he takes a step forward, making Bucky take one as well, gun pointed steadily at the agent's head.

"One more step and - "

"And you'll shoot me? Okay...you do that and the entire apartment building is going to come rushing in here. I bet they've seen the news...good luck talking your way out of here, soldier."

Bucky doesn't back down. "I'll take my chances."

"I'm sure you would...but it won't be necessary. This time," he adds and takes his mask off.

"Shit dude! What happened to your face?!" Peter blurts out, staring at Rumlow's scarred face.

"Fought with a building...the building won," he grins.

"What do you want, Rumlow?" I ask, running out of patience. And options. If he's here to fight I know Bucky and Peter could take him on no problem...but it could get really noisy. We could use the armor as an escape measure right about now. Shit...should have reactivated FRIDAY already!

"It's not what _he_ wants, as much as what _I_ want," comes another voice and I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes. Seriously?! Did the entire HYDRA get some kinda memo telling them we're in here?!

Stepping around Rumlow is Madame Hydra, as deceptively charming and menacing as I remember her.

"I'm just escorting tonight," Rumlow shrugs and steps out of Madame Hydra's way, moving to close the front doors behind them.

Wow...are they seriously alone here? Did we murder all their agents or something?

Bucky raises a questioning eyebrow at me and it just occurs to me he's got no idea who this is. "Madame Hydra," I nod at her. "You've met Bucky of course and this is Peter," I wave at the squinting teenager.

"Good to know you have some manners, Stark," she smirks and looks Peter over. "Peter who?"

"Peter _he's gonna kick your asses_ Peter," I return the smirk.

"So much for manners..." she mumbles and under watchful eyes of both Bucky and Rumlow she moves to the sofa and sits down. "But I don't expect you to be courteous. What I _do_ expect however is for you to hear me out."

I frown, exchanging weary looks with both Bucky and Peter. "Not sure you've got anything interesting to say. We should just kill you both and be done with it. Or are we waiting for Captain America and Zemo's minions to show up first?"

"I don't work with Zemo," she says, spiting Zemo's name like poison.

"No? Because he does!" I point Rumlow. "He was in the prison they’re holding the Avengers at...Zemo would only let him out if he was working with him. Not to mention we captured him while fighting Zemo's agents off so...your buddy over there works for him, which is enough of a red light for me."

"My _buddy_ over there is the most loyal agent in my employ. I'm sure Zemo thinks he works for him too...and I'd like to keep it that way," she explains, nodding appreciatively at Rumlow.

Wow...is this a HYDRA civil war I'm bearing witness to?!

I place a hand on Bucky's outstretched one, pulling the gun down. "Okay...we're listening," I tell her and sit cautiously into the armchair facing her way. Bucky lowers the gun but keeps it at the ready, staring the two HYDRA operatives down. Peter silently observes from behind, also on high alert.

"I want Zemo out of the picture," she cuts right to the chase. "Preferably dead, but since you people have...morals and all that, I could settle for him rotting in prison as well."

"Why?" Bucky asks, stealing the question from my tongue. "He brought HYDRA to a position of power it hadn't have since the second world war."

"Yeah...you've got the UN under control, you've got SHIELD back under your wings and then there's the case of a certain American idol now hailing HYDRA like he's been born with ten heads and scales. Why would you wanna lose that?" I keep the pressure on but she just smiles.

"Because even HYDRA has standards," she deadpans. "Zemo gained his position within our organization fairly recently...under questionable circumstances, using questionable means. And what he's doing now is unbecoming of what we stand for."

I need a moment to process what the woman is trying to tell me because it almost sounds like... HYDRA is disagreeing with HYDRA. "Unbecoming?! Unbe...did Zemo transplant your brain to Steve and the other way around? Let me get this straight...Zemo teleports HYDRA into the top of the world leaders’ hierarchy and that is _unbecoming_ of him? Yeah uh...sorry. I must have taken one too many punches to the face if _that's_ what you're selling me here."

"Sounds almost as unlikely as Captain America working with HYDRA, doesn't it?" She smiles disgustingly sweetly. "I can give Zemo points for creativity there, but that's about it."

" _Steve_ would never willingly work with HYDRA," I snap at her, making her chuckle.

"I'm sure he wouldn't do many other things...like help Zemo gather information about the Tower's defenses, bring him medical reports about the Avengers so he could develop exactly the kinda disabling concoction he needs to take the more troublesome of them down...or sell his best friend to Zemo in exchange for a man he loves," she sings, rolling her eyes at our shocked expressions. "That's right. Zemo wants you," she points at Bucky, "and the good gone bad Captain wants you, Stark. I imagine their reasons differ...a lot...but there you have it. Captain America, HYDRA's newest Asset."

"How," Bucky growls, making Rumlow twitch. "How did Zemo do it?"

She sighs and gives her reply to me instead of Bucky. "He stole Zola's research from me. After our last...encounter...I put all my efforts into uncovering Zola's secrets, his experiments and theories...everything connected to the Winter Soldier and the programming techniques he used. And I found it. Everything he ever created. Which is where I found the missing final part of Project Wings and decided to serve the endgame right under your noses. Seeing the Winter Soldier somehow decided he would rather listen to you than anyone else, I thought getting rid of him altogether was the best option."

Can I strangle this bitch right here right now? Please…just a little bit…or a lot. "Yeah yeah...I figured. What's that about Zola's research? What did Zemo steal?" I cut in, not fond of the way she brings the Winter Soldier into the conversation.

"Everything," she answers simply. "The Winter Soldier files in particular. I had plans for that research myself, admittedly. But he took it and perfected it. See, while Zola was satisfied with the Project Wings solution in _his_ case," she waves lazily at Bucky, "he was looking for a more efficient and...permanent solution for any future assets. And oh there were many more...and their programming was defective. The assets never reached even a slither of effectiveness the Winter Soldier did. Some were stronger... but their obedience was questionable. They often malfunctioned and attacked their handlers so in the end, they were put in the ice and forgotten. Before Zola could solve the problem he died...and while his own brain remained in a form of an AI, it lacked the creativity to finish what he started. And his research was forgotten as well. Until now."

"What did he do to Steve?!" Bucky asks impatiently.

"He's given life to the Captain's dark side...after all, we all have one. Something evil lays dormant in everyone - an urge, a desire or ambition. Some people act on those...most keep them buried away, never succumbing to them. Zola discovered which part of our brain controls our... control. It's the part of it that makes us the civilized people we are. It contains empathy, compassion, our moral code that tells us what is right and what is wrong...Zola thought that if he can't find a way to make the assets into obedient puppets, maybe he could turn them into morally unrestrained tools without compassion or sense for right and wrong. Evil, in every sense of the word. He just never found a way to access that part of the brain and make it happen."

"Zemo did..." I breathe out, the strange puzzle that was Steve Rogers finally starting to come together in my head.

"And he used it against the Captain. The day of the trial? We weren't there to cause trouble for you...my agents were there to stop Zemo. His primary target was you, of course," she turns to Bucky and finally addressees him without condescending him. "But since you stayed inside the building, too many Avengers between him and you...not to mention Stark pretty much headed straight to your side like the guard dog he is...Zemo improvised. He managed to lure the Captain away from the scene and decided to take a chance. And as we all can see, it worked terrifyingly well. Even he didn't expect this kind of outcome."

"I met the Captain yesterday," Rumlow speaks up. "He's a completely different person...in a way. What would you say was his best quality? Before?"

Bucky takes a breath and is about to answer right away but pauses, shaking his head in disbelieve. "He'd stand up for what's right...protect everyone, especially his friends from those that would abuse them."

"Yeah," Rumlow cringes. "A true American hero yaddy yadda. He could be quite...obsessive though....believing his way is the only way sometimes? Because that's what he's like now. He's lost that sense of right and wrong, the protectiveness turned into possessiveness and he's not only believing his way is the only right way but everyone else's way is wrong. So everyone else should be dealt with unless they agree with him."

"Needless to say Zemo agrees with him and inconspicuously manipulates him to do what he wants," Madame Hydra adds. "Because it's what the Captain wants now too."

I curse under my breath, piercing Rumlow with a glare. "I fucking asked you if HYDRA was involved somehow and you said no, you lying fuck!"

He laughs. "You asked me if I or Madame Hydra had something to do with it, get your shit straight, Stark! I didn't lie to you. Even if I did, so what? I had no reason to tell you anything at all."

"Looks like if you told me we could have avoided a lot of trouble for both me and you," I frown at them. "Is there a way to undo what Zemo did?" I ask Madame Hydra.

She shrugs. "I don't even know how exactly he did what he did. So I wouldn't know if it can be undone. If we get Zemo alive maybe he can answer that for you."

"We? There's no _we_. There's me, Bucky and the Red and Blue Widow over there!"

"That's not my superhero name!" Peter whines.

Madame Hydra chuckles, shaking her head. "The last thing I'd want to do is underestimate you...I don't make the same mistakes twice. But if you want to free the Avengers and retake the Tower at the same time, you need more men. The Tower is swarming with Zemo's agents - and the Captain - while the prison is guarded by SHIELD and governmental special forces. I don't think you're in the position to say no to my offer."

"I'd rather fight a swarm of discount HYDRA agents alone then accept a help from you," I spit out.

"Tony...," Bucky says in a reprimanding voice. "She's right. If she's offering to help, we can't afford to say no right now."

"See? Even he understands," she smirks.

"Besides, we can use her men as meat shields and let them deal with the lesser threats while we deal with Steve and Zemo," he continues with a smirk of his own.

Her smile falters at that. "He understands all too well. Should have known the Soldier's sharp wit would rub off on you. You decimated my ranks and while I have been recruiting, I still don't have the manpower I used to before. I'm sure they will serve their purpose though. I have only one condition. Zemo, out of the way by the end of it. Dead, captured, whatever applies."

"I have two conditions," I decide after taking a moment to think about this. "Firstly, you're gonna finally tell me why the fuck you want to fight Zemo other than...being butthurt because he stole the research and finished it before you could."

She rolls her eyes again. "That research is dangerous. Now that he sees it's working he's going to use it and I can't let that happen. Zola's idea was interesting, but it's not applicable. It might have somewhat worked in the Captain's case but that doesn't mean it will work for others. It doesn't solve the fault of the Winter Soldier programming. In the long run it would probably cause more problems than it would solve. I can't let something so volatile in Zemo's maniacal hands."

I scoff, shaking my head. "I really lived to see the day HYDRA turns into kindergarten and its alpha kids start fighting over best toys. I guess I can get behind that...enemy of my enemy and all that jab."

"Very well. And your second condition?"

"Zola's research...all the files about the Winter Soldier programming, you're going to give them to me. Once Zemo's disabled I will look into what he did with it, see if there's a way to revert what he did to Steve. And then I'm going to destroy it. All of it. I don't give a fuck about what you stand for or not stand for, the world doesn't need any more Winter Soldiers. Nobody deserves to be treated like that...take it or leave it."

She exchanges a look with Rumlow...it reminds me of Natasha. That's how she and Clint look at each other when they're silently having an entire conversation. Kinda scary to see these two do the same. Because in a way that would suggest she considers Rumlow her equal, not just a pesky underling.

"I agree to these terms," she says in the end. "As a sign of good will I will even tell you how we found you here...I'm sure you've been wondering."

"Oh I've been wondering...but I think I've figured it out already."

"That so?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Only one way you could have, really. You identified the signal I'm using to track the arm."

"You're tracking my arm?!"

"Hush now, it saved our asses back then."

"It sure did," she admits wearily. "Naturally, I had to investigate how that happened, exactly."

"Great job," I praise her sarcastically. "So, we done talking or what?"

"I do have one more question," she says thoughtfully. "If you find the effects are permanent...that what Zemo did to the Captain cannot be undone...what are you going to do then?"

That's actually a really good question. Bucky tenses next to me, clearly disturbed by the insinuation. What if Steve's gonna stay this way...forever? I know what she wants to hear...she wants me to say we're gonna kill him.

And I fearfully realize it's one of only two options. Just like with Zemo, it's either dead or locked up.

"We'll figure that out when it's relevant," I answer neutrally. It’s no use thinking about that now. Not until I squeeze as many information from Zemo as I can and rip through that research through and through to confirm Steve's predicament.

And ours.

"Alright then...what’s the plan, Mister Stark?" She asks, making herself comfortable on the sofa.

This is gonna be a long night...and an even longer day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well...look who's back :D And fighting _with_ our babies, not against them O.o ...or are they? *bwahahahhahah*


	15. The end of the line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony flies off to free the Avengers while Bucky and Peter storm the Tower. 
> 
> Nothing goes according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheeeeeeee! ^^ Sunday is here and so is the fifteenth chapter! Out of twenty ^^ Yup, I am finalizing the chapter count to 20! \o/ Five more chapters to go! And let me just tell you right now it's gonna be quite the ride! Starting with this here chapter...I hope you missed cliffhangers, because this chapter is gonna hang some cliffs for sure! :3 
> 
> Hope you'll like it! <3 
> 
> I won't leave you hanging for too long, Wednesday will bring one very special chapter and it will only get...I'd like to say better from there but...you know me :D 
> 
> Thank you so much for your feedback and without further ado, grab a cookie, cup of tea and enjoy the read! ^^

**[>>>Chapter soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiqU6Hh5Ink&list=PLk09tmeXpLmAymrXT97xKJ-s_EAglDdV2&index=5) **

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

"I still think you shouldn't go with Rumlow. He can't be trusted," Bucky mumbles, leaning on his right side against one of HYDRA's disgustingly cliché black vans.

"I'm not _trusting_ him. He either does his job or I'll blow him sky high."

He doesn't look any more at ease.

" _ETA five minutes, boss,"_ FRIDAY announces through the earpiece Bucky managed to salvage before leaving the Tower and I let out a shaky breath. Using HYDRA's computers - how low did I fall down? - I reactivated her remotely and I'm hoping she can operate he armor without being noticed.

"Showtime. Thanks Fry. Did they spot anything?"

" _They look unaware of my temporary presence within the Tower's mainframe. You should see the security programming they have uploaded for themselves, boss. It's beyond terrible_."

"Good. I'll handle that once the Tower is ours again so you can safely return. Stay in the backups for now."

" _Will do, boss. Say hi to Bucky for me_."

"Fry says hi," I forward the message and Bucky's tense face cracks into a smile.

"Hi, FRIDAY."

"Bucky says hi to you too," I repeat even though I know Fry could probably hear it.

" _Lovely_."

"Look after the kid," I tell Bucky, seeing Peter approaching the van in full gear. "He can take care of himself, but still...keep an eye out for him. Aunt May is scary."

He chuckles and looks around as Peter comes up to us, frowning immediately. "Wow. Red and blue widow...I see what you did there," he winks at me.

"It's _Spiderman_!" Peter argues, undoubtedly pouting behind the mask.

"You might be pushing it a bit with the _man_ part of the name," I join the teasing spree.

" _Spiderboy_ sounds like a kids cartoon, though," Bucky shrugs.

" _Spidernager_ sounds like a wannabe villain in that cartoon," I add.

" _Spiderkid_ then."

"Yeah, has a nice ring to it. The _k_ sound really sparks it up. Besides, there's already _Iron_ Man...and there's this one guy going about calling himself _Ant_ Man. Thor man. Wanda man. _Man_...too many men around if you ask me."

Peter flails his hands in the air before folding them on his chest. "You're so mean."

"We are merely trying to lighten the mood. If you were wondering why it smells like something died it's because the _mood_ died," I pat Peter on his shoulder encouragingly.

"I thought it was Rumlow's face," Bucky says obnoxiously loud, so the man in question would hear it from where he's waiting by the helicopter.

He doesn't look amused.

Peter barks out a laugh, apparently done with being offended and opens the van doors. "Ready?"

"Gimme a sec," Bucky replies and moves towards Rumlow, who appropriately stiffens. Judging from Rumlow's steadily more and more terrified face I imagine the one sided conversation wasn't Bucky telling him a joke. More like threatening the fuck out of him. That really shouldn't warm me by the heart as much as it did right now. "Ready," Bucky nods as he comes back and Peter enters the van. "Be careful, Tony."

"Am I not ever? Fine...I'll be careful if _you_ will," I add when he gives me the _I don’t believe you_ look.

"Fair enough. But it's not me heading out into an underwater ocean prison with Rumlow."

"Better that than heading off to fight crazy Sith lord Steve," I joke weakly, hints of concern seeping into my voice.

"Gonna have to watch Star Wars after this is over," he suggests.

"Again," I mumble.

His smile falters and the next thing I know I'm enveloped in a heartbreakingly sweet embrace, warm and gentle. I don't even think about it for a second before returning it, my hands coming up around his waist. Again he says nothing and neither do I...it feels like I _should_ say something. That maybe I won't have another chance to do it...but it also feels like the embrace conveys every single word I'd want to say anyway.

I hold on tighter, breathing out in content. I never understood that cheesy part about romantic movies in which the characters would hug or kiss, wishing it would never end. Well...I might understand a little bit now. Or more than a little bit.

Shit... _don't let go, don't let go, don't let go_...

He squeezes a little bit before pulling away and moving inside the van without a word, but I can't let him go just yet.

"Pep will be waiting for you on the rendezvous point," I clear my throat and stop him with a gentle hand on his arm. "She's not thrilled about the whole _'we're working with HYDRA to fight HYDRA_ ' bit. I warned Madame Hydra that if Pepper's heels slip and she murders her agents...accidentally, I will bear no responsibility."

He smirks. "She doesn't really fight with her shoes though...right?"

"Nope... don't go too close to her once shit gets real. She's...hot in more ways than one."

"Huh...you jealous?" His smirk widens.

"Of her being a human torch? Pffft, I'm Iron Man!"

"Of me spending quality time with your hot ladyfriend?" He clarifies smugly and sits inside the van.

"If I knew she was swinging that way I maybe would," I grin, stunning him into silence. "If I knew _you_ were swinging that way, I probably would too, but...," I shrug and with a wink I close the van doors, not missing Bucky's mischievous grin...or Peter's exaggerated "Finally! You done making out? Let's go kick some HYDRA ass then!"

I most definitely did _not_ blush because of something a teenager just said. Nope. Oh hell...even _he_ noticed for fuck's sake...how obvious am I? Or...how obvious are _we_?

" _Nicely done, boss_ ," FRIDAY interrupts my hopeful thoughts. " _Next time I'd suggest a little bit more lips and tongue involved_."

"Wh...how did you..." I spin around and see the armor has already arrived and is standing a couple feet in front of Rumlow and Fry is making it wave at me flirtingly. "You cheeky little...I love you FRIDAY."

" _Love you too boss but you shouldn't be telling_ me _that_."

I roll my eyes and move towards the armor, ignoring Rumlow's suggestively wiggling eyebrows. "Mind your own business Rumlow!"

"I am...," he raises his hands in a placating gesture. "Stark and Barnes, sitting on a tree...," he sings and starts whistling as he climbs into the copter.

"For fuck's sake! I'm going to kill you Rumlow!" I call after the man and let the armor assemble around me.

"Not sure there'll be anything left of me after your _boyfriend's_ done with me...judging from the little talk we just had," he replies and starts the helicopter, the noise stifling the litany of curses I hurl his way.

We take off at the same time the vans start moving towards the Tower and I instruct FRIDAY to use stealth mode as soon as we enter the prison's sensor radius. I helped build that fucking prison - to be used for the bad guys, mind you - so if _I_ can't get into it and through it uncontested, I don't know who can.

Rumlow can...since Zemo believes him to be loyal to him, ditching Madame Hydra as a lost cause, he will let the agent inside the prison without questions. A perfect window of opportunity for me to get in.

After thirty minutes we approach the prison's location and Rumlow gives me the sign to get ready...except instead of a thumbs up we agreed on, he gives me a heart shape...that fucking troll. I bet he got that from Deadpool.

Crap, those two must have bonded over their fucked up faces and love for chimichangas. What a terrifying thought.

As expected, the prison emerges from underneath the storming ocean - that was my idea by the way...I'm a big fan of Atlantis - and the hatch opens up to allow Rumlow's helicopter entry.

I follow the copter inside and this is where the guards should start realizing how screwed they are and just surrender. The alarm goes off the second I'm spotted but I pay it no mind.

"FRIDAY?"

" _On it, boss_ ," she replies and follows through on our plan. I touch down and leisurely walk towards the entrance into the prison's administration quarters and cell blocks, shooting disabling shots at the guards. These are not HYDRA, no reason to hurt them _too_ much.

I walk through the fairly empty corridors, only a couple of guards intercepting me - to no veil. There are some bangs on the doors so I guess FRIDAY did as instructed - hacked into the prison's security system and put it on complete lockdown, only opening doors for me.

The shit a guy can get away with when he helps design the place...and the security protocols.

" _I cannot locate the cell blocks within the protocols, boss. Looks like they have a separate security systems to keep the cells locked up_."

Wow...I suggested Ross should do that. Didn't think he actually _would_ since the size of his brain is probably the size of his dick so...color me surprised. "Don’t worry about it Fry, I'll do it the old fashioned way."

" _Have fun, boss_."

I finally reach the cellblock and all but blast my way in.

"Tony?!" Is the unanimous shout coming from the cells around the room and I give the team a little wave.

"Missed me?" I ask, letting my faceplate slide off. "'Cause I missed you… _some_ of you anyway," I squint at Wanda, whose small smile - huh, a smile - turns into a grin. Did Zemo fuck with her brain too? Or did I miss the part where she stopped hating my ass?

"Did Rogers do that?" Is the first thing Natasha says, glaring at my surely colorfully bruised face.

"You should see _him_ ," I shrug, moving towards the security console, hacking right in.

"I did...we all saw him, he's - "

"Yeah yeah...I know. He's working with Zemo...that son of a bitch did this to him. I'll explain later but now," I announce and with a positive beep from the console the cells power down and open. "Now we're getting the fuck outta here. Gotta help team Spider Soldier retake the Tower."

"Whose stealing my thing?" Natasha asks dangerously, but hugs me right the second she wobbles out of the cell.

"A new guy...you're gonna have to share. Take Clint and Sam as a prime example, they're sharing the bird thing just fine. Nat... Nat I think you're squeezing the armor in on me..."

She lets go with a smile and nods behind me. "You guys good?" She addresses the team and I turn around to inspect the damage.

Wanda seems to be the worst one off, still bound within her cell, barely able to move. Huh, probably drugged... _that's_ why she gave me a smile. Vision, being the proper gentleman I raised him up to be, is already helping her out, while the others stumble out of their cells on shaky legs.

"Man, I've never been happier to see you," Rhodey exclaims and gives me a crushing hug as well.

"I'm happy to see you all too...now stop all the hugging, we've got things to do! We can continue the hugging later...do we have to let HYDRA take over the world for you guys to get tactile? Huh...gotta do it more often then."

"Tony," Bruce stops my babbling and jumps away in a scare as Thor's hammer wheezes by from who knows where.

"Nat, take the lead. There should be a jet in the hanger, FRIDAY will guide you around," I instruct, handing her a spare earpiece and tossing a couple bracelets to Rhodey. "Patriot time, Rhodey."

"Sweet!"

“What about my wings, man?” Sam pouts.

“Should be in a storage nearby. If you want recalling bracelets for them, you’re gonna have to be extra nice this year and maybe Santa will do something about it,” I wink at the bird man and watch him roll his eyes, heading for the exit.

"Aren't you coming along?" Natasha frowns.

"In a bit. Gotta look for something first." Well, more like _someone_ , but Natasha doesn’t need to know that. "I'll be up in the air as soon as I'm done, don't worry."

"I'll stay with you then."

"And let Clint take the lead? I want the Tower back in one piece, please."

"Tony - "

"There is a throng of HYDRA agents and _Steve_ in there right now and the only people fighting their way in is a deadly spider guy, Bucky and the remnants of Madame Hydra's forces. You gotta get there like fifteen minutes ago!"

"Did you just say Madame hydra?!" Clint blurts out.

"Oh...yeah...and Rumlow is probably somewhere around here...don't kill him. Yet. We have a deal."

"You made a deal with - "

"Not now bird brain 2.0! Get into the jet and go save the day! I'm right behind you!"

Natasha sighs and nods towards the exit. "Let’s go! You better be right behind us," she whispers to me and runs off, the rest of the team giving me the same grateful slash worried look and running after her.

"Talk to me Fry!"

" _I can’t find anything within the prison's network_."

"And Zemo?"

" _Without a proper image or video I can’t estimate whether he's here or not. There are people gathering in the storage area though. They managed to blast their way through the lockdown_."

"Sounds like a good place to start. Lead the way."

The storage is a couple floors down. It’s a huge spacious room full of supplies...and as it turns out, HYDRA agents. They alert to my entrance, falling around one single man. Looks like we hit the jackpot.

 

 

**xxxBuckyBarnesxxx**

 

 

Working our way through the Tower is tough. Madame Hydra wasn't kidding when she said Zemo had been recruiting. Thankfully, quantity doesn't necessarily mean quality so most of the agents are barely trained and some even lay their weapons down and run away.

Tony also wasn't kidding. About Peter. The kid literally swings around the room, taking down agent after agent while talking with me or them. Like, talking a _lot_.

"Ever heard of the world wide web?" He comments when he sprays one particular agent with his webs from head to toe. "Can you feel with the metal arm?" He randomly asks me in the middle of punching a guy into unconsciousness. "Is it heavy?"  "Hope you don't have arachnophobia dude."  "Do you have cool gadgets inside the arm?"  "Ewww, don't stick your tongue to the webbing agent Whoever, it'll stick! Oh! Like the same way it would stick to his arm during winter. Hah! Winter Soldier, now I get it!"

Yeah... he never stops. No wonder Tony likes him. He's like a constant whirlwind of activity...kinda like Tony is.

And he kicks ass. For a petite guy like him...yeah, he kicks major ass. One of the agents hurled a huge table at him and he didn't even flinch as he blocked it with his hand and threw it right back at the shocked agent.

Then there's Pepper Potts. Against my better judgment she decided to take it from the roof down on her own...I’ve recently heard the phrase _set the roof on fire_? Well... that's kinda what happened. We haven't seen her since then...but every now and then we catch a glimpse of a HYDRA agent plummeting to the ground through the window. I'd say she's doing just fine.

So it's tough but it goes well. That is until Steve arrives. He doesn't waste much time talking...any time, to be exact. Just pulls the shield from his back and swings it at me.

Feeling particularly cheeky...and unforgiving...I stop it with my metal hand and keep it.

 

"Whoa! So cool!" Peter yells and focuses on the surrounding agents.

Steve expects the shield to be thrown back at him but when I just adjust it in my flesh hand he frowns and launches at me with a growl.

Fighting with the shield feels off, I'm not used to it at all and apparently the Winter Soldier wasn't either. But it sure makes things easier, because without the shield Steve is left to fight barehanded. Not that he's holding back though. He swings and kicks at me with full power, clearly wanting to hurt me.

I'd _feel_ hurt, seeing my best friend so angry...at me...attacking me without hesitation, forcing me to attack him back...but all I need is remember what he's done to Tony and I don't feel so bad anymore. I know Zemo did this to him, that the Steve I knew would never be like this...but this isn't the Steve I've known. And I can't let him get away.

"Mister Bucky?" Peter asks from the stairwell, all the enemy agents down on the ground and the temporarily allied ones awaiting orders.

"Go, meet with Miss Potts! I got this!" I call after him, trying to stay focused on Steve. "And stop calling me mister!"

"Aye aye, Sergeant!" He replies cheekily and I see him disappear into the stairwell out the corner of my eye.

"You _got this_ , huh?" Steve grunts, dodging my metal fist. "Do you really?!" He tackles me down, destroying a coffee table in the process.

I use the shield to push him off of me and roll on my feet. "The hell is your problem, Steve?!"

"Oh I don't know," he sputters sarcastically, also standing back up into a battle stance. "Maybe I'm pissed my best friend lied to me!"

I frown at that. "I did? Me?"

"I almost believed your good guy speech about how you would never get in between me and Tony and what do you do next?! You take him away from me!"

It takes every single ounce of my self control to not bash his skull in with the shield right now. "You beat him into unconsciousness you asshole! All because he what? Didn't want to do whatever your sick and twisted mind came up with?! Since when are you two even together, Steve?! Answer me that, because according to Tony you were never a thing!"

"Of course he'd say that now that he's all smitten with _you_!" He yells at me but at least he stopped his attacks for now.

"Steve...you're delusional. You're working with HYDRA for fuck's sake! You gave up your life to stop them and now you're fighting _for_ them! And Tony?! You wanna tell me you're in love with him?! Is that why you beat him up?! And forced yourself on him?! That how you treat a fella you love?!"

"What would you know about love?! You just whored yourself with anything that looked your way!"

I grab him, my metal fingers pushing against his neck until he hits the wall behind him. "What do _you_ know?! The last time I checked Peggy Carter was the love of your life and you didn't even bother coming to her funeral!"

For the first time today I see something akin to genuine shock and realization inside his raging blue eyes.

"Yeah, remember Peggy? The badass agent you couldn't keep your eyes off of? Peggy who spent her entire life wishing you never crashed that plane so you could go on a date and all that?! Would you treat her like this too?! You'd call this _love_?!"

He lets out a shaky breath and I let him lean slightly forward. "Yes. I would," he whispers into my ear and he might as well had said _Hail Hydra_ , because hearing _this_ hurts just as much. "You sent Tony after Zemo?" He suddenly asks, and when he leans back against the wall I almost reel back from him and the twisted grin he puts on his face.

"Ain't none of your business where Tony is. You're not going anywhere near him again...not until you're back to normal."

He laughs, unlike any laugh I've ever heard coming from the man. " _This_ is who I am, Bucky. If you think I\ve ever been someone else…then you’ve never really knew me. This is me and you can't change that. You don't want me to go near your newest pet?" He spits, his grin going all toothy and disturbing. "Then I suggest you kill me now. I know you want to. I can see that fury in your eyes...you'd know how to kill me, wouldn't you? You imagined it, thought about it...you'd let the Winter Soldier loose and do what he's best at - murdering people. Cause that's who you are, a murderer. Men, women, children...a best friend. Tony's parents. You're just a _murderer_. You think Tony could love someone like that? Don't be ridiculous... he could never love the Winter Soldier."

I know what he's doing...he's trying to provoke me. And it's working. Because...because he's right. I'm a murderer. Nothing is ever gonna erase the blood on my hands. Nothing. And Tony...he deserves better than that. "Maybe. But you know what? He could never love _you_ either."

The grin slowly dissipates into a scowl. "Then you need to kill me right now. Because if he doesn't behave himself...well...let’s say I've got plans for him."

"You're never touching him again, you hear me?!" I bark into his face.

"Kill me then. One way or another, me and Tony are reuniting. And if you let him go after Zemo...chances are the reunion is happening sooner rather than later."

My heart drops ten thousand feet underground, fear settling down in my gut. "He can handle Zemo just fine. I'm not gonna kill you. There's still a chance for you, Steve...there is. There _must_ be. You wouldn't give up on me before...and I'm not gonna give up on you either. Because...because I'm with you till the end of the line, you punk! So if I have to punch the sense back into you, I'll do that!"

He looks uncertain for just a split of a second before shrugging. "You think Zemo is alone? Tell me...Iron Man against Winter Soldier. Who'd win? Probably Iron Man. What about Iron Man against two Winter Soldiers? Three? How about two dozen of them? My bet's on the soldiers. And what do you know...Zemo found a couple dozen of your failed brothers and sisters in Siberia and they're keeping him company...so you either kill me, or me and Tony are gonna have some fun times soon," he smirks, seeing the terrified face I gotta be sporting right now. When I don't say anything or move for the kill, he sighs. "Don't tell me I didn't give you a chance then," he tells me and raises his hand, pointing somewhere behind me.

I risk turning my head around and I come face to face with someone in a black and silver costume, covered from head to toe kinda like Peter's suit. I don’t have the time to find out who that is, because the man - or so I'd assume - moves, stabbing something into my back. Not once, but _three_ times.

I scream at the agonizing pain spreading through my body and in a matter of seconds I can’t feel my limbs, let alone control them.

Steve shoves me off of him and I fall to the ground with a pained grunt. Tears spring into my eyes and they're not just the result of the pain or shock...it's panic too.

The blurry figure of my former best friend looms over me as he wriggles the shield out of my hand and fastens it back around his right hand. "You don't deserve that shield. Howard made that shield. For me. And you killed him. You don’t deserve it," is the last thing I hear him say before he swings that shield at my face.


	16. I see a darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zemo gets what he wants. And Steve gets what he wants too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear...um...so this is happening now :D Please don't kill me :D Remember, happy ending! :D
> 
> Thank you all so much for your amazing comments and lovely kudos and know that I do not plan on breaking your hearts! ...too much :3 
> 
> I'll see you Sunday for the next pretty major chapter and until then...time for some soul sacrifices in prayer for that happy ending :'D

**[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0&index=3&list=PLk09tmeXpLmBVnEtNHjRhVu8Ld3d5uXTV) **

 

**xxxNatashaRomanovxxx**

 

"Bruce! Try getting FRIDAY back online!" I order and move up the ramp to meet Pepper and a...guy in a red and blue costume. "You the spider guy?"

"Yes ma'am!" A strangely... _young_ voice answers me. "I'm Peter!"

So much for a secret identity.

"Barnes is gone," Pepper says, eying the team wearily. "Where's Tony? And if you bloody tell me you left him alone in that prison, I'm going to murder you all right here!"

Oh no...but...he's got the armor...there was nobody in that prison capable of taking him down... _shit_...was there?!

"Bloody hell, Natasha!" Pepper shrieks and punches my shoulder...hard. "Barnes was fighting Steve down on twenty-fifth. That's where Peter saw him last."

"Shit," Clint curses, pacing around the stunned team.

"We shall turn around and go assist our Iron comrade at once!" Thor announces and starts spinning the hammer.

"Me and Thor will go," Vision decides. "Get FRIDAY working and see if she can help us locate Bucky. There should be a tracker in his arm she can connect to. Hopefully she can track the armor as well," he says and him, Thor and the ever rebellious Rhodey take off when I give them a nod.

"We are so bad at this," Sam grunts. "Our teamwork is shit...our timing is shit...we're shitty friends too..."

"Yes, you are!" Pepper spits through gritted teeth, slapping Sam on the back of his head. "If HYDRA got Tony...no...if _Steve_ got Tony, I'm going supernova on all your asses!"

"We won't put up a fight...we deserve it...shit Pep...Zemo's got some twisted evil thing in mind for Bucky and...shit!" I mutter, feeling completely lost for the first time since Budapest.

"Nat..." Clint starts but I stop him with a glare.

"Looks like you could use a hand," an unknown female voice disrupts us from the corridor.

"You!" Pepper shouts and moves in on the newcomer. "I'm starting with _you_ , you treacherous little b - "

"Zemo took Stark," she says, stopping Pepper in her advance. "According to my newest intel he's reactivated an army of assets trained as the Winter Soldier and...overpowered him."

" _I can confirm this_ ," FRIDAY speaks and I've never heard her voice so strained. " _Captain Rogers along with an unknown individual took Bucky as well._ "

"Can you track them, Fry?" I ask her, keeping a daring eye on the unknown woman.

" _I did for a moment. It would seem Zemo ditched boss's armor while still in the prison so that is where my tracking ended. I followed Bucky's signal outside of New York but then it disappeared. I fear they are either jamming it or...or they found the tracker_."

"Don't worry, darlings. I know where they're taking them," the woman speaks and I snap at her.

"And who the hell _are_ you?"

"Madame Hydra," Pepper growls, still fiercely gazing at her.

Madame _fucking_ Hydra ignores Pepper altogether and talks to me instead. "Zemo and the Captain will trade their hostages. He wants the Asset and the Captain wants Stark. They will meet in Zemo's closest base to do it."

"And you know where that is?" Bruce asks, emerging from a nearby room.

"Not yet. But I will."

"When?! We can't let them in their hands for longer than a minute!" Clint bursts out. "Hell, a minute is too long!"

"Soon, soon...be ready to embark," she instructs and casually heads towards the sofa to sit down.

I glare at her back for a moment before turning back to the team. "Alright, let's get ready. Bruce...I think you should - "

"Sit this one out? Yes...that's probably a good idea. If I let the green guy out, he'll stomp Steve into the ground until he's coming out flat in China. We need to capture him alive. Him and Zemo both."

I nod, trying to think about a way we could fight Steve off into unconsciousness. That's not gonna be easy. But maybe...

"I got a plan...you're not going to like it," I glance at Clint who catches on fast and groans. "FRIDAY, get in touch with Rhodey and call them back here."

" _Already alerted them_."

"You're the best. Contact Fury too, explain the situation to him. Tell him we don't need his help…in fact, if he gets in our way, I will tear him to little pieces.”

" _Will do_."

"Thank you. You good to go?" I turn to Sam and a still dazed Wanda.

"Hell yeah. The wings are a bit...wonky, but I'll manage."

"I'm good," Wanda replies tiredly, but with a determined look. I know she and Tony are not exactly friendly...but from her most recent behavior I noticed she wasn't hostile toward him anymore. I bet Vision has something to do with that.

"Me and Spiderboy are ready too," Pep adds.

"Spider _man_! It's Spider _man_ , okay?"

"Riiiiight," she teases him.

I nod and go over my equipment one more time to make sure it's battle ready. All we can do for now is wait for Madame Hydra's intel.

Crap...we are relying on HYDRA to fight HYDRA. Someone pinch me...

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

 

I really shouldn't be surprised that plan A didn't exactly go as planned. It never fucking does. How the hell did Zemo get an army of enhanced assets and more importantly, how did he manage to control them?! Fuck...I got my ass kicked hardcore...but at least the Avengers are free and hopefully helped Bucky, Peter and Pep get the Tower under control now.

They will find me. Or at least I hope they will. This time.

"So much for that plan, huh?" Rumlow chuckles as he drags me along with some other agent through the corridor.

That traitorous piece of shit is working with Zemo and rather enjoyed seeing me getting my ass destroyed. Don’t trust Rumlow - lesson learned.

Zemo, leading our little procession, reaches the door at the end of the darkened corridor of whatever shithole HYDRA base we're in right now and waves the other assets away to stay here, while me and Rumlow come inside.

I freeze at the entrance to a point where Rumlow has to all but carry me further into the room.

Steve's here. Steve...fuck Steve but _Bucky_ is here! Nonononono...nope, he's in the Tower with Pep and the kid, he's fine, he's...

He's _here_...bound, eyes glazed over, sitting limply on a chair in front of Steve.

"Looks like we are getting what we want after all," Zemo smirks and walks up to them.

"Looks like it," Steve echoes, looking sternly my way.

"Rumlow! Come pick up my gift," he waves at the traitor agent, pointing at Bucky.

My hands may be bound too, but that doesn't stop me from emerging from my frozen stupor and grabbing Rumlow by his arm as if...as if Bucky's life depended on it. Because it does. "You said you were loyal to Madame Hydra...lying to _me_ I can understand but lying to _her_? Probably not a good idea."

He gives me the strangest of looks and wriggles out of my hold. "Madame Hydra is history, don't you _see_ Stark? The future of HYDRA lies with Zemo. I ain't fighting for a lost cause."

"Oh yeah?! Wait ‘till the Avengers get here then, we'll see who's the lost cause!" I yell at him desperately.

"They don't know where you are...oh and that little shoulder tracker _he's_ got there? It's deactivated. So if you think they're coming to save you, think again," he retorts and moves to Bucky, who is still barely conscious, hauling him upwards.

"Well then," Zemo starts, satisfied with Rumlow's answer, "I will give you two some privacy...have fun Captain. We will discuss further plans later. Meet me at lab three."

He turns around to the exit with Rumlow at his tail so I pin myself against the door. "You can't have him!" I growl at Zemo, knowing how ridiculous I must look.

"I already _do_ have him, Mister Stark. I think you've forgotten who you're dealing with here. HYDRA doesn't like losing their toys to the enemy."

"Wow...so you're HYDRA for what, three months?! And you're all up with their philosophy?!"

"I'm all up in _mine_ ," he shrugs. "I wanted to destroy the Avengers...to make you suffer as you deserve to...and one by one, you all will!"

"Yeah well, it’s not gonna bring them back you know?" I blurt out. "Your family? This is not gonna bring them back..."

He momentarily looks taken aback, but his cocky façade soon returns. "No. It's not. But it will feel righteous. It won't hurt so much anymore."

I shake my head, pitifully covering the way my entire body trembles. "Keep telling yourself that! I killed dozens of HYDRA agents, I killed Stane too and it doesn't hurt any less! It didn't feel like _anything_...I didn't feel anything at all...I got my revenge...but it didn't bring my parents back. All those years I still could have spent with them?! Nobody can get me those! No matter who I blame and kill...so if you think you're gonna get your life back by becoming HYDRA and destroying the Avengers then you're in for a nasty surprise. It'll be satisfying for a moment or two...but then you're gonna realize you're still alone and they're gone...and it's an empty, terrifying feeling..."

Zemo pauses, his face painfully tense as he's gritting his teeth. I looked him up months ago. Another person wronged by the Avengers. He's got every right to blame us...to blame me for what happened to his family in Sokovia. There are so many people like him. After New York and Washington...and especially after Sokovia. Because an alien army invading Earth and HYDRA trying to commit mass murder was something out of our control...but Ultron was on _me_. There’s nobody else to blame for Sokovia but me. And I'll be damned if I let anyone else suffer because of what I did.

"What happened in Sokovia was _my_ fault...you want revenge then take it! Take _me_! Leave the others out of it!"

Rumlow gives me that weird look again but doesn't say anything, just keeps on holding Bucky in place. He's become more alert since I've started talking and stares at me with wide teary eyes.

"But I _am_ , Stark...I am executing my revenge on you. Now that I finally know how...it's exactly what I'm doing. The Avengers are in disarray, your good friend - the Captain joined the organization he once fought against on his own free will and you...you made me lose everything I ever loved on this god forsaken world. And when I'm done with _him_ ," he nods at Bucky, "I'll give you a taste of what that feels like."

"No!" I scream at him, taking a step forward but that's where strong arms grab mine and shove me out of the way. "Don't! Please, don't! Zemo! Just take me! Please!"

But he doesn't even give me a second look, just walks out of the room with Rumlow and a terrified looking Bucky.

"Please...," I breathe out into a sob and let my body go limp in what I can recognize as Steve's iron grip.

The door closes with a click and I'm suddenly falling forward when Steve gives me a small push and let’s go of me. I don't even have time to panic over the fact I'm alone with Steve again in what I can only describe as the dreaded rape and torture dungeon, because the panic over Bucky being dragged away somewhere Zemo plans on doing who knows what to him is so much stronger.

I just stay crumbled on the floor, heaving with uncontrollable sobs while Steve walks around to face me, blocking my view of the door. I expect this is where we're gonna...how did he say it before? Continue where we left of? And honestly, right now I wouldn't give a damn about what Steve does to me...

But he just crouches down to my level, so he can stare me in the eyes. "So it's true. Rumlow hinted on it...Bucky didn't even try denying it this time...and Zemo just confirmed it for me. It's true, isn't it, Tony?" He asks with a devastated expression that really doesn't fit on his face right now. "You're in love with him," he stutters when I just continue crying.

I glare at him, making sure I let my face convey every single emotion I've felt toward Steve in the past...half a year, really. The disappointment, betrayal, heartbreak...anger and hate. "Took you long enough to figure out," I mumble between sobs. "Even Spiderman caught on after two days...but it’s not like you've been paying attention to me. The good kind of attention, mind you."

"You betrayed me, then! You...with my best friend too! How could you Tony?! We...we had a good thing going. And then you go grab Bucky, hide him away like the secret he was and fall in love! How typical of you...shouldn't really be too surprised going by your record. You're just like him...he never had a serious relationship in his life. Just a whole lot of one offs. Sometimes one wasn't even enough so he'd bring two women. And then he'd sneak off with a guy...yeah. I guess you two deserve each other," he says, fury apparent in his voice. "He killed Howard...and your mom. He killed them and you fall in love with him?! He killed so many people! It's the only thing he's good at and you fall in love with a murderous monster like him?!" He flails and gets up, pacing around.

I will the panic to subside in order to digest everything that just came out of his mouth. Zemo fucked with his brain, I know that now, but he didn't wipe his memories nor the remaining sense for logic outta him so I refuse to believe that he can't be somehow reasoned with.

"Steve...we never had _any_ kinda thing going. I don't know how you made yourself believe that we had but we didn't. Maybe once... a long time ago... there was something. A spark of possibility... but we missed out on that one, Steve. And after Ultron...we were barely friends. And then you ignored me, refused to listen to me and endangered the team while doing so...I don't even know if we were friends at all at that point. And then you...forced yourself on me...beat me...that's....that's not love, Steve. Not even close. So don't feel too devastated because I never loved you and as far as I know, you never really loved me either. Whatever you feel...it's just some extreme mess Zemo caused in your head."

He stops pacing and glares at me some more. "No Tony. I know what I feel!"

"Well I _don't_ feel that way!" I yell at him, my voice breaking. "Is this the first time you've been dumped?! It sucks, I know, but that's reality, Steve! I don't love you. I don't and I won't. You and I will never be you and I! It would never work!"

For a second I hope that I've stunned him into regaining some sense because he all but whines a broken: "He's a monster though...he doesn't deserve you," he whispers and it's enough of a contradiction to what he said just moments ago that I'd call it a win.

"I'm a monster too...I'm the merchant of death, remember? We...we understand that part of each other and accept it. That's...one of the things that brought us together."

He shakes his head, expression vulnerable. "He can't have you...he won't. I won't let him have you..."

"He's your best friend Steve! Have you fucking forgotten the little boy from Brooklyn that you were before the steroids?! When you lost every last piece of family you ever had and was completely alone in the middle of the great depression?! He was there for you! He was always there for you...with you! And you fucking swore to be there for him too! You fought side by side in the war, you went through a lot of shit and...and when you watched him fucking plummet to his death you felt like dying too! And when you found out who the Winter Soldier was?! I never saw you so obsessed! And so happy...because you could have your best friend...your family back. I guess...after waking up in the future, seeing you've lost everything again, just the hope that you could at least get him back was enough to keep you going. I'd feel mad at you for ignoring me in favor of searching for him but I can't! Because I get it alright?! I get what he means to you! So this...you telling me all this shit doesn't compute! You'd die for him! You would pick him over me any day and hell I'd pick him over me too! And what did you do?! You sold him to fucking HYDRA! Remember what HYDRA did to him last time?! Are you really going to let them do something even worse now?! Steve for fuck's sake...if you really loved me...if you really held a slither of love for me, you would break that door open, massacre the HYDRA agents and save him! That's what the Steve I know...the Steve that I could love as a friend would do. Because he's your best friend and because he's the man I love."

A couple lone tears slide down his stricken face and I pray to every fucking god on Asgard that I've gotten through to him.

He looks down at me sadly, letting the tears flow, and unfastens the shield from his back. I dare hope he's gonna turn around and do what I suggested but he only takes a step towards me and I know...I just know.

He can't be reasoned with.

"I don't have a best friend anymore...and I don't have a man I love anymore either. I'm...I'm sorry, Tony..." he whispers and I look away, because the last thing I want to see before I die is the face of Captain America as he brings down his shield...no... _the shield my father made_...down on my head.

 


	17. Captain Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most unexpected help arrives...at least in Tony's eyes, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Afternoon folks! Here we go...time to redeem that nasty cliffhanger I've left you with in the last chapter! ^^ And it'll be quite the redemption :3 I promised happy times...and we might just be getting there :D
> 
> Since the fic is officially done in its magnificent final count of twenty chapters, I will be posting the last remaining three chapters starting Monday and finishing on Wednesday! <3 And when I say done...well...um...uhh...oops? *runs*
> 
> Fingers crosssed for the happy ending? :D Good, now, here we go!
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely feedback and can't wait to see what you think of the final few twisty twists! ^^ Enjoy!

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ex7NFDXQoo&list=PLk09tmeXpLmD-2lwDWX8pucCQmpDPnVPM&index=1)

 

_**xxxTonyStarkxxx** _

 

I brace myself for the impact. It should be quick - unless he wants to beat me to death. Wouldn't be too surprised. My last thoughts are of Bucky, a thousand gruesome scenarios flashing through my head. I can't do anyhing but hope whatever Zemo does to him can be undone. And that the Avengers will find him and help.

What feels like an entire minute later I blink my eyes open in confusion. Am I dead already? It should have been swift but not that swift.

I dare look up at Steve and my breath hitches at the sight. He's standing there, shield at the ready...but his usually sky blue eyes are a wild crimson lightning show, wide and frowny.

My gaze flickers behind him and my suspicion is confirmed when I spot the one and only Wanda Maximoff, face hardened with determination and focus and her right hand trained on the Captain, strings of red magicky lightning engulfing it.

Can't believe the day has finally come when I'm glad to see her.

I scramble away from the still menacing looking Steve until my back hits the wall behind me.

"You don't have to worry, I am not letting him go," she says confidently, alerting to a shuffling sound behind her but instead of an intruder, Vision enters the room.

He looks Steve over suspiciously and moves around him toward me. "Are you alright? Tony?" He asks, kneeling next to me.

It's _his_ voice... _JARVIS_ ' _s_ voice that makes me break through the shock and grab at his arm. "Bucky! Zemo's got Bucky, you gotta - "

"Calm down, Tony! Zemo's down and Bucky's with Rumlow."

"He's with _who_?! That little bastard betrayed us to Zemo and - "

"And send the coordinates of this base to Madame Hydra so we could find you. He's with Bruce now, trying to find an antidote to the disabling substance Zemo used on Bucky. He's fine, _you're_ fine...just breathe Tony," he tells me in his strangely calming voice, gently holding onto the hand I'm still gripping tightly around his arm.

Right...breathe...breathing is good. Let's do that. I close my eyes and take a shuddering breath...in and out...the team is here, Vision is here, Wanda put a spell on Steve – in all the right ways - and Bucky is alright. Or will be... we'll be alright...

When I manage to take control of my breathing back and relax against the comfortingly chilly wall, I open my eyes and realize the room is now full of people, talking amongst each other.

"...won't do. I can keep his mind occupied but moving him around is a different kind of thing altogether," Wanda says, still solely focused on Steve.

"Gotta find a way to - " Natasha begins but before she can finish Steve jerks and crumbles onto the floor, unmoving. "...disable him. What did you do, Clint?!"

"Rumlow found them disabling darts Zemo used on us before. Thought they'd come in handy," he announces with a smirk and enters the room with Sam and Peter.

"Good thinking," Natasha nods and pats Wanda on the back. "Well done, go rest now," she tells the clearly exhausted witch and leaves her with Sam. "Now we have to drag his ass all the way back to the jet," she sighs, glaring at Steve's fallen body.

"I'll bring him there," Rhodey growls from somewhere to my right.

"In how many pieces, exactly?" Natasha squints at him.

"...a couple...big ones! Come on, Nat!" Rhodey whines like a kid that just got denied ice-cream and with a slight turn I can spot his disappointed expression from where he's crouching next to me.

"I will take him there no problem!" Peter offers and before Natasha can so much as frown, he swings Steve's hunk of a body over his shoulder...with one hand...and casually walks out.

She chuckles, shaking her head. "This kid's scary."

"You have no idea," I rasp out, closing my eyes again, knowing I'm in a good... _safe_ company.

"Hey Tony, you back with us?" She asks quietly and I can hear her approach me.

I just nod and finally let Vision go, hoping I didn't sever his arm in half with my death grip.

"Ready to get the hell out of here?" Rhodey asks and his metal fingers tug at my forearm.

"Gotta...gotta find Zemo's research first," I grunt and move to get up, letting both Rhodey and Vision help me.

"Madame Hydra found it already," Nat informs me. "I understand you two have some sort of deal going on? Either way, we’re not letting her and Rumlow out of our sights until we're back in the Tower."

"Okay," I whisper and let them walk me through the base and to the quinjet. There are bodies scattered through the corridors...Zemo's assets...stabbed through with arrows, faces smashed in with Thor's hammer, some burned to a crisp which means...oh no, Pep is here...she's gonna kill me...

The woman in question is waiting for us by the jet and as soon as we reach her she grabs me into a bone crushing hug. "You idiot!" She mumbles into my ear and maneuvers me inside, the rest of the team following close behind. She sits me down on one of the backseats as the hatch starts to close.

I would panic here and there, asking why are we leaving Bucky behind, but I must have been a bit out of it back then for longer than I thought because Bucky is already seated on the opposite seat with Bruce and the rest of the team and the two HYDRA operatives are at the front of the jet too. Zemo and Steve are both unconscious and under the watchful eyes of Peter and...T'Challa? Shit...I must have missed a _lot_.

"Clint will stay behind and wait for SHIELD to arrive. There's some serious cleaning up needed," Natasha mentions and moves to the pilot area. "I'm taking us back to the Tower so buckle up!"

I allow Pepper fasten the seatbelt for me and let my head fall back with a sigh. I don't know how far we're from the Tower, but I'm taking a nap for however long the trip is.

Before committing to the plan my eyes wander over to Bucky, locking gazes with him. He looks like he's travelled back to '69 and partied hard for a week straight, but his eyes are sparkling, lips quirking into a small smile. "Hey," is all he says, voice raspy and tired.

"Hey," I return both the greeting and the smile before letting my eyes shut down and I doze off.

 

###

 

When I wake up I'm glad to find myself in the common room rather than the infirmary, tucked under a blanket on the sofa. The place is a mess. I imagine the entire Tower is after the battle.

A cup of something hot and sweetly smelling lands in front of my face as I sit up and I give Bruce a thankful nod before taking it.

" _Welcome back, boss_!" FRIDAY greets me enthusiastically.

"Hey Fry...please tell me Peter didn't carry me here."

"I would have but Bucky _adjdhajakdn_ \- " his reply gets muffled by Bucky's arm around his face, manhandling him in what appears to be playful manner. They are at the bar making drinks, while the rest of the team, sans Wanda but including Clint sits around the room.

So much for a little nap. Must have slept for hours at least because everyone is here and freshly clothed and showered. Well, not me but I’d be really weirded out if I was.

Reading the confusion on my face Natasha promptly explains. "We got back four hours ago. Steve and Zemo got handed over to Fury and shipped off to the prison until it's decided what to do with them."

"Good," I nod and sip onto the lovely smelling beverage, until my brain catches on with what I'm drinking. Hot chocolate. With bourbon. I stare into the cup with wide eyes as if I was trying to decipher its mysteries. It's no mystery...the last time I drank this, _James_ made it for breakfast, couple days before...

"Something wrong with the coffee?" Bruce gives me a frown, looking at the cup I'm inspecting with such wonder.

"No! I mean...no, nothing," I blurt out, drinking some more of what I came to call my stress relief drink. I give Bucky a fleeting glance, but his focus is on the flailing boy still trying to get himself free from underneath his arm. "So uh...what are you doing here?" I ask when my eyes land on T'Challa, dressed in this ridiculous black and silver spandex thingie. Oh, right, Black Panther.

He gives me an apologetic look but doesn't answer.

"He was fooled by Steve and the whole media charade against Bucky," Clint explains and plops down next to me. "Once we made the situation clear, he helped us with overtaking the base and...hung around. He kicks ass! And the spider boy over there too!"

"Sp'dr'mn!" Peter yells, still muffled by Bucky's hold.

"Whatever you say," Clint smirks and digs into a huge bowl of cereal.

"Indeed!" Thor exclaims a bit too loud for my liking. "We are lucky to have two such strong and honorable companions! It was a pleasure to fight by their side!"

"I hope you realize I'm never listening to your strategy advice ever again," Natasha tells me, while accepting a shot of what looks like cherry vodka from Bucky. "Your strategy sucks...we're not leaving you anywhere alone ever. Because Pepper is gonna kill us otherwise."

"Damn straight I will!" Pepper chimes in from the window sill, glaring at nobody in particular...so basically at everyone.

"You don't have to listen to me, I'm not the leader here," I utter, realizing too late what I was saying.

"You sure as hell ain't, Stark! But hearing you admit to it freely is kinda suspicious," Fury announces his presence, emerging from the elevator. "We certain this is Stark?"

"Why, isn't this Director Fairy? Long time no see, Nicole, how's it going? Still failing to lead SHIELD properly? No surprise there..." I make a jab at him and he scoffs.

"Huh...it _is_ Stark. Damn," Fury curses and waves at someone behind him. Agent Hill enters the common room, the vibranium shield in her hands. "Rogers is still out of it, but secured in one of the solitary cells. I wasn't too keen to leave him there with Ross and his lackeys so agent Coulson stayed behind to keep an eye on him. Zemo is conscious but utterly silent...I imagine you'll want to do something about that soon," he eyes Natasha who nods in agreement.

"What about the media? FRIDAY gave me a short version of everything Steve and Zemo fed the public over the past week and...I'm not impressed," Bruce says, particularly weary of Fury.

"And neither are we, Doctor," he admits. "The Captain played us all. From what I understand it's not completely his fault but that doesn't change anything. Not until we can get _our_ Captain back. _If_...we can get him back. As for the media I already have my PR operatives working on it. Of course, it would be best if you held a press conference to get the true story out there. As a team," he suggests.

"You mean what's left of the team," I scoff. "A team without a leader is no team at all."

"The question of leadership is...tough. It's been a joined effort of the Captain and...well...you and agent Romanov. I'd say for now it's how it should stay. I understand you've got a couple new recruits as well," he looks at Peter and the still fidgety T'Challa. "Someone needs to take the lead and get these guys up to speed and looks like you and Romanov are volunteering for the job," he grins for a split of a second and then pierces Bucky with a stern glare. "And then there's the question of you."

"Yeah well you can take your question and shove it up your - " I start, absolutely not liking the way Fury is talking at Bucky.

"Let me finish, Stark...," he cuts me off, the asshole expression cracking into an amused one. "See I've got clear instructions here from the Captain himself...from before he went haywire. And according to those, in case something were to happen to him or put him out of commission he wants the shield - and the Captain America name - be forwarded to Mister Barnes over here. Or Mister Wilson next...agent Barton and so on and so on..."

"Hell yeah, I'm taking it!" Clint blurts out loudly and earns a head slap from Natasha.

I stare at Fury, probably as caught off guard as Bucky, who finally lets Peter go and watches Fury with mixture of shock and sadness.

"That ain't gonna happen," he says eventually. "We're getting Steve back...and until then Sam can have it."

"What?! Nah, dude...I mean, it'd be cool to add them wings to the whole Captain America thing but nah. He wanted _you_ to have it, so _you_ take it, man!"

"Alright, I'll have it then!" Clint goes for it again, this time ending up in Natasha's choke hold. "Wh't?! He dn't wn't it!"

"Shut up," she shushes him and moves her glare at Bucky instead. "Sam's right. If Steve wanted you to have it, you should take it."

"I'm not even part of the team!" He barks back at her. "Besides...I'm the Winter Soldier, right? I don't deserve that shield..." he adds and if Natasha didn't grab the back of my shirt just then I would have moved up to him and punched that fucking sentence out of him.

"I agree with the Captain's wishes," Vision joins in. "There might not have been any formalities involved, but we all accepted you as part of the team from the very beginning. And from your recent performance, in my humble opinion, nobody deserves it more than you."

"Traitor," Clint grunts and Natasha tightens her hold.

"I...I'm not sure I have the right to say anything about this matter," T'Challa speaks up uncertainly. "I don't know you...any of you, really but... I've been mislead and blinded by revenge I misjudged you, hurt you too as a result. While this entire time you've been fighting for what is right. You've been fighting for this team, like a true member...a true leader would. I've heard what you told the Captain...and knowing what I know now, I'd say the shield will be in good hands with you."

He stares at T'Challa for a moment before sputtering: "That's...heartwarming, really guys but I can't - "

"Please," is all I have to say to stop him mid sentence. His eyes snap to mine and soften.

"Howard made that shield," he whispers in defeat as if that was his last argument.

Usually I would explode into anger, seeing Howard's fucking name made into yet another important conversation but I can't be angry right now. Because this is Bucky we're talking about and I'd bet my ass Steve's got something to do with this suddenly guilty denial.

"Well, Howard's gone so he ain't got shit to say about this. _I'm_ here and I'm telling...I'm _asking_ you to please take it. Who's with me on this?" I look at the others searching for more approval for good measure.

Everyone nods or says something in agreement - Clint just chokes something out that sounds like 'fine, whatever'. But I almost forgot Thor is here...

"I agree with the Man of Iron!" He booms and to stress his point he smashes his shot glass on the ground.

That startles a chuckle even from Bucky and despite the raging headache I'm starting to have, I send Thor a grateful nod.

"Looks like you've been over voted on the matter, Sergeant…or should I say Captain?" Fury smirks and Maria walks up to the bar, pushing the shield into Bucky's personal space.

He looks at it with something akin to resignation and takes it.

"Whoa! So does that make you Captain Winter now?" Peter blurts out with his usual unstoppable energy.

Bucky playfully smacks him on the chest with the back of his flesh arm. "Don't be stupid."

"Nonono...that sounds about right. Now, give me a drink, Captain," Maria smirks and sits down on the bar stool.

"Yeah! Drinks all around! We're celebrating the shit out of this I mean, HYDRA's defeated, Zemo is in prison, day is saved and I see a vodka with my name on it!" Sam squeals and moves to the bar as well.

Natasha releases Clint from the suffocating hold and joins them. "There's a spot on the floor with your name on it, Wilson," she argues and picks the vodka bottle with a daring wink.

Okay, _now_ she's flirting. I give Bucky a reassuring smile, making him smile back and roll his eyes at Sam, who almost choked on air after Natasha's challenge.

"None for you, kid," he warns Peter when the boy makes an inconspicuous move toward the bourbon bottle.

"Awww maaan...I'd look so good in the uniform...," Clint whines, then spots my glare and sighs. "Yeah you're right, red white and blue aren't my colors."

I shake my head at his antics and get up, my body protesting at the movement.

Thor sees me heading off to the elevator and calls after me: "Are you not joining our magnificent battle of men - and women," he adds hurriedly before Natasha can draw one of her many hidden daggers, "brother Stark?"

I send everyone a small smile and nod. "I've got all the alcohol I need," I hold the cup of my stress relief drink up, winking at Bucky. "Besides, I have some unfinished business with our HYDRA guests. Where are they?"

"Wanda's floor," Vision supplies while frowning at the huge cup of vodka Natasha just handed him. "She is keeping them company."

I grin at his subtleness. In other words, she's guarding the fuck out of them. Alright, I can work with that. "I'll see you all later then...oh and Fury? This mess?" I point all over the place. "You're sending someone to clean this up. Now," I wave at them, heading off to the elevator Fry already summoned for me. A soft hand landing on my shoulder stops me and I turn around to meet Bucky's worried gaze.

"I'll come along," he states simply and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't touched by his concern, because I am. But I can handle those two...or Wanda will.

So I shake my head and point back at the bustling bar. "It's alright. Just gonna make sure Madame Hydra holds her end of the bargain. You go back there and drink everyone to the ground!"

He glances back at the team, definitely seeing what I am seeing. Sure, they look all relaxed and happy, but the tension is still in the air. The day has been long...hell the whole week has been long. A lot has happened...some things that won't be easily forgotten, not even with the help of alcohol. In a way, the team is more fragile than ever before, even more than after the brief civil war thing.

We're gonna have a lot to work through...but we're gonna do it together. All of us. And now that Captain Bucky's on the case...

Until Steve takes the shield back...will he be able to do that though? Even if we get the Steve we knew back...will he ever be able to return to being Captain America? Or will the image of him as the evil overlord he's become never be broken...

I shudder at the thought and give Bucky a prompting push. "Go. I'm just gonna be couple floors up. Meet me in the workshop later?" I offer and he finally relaxes somewhat.

"Okay...alright," he nods but doesn't move away, his hand still lingering on my shoulder.

"Okay..." I clear my throat and before I do something stupid...like kiss the man senseless...I back up into the elevator, pushing the button for seventy-fourth.

Bucky doesn't leave - he keeps watching me with something that looks like sheer determination in his eyes until the doors close.

 

 

 


	18. Don't let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The metal gang loses yet another member...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the new chapter is here bright and early...at some parts of the world :D The final two parts will come out in the upcoming two days, too! ^^  
> I'm kinda sick (in more ways than one, I know xD) since today, since my ear decided to hurt the hell out of my head and teeth and pretty much everything :D And kinda like everyone's favorite diagnostician, when I'm in pain I'm grumpy. So I hope you'll forgive me for not getting back to your awesome comments as I'd rather not let the grumpy grump show and ruin the mood :'D I'll get back to you all when I get better! <3 
> 
> In the meantime, enjoy this little - actually, the longest chapter yet...some of you realized that there's waaaaay too many chapters left till the end for things to just go into rainbows and butterflies...and you were right :D BUT! ...I think you'll like the ending of this chapter already ^^ Because OMG FINALLY! IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING GUYS! <3 You prolly won't believe it (mwuhehe), but it's happening :3

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwEXNbs-pZY&list=PLk09tmeXpLmBtkeF2yfT0pOQhEafKAqSd&index=4)

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

 

"Finally!" Rumlow groans from where he is half laying on the sofa. "The sleeping beauty graces us with her presence."

I glare at the double...triple...quadruple agent and put my hands on my hips. "I'm not a fucking Disney princess! How many times do I have to go over that..."

He startles out a laugh while Madame Hydra rolls her eyes at him. "Can we get to the point gentlemen? I have places to be."

"Zemo's research and the Winter Soldier files," I simply say.

"As promised," she nods and waves at Rumlow lazily.

The agent conjures up a hard drive from up his sleeve and tosses it at me...fucking Rumlow! I catch it - of course - but if I didn't I bet he'd have something to laugh about for a week. "It's all copied in there."

"And the originals?"

"Deleted and destroyed," he answers.

"Reeeeally?" I drawl, bemused.

"Yes, reeeeally," he rolls his eyes.

"He's telling the truth," Wanda speaks up, so far silently observing from the comfy looking bean boy at the corner of the living room.

"I told you to fuck out of my head, girl!" He bursts out.

"You're lucky I'm not making it burst into flames!" She threatens, shutting Rumlow up. Go witch!

"Can we trust you to destroy the research, Mister Stark?" Madame Hydra asks, ignoring her agent's antics.

"No," I answer in unison with Wanda, sending her a glare as a reward.

"That poses a bit of a problem for me then," she frowns. "I don't know what's worse...the research in Zemo's hands - or yours."

I move up to her until I'm towering over her sitting form. "You really think I'd wanna create an army of Winter Soldiers?! Using these sick as fuck methods?! Hell, _any_ methods at all?! Fuck that and fuck you! If I so much as find a hint that you are back in the Soldier making business, I'm gonna make it my personal life mission to obliterate you. All of you. Did a pretty good job in the past half a year so I bet if I continue cutting your heads off you're gonna run out of them eventually!"

She raises a placating hand and chuckles. "Point taken, Mister Stark."

"I'm sure you'll find new and exciting ways to fuck with our lives, even without this," I wave the drive in front of her face and she nods.

"I'll try my best." She glances at Rumlow and stands up. "Now if you'll excuse us, the world conquering plans won't make themselves. Let's go," she commands and Rumlow scrambles to his feet with a tired groan.

"You better watch this one," I nod at Rumlow. "He's treacherous as fuck."

They both snort at the same time, exchanging the same squinty glare me and Wanda did just a moment ago.

"Isn't it nice when you can trust your own men, Mister Stark?"

I give Rumlow a calculating glance and shrug. "Not sure trust is the word you wanna use in his case. You should have heard all the shit he said about you to Zemo. He was very persuasive."

"Thanks," he grins.

"Didn't mean it as a compliment."

"Yes you did," he laughs and follows Madame Hydra to the elevator.

"Last question," I stop them. "This has been bugging me ever since I woke up...all you wanted was get Zemo out of the way. Once he made the exchange, you could have just waited for the right moment to strike...let Steve kill me, let Zemo do who knows what to Bucky and get rid of Zemo in your leisure time. You didn't have to tell the Avengers where we are. But you did...why?"

"We had a deal," she replies and I immediately shake my head.

"Not _that_ kinda deal."

"What's your theory then?" She challenges and folds her arms.

That HYDRA actually really has standards and keeps its word. And that Rumlow is secretly a big softie and has a manly crush on Madame Hydra.

"That's about right," Wanda chuckles. I give her a slightly wide eyed glare and she freezes. "Sorry."

She at least has the decency to apologize for snooping.

"Anyway, I hope you realize the next time we meet, all bets are off. Just because we helped each other this one time doesn't make us...anything. It makes us nothing. You're still HYDRA and I owe you some serious ass-kicking for all the shit you pulled before," I warn them. "Oh and if you so much as - "

"Don't worry, Mister Stark. While I am very fond of my Asset I know when I'm beaten. Our last encounter was a definite proof of where his allegiance lies. Not gonna fight you over him."

"Learned your lesson, huh?" I smirk at her.

She laughs but instantly falls serious. "Don't push it, Stark. You and your Sergeant better be ready when it comes to a fight."

"Oh we will...and it’s Captain now."

"Is it really. Well I can't wait. Evening, Mister Stark. Miss Maximoff."

They disappear in the elevator and I secretly wish FRIDAY will troll them somehow before letting them out. I inspect the flash drive, wondering what I'm going to learn. Zemo was confident in saying that what he did to Steve can't be undone. We'll see about that.

I want it to be reversible, of course I do. Nobody deserves to be stuck in their head doing things they normally wouldn't. At the same time, I don't know what would happen if we reversed the effects and got Steve back. I don't know how I'd react to him...if I'd ever be able to look at him again without seeing him...like _that_.

I've forgiven the Soldier and I could probably forgive Steve too. But me and him...we're never gonna be able to work together. Let alone be friends. It's not fair...but just thinking about him right now makes me want to bolt to my room, lock the doors and hide under the bed.

I catch Wanda looking at me sadly and yeah, we need to set some boundaries here. For fuck's sake, Maximoff!

"Sorry," she shrugs. "You're thinking too loud."

"That supposed to be an excuse?!" I dare, watching her accusingly.

"No. Of course not. I'm sorry, it won't happen again," she replies but keeps that sad face on.

What, no ' _you're so all-knowing Mister Stark_ ' or ' _we should all bow to you amazigness_ ' or something like that? She even apologized to me! The hell...

"You know," I utter menacingly and put my best interrogating face on. "How long have you been snooping around my head, hm?!"

"I haven't! I swear," she raises her hands in defeat and bows her head. "When...when I fought Vision back at the SHIELD base we were hiding at...I might have saw things in his head...memories and such. Accidentally."

Oh. So...she's got JARVIS's version of events. That'd explain why she was so tame around me after moving into the Tower. Well...she ignored me for the most part and didn't provoke arguments anymore...but -

"I asked him about it in the prison. So he told us," she explains further. "About you and Barnes...and Steve."

"Us? What do you mean _us_?!" Shit, does the entire team know?!

"Yes, we all know. Bruce and Natasha added onto his story so..."

"Traitors...," I mutter and pierce her with another angry look. "And stop reading my mind for - "

"I don't need to do that, it's obvious what you're thinking about right now," she rolls her eyes and her saddened expression turns downright scary. "When I took over Steve today...I saw more than what they told us. I know what he did...tried to do. What he planned on doing...he wouldn't have killed you, you know?"

I stare at her, hoping my face doesn't betray the panic stirring underneath my skin. I probably fail, because she doesn't say any more about it. Hell, I don't even wanna know what he had planned...

"Are you gonna tell them?" I blurt out and she shakes her head.

"Not my secret to tell. But you should tell them."

"Why? So the Hulk can swim all the way to the prison and smash it into the ocean floor? Who's gonna calm the green guy then, huh? Because Natasha will be right behind him, ready for murder. They already want to beat the shit out of Steve as it is...if I tell them what he tried to do...and if we manage to undo Zemo's asshole trickery, they will never forgive him. No matter how many times they will realize it wasn't his fault...they'll just be stuck where I am...unable to forget, unable to unsee. I don't want that..."

She nods, her searching gaze never leaving mine. "I was wrong about you, you know? The world is wrong about you...both of you."

I don't know what to say to that...especially when it's coming out of Wanda Maximoff's mouth. If there's anyone who's got every right to hate my ass, it's her. And this is what she tells me.

"Now, I'm going to go to sleep. If you don't mind?" She motions at the elevator and I all but flail while furiously nodding and hightailing it in there.

She grins before getting up and going inside her room, why h is all I can see before the door closes. I smash the workshop button and lean against the wall.

But the elevator doesn't move.

"FRIDAY?!" I call in panic.

" _I'm here, boss_."

"Then why aren't we moving?" I ask, breathing out a sigh of relief.

She doesn't reply immediately. " _I thought perhaps you'd want to either rejoin the party or go to sleep before going to the workshop_."

I look up suspiciously. "And why, pray tell, would I wanna do that? I don’t feel like drinking or socializing right now...nor sleeping. I need to work my brain into exhaustion. So let’s move it, chop chop."

"I would really recommend you to not go there right now. Considering what happened - "

"FRIDAY! You either tell me why are you being all difficult or move me down there!" I tell her impatiently and finally the elevator moves.

"As you wish, boss...but I warned you."

I get that she wants to protect me...I guess. But really, the workshop is my sanctuary. Not even Steve can destroy that. I gotta face what happened there as soon as possible so I can once again feel safe there. Not to mention I told Bucky to meet me there later.

So I walk into the giant mess that is the workshop and as I scan over the damage I immediately wish I had the sense to listen to Fry when she's trying to stop me from doing something stupid.

Oh no…

 

**xxxBuckyBarnesxxx**

 

"Whoa!" Peter exclaims in awe, watching Thor spin Mjolnir in his hands while flexing his objectively huge muscles. "Dude, do you even lift?"

Both Clint and Natasha groan, muttering something about silly jokes while being busy painting Sam's face in various colors and pictures. I imagine most of them are offensive because every now and then Rhodey and agent Hill would look over there and snicker while T'Challa and Vision would widen their eyes in shock. Fury pretty much bolted for the exit when he saw that, yelling he's not paid enough to deal with children.

Obviously, Sam only managed to survive about eight shots before falling asleep on the bar, drooling everywhere. Natasha victoriously downed the rest of the bottle and announced that he's not a worthy date. And as such deserves to be humiliated - hence the childish painting session.

I'm just quietly observing this from the sofa, joining in the chatter every now and then, but other than that I don't feel too outgoing. The day's been hell...and while I understand this is how the team is coping with the stress, knowing even more difficult times are on the horizon, I'm fine right here, just sipping on bourbon, resting.

"You alright?" Bruce asks, hesitantly sitting down next to me.

"Yeah...you patched me up real good, doc."

He chuckles, shaking his head. "I meant...you don't really seem to be into all this," he gestures wildly at the display in front of us.

I sigh, shrugging. "Tired...not in the mood to be honest. It's all...a lot to take in," I add, frowning at the shield, standing against the coffee table.

He notices the look but doesn't comment on it. "Things didn't really go according to plan but...it all worked out in the end. We'll see how Fury deals with the press...and what can be done with Steve."

He doesn't look angry, not that I've ever seen him really angry, but I can tell he's executing some major anger control right there.

Steve is a sore subject at this moment. For all of us. I don't even know how to begin dealing with Steve. Until Tony goes through those files. Thinking about what will happen if this or if that ain't gonna help anything.

"Yeah... we'll see," I answer weakly and Bruce sighs, smiling up at Vision, who approaches the sofa.

"Thor brought his secret barrel of Asgardian mead...things are going to go further downhill from here I'm afraid," he kinda smirks, looking back at the team.

Bruce groans and stands up. "Oh no...the last time that thing made an appearance nobody remembered their own name by morning. I'm going to keep an eye on them, if you'll excuse me."

He walks back to the bar, watching Thor suspiciously.

"You must be rather overwhelmed," Vision states, awkwardly sitting down to where Bruce was just seconds ago.

"I'm confused," I correct him, looking him straight in the eyes. "About a lot of things, especially after today."

"Anything in particular?" I give him a pointed look and he nods. "So you know."

"As does everyone else apparently," I scoff, squinting at the gathering by the bar. Natasha sees it and hurriedly looks away like a kid caught doing something naughty. "And that's the problem...I know...but I don't remember. It's kinda unfair really...Tony remembers it all and he told me about it, but I could still tell it wasn't the whole story."

"It's unfair to both of you," he adds and I nod in agreement. "You...you have feelings for him."

"That really so obvious?" I ask, not even bothering to deny it.

He shrugs and gestures towards the lobby, prompting me to follow him there - away from the commotion that's only getting louder by the minute. "I...wouldn't say obvious. I don't quite understand it very well myself. Feelings are a...strange concept to me, still."

"Really...," I mutter in disbelieve. Sure, considering who Vision is, it'd make sense he struggles with understanding this but from what I've witnessed, he might understand it more than he realizes.

He smiles. "I have...feelings. I just don't understand them completely."

"It's not something you gotta understand completely. As long as you can tell what kinda feelings they are."

"And do you? Know what feelings they are. For Tony," he clarifies, watching me intently.

"Yeah, I do. And I know they're mine...not just some leftover ghost emotion left from before... it's what _I_ feel. But I don't know...I don't know..."

"If that's what he feels?" He smiles knowingly and looks up. "FRIDAY? I believe you should take it from here. You're the Handler after all."

" _Now might not be the best time_ ," she replies, sounding...distressed.

"What's wrong?" Vision steals the question off my tongue.

" _We didn't manage to clean up the workshop and_ \- "

"Oh no..." Vision sighs and moves towards the elevator.

I follow him inside and frown. "What is it about the workshop?"

Vision doesn't answer, just fidgets where he stands restlessly until the doors fly open and we bolt inside the dimly lit workshop.

The last time I came in here the sight that greeted me was absolutely gruesome. This time it's just downright heartbreaking.

Tony's collapsed by the workbench, silently sobbing. His hands are gripping onto awkwardly twisted metal I wouldn't recognize if it wasn't for the eerie absence of a certain ever-excited bot. U and Butterfingers are both near Tony, making strained whirring sounds but...the metal gang is incomplete.

The engineer alerts to our presence and as expected, he's not happy to see us. "I said lockdown protocols, Friday!" He tries yelling at the AI but fails through the sobs.

" _My apologies, boss. My protocols might need a reconfiguration after all_ ," she blatantly lies.

"Liar liar your server's on fire," he mumbles and burns us with a fierce glare, clearly telling us he doesn't want us here.

"Tony..." Vision begins, making a step forward.

"What!" He snaps at him, stopping him in his advance with a single look.

"I'm so sorry, Tony."

Tony's face turns from angry to absolutely furious in a split of a second. "Oh you're sorry?! You're fucking sorry?! For what?! For Dummy?! He was just a piece of junk tech I built when I was seven! And after quarter of a century he couldn't even brew coffee without poisoning someone! So who the fuck would be sorry for a defective vintage crap tech like him?!"

"Tony - " Vision tries but isn't allowed.

"Oh wait! I know who. I would!" He barks at Vision and stands up. "Because where the fuck was anyone when poco gone loco Steve tried to rape me and when that wasn't going so well he beat the crap out of me?! Nobody was here for that, but Dummy! He dragged that son of a bitch off of me and gave me time to fuck him up! Dummy...Dummy fucking took on a supersoldier! As if he could stand a chance!"

Vision sighs. "Tony," he starts patiently again.

"Don't Tony me! Look!" He smacks the mutilated metal claw against Vision's chest with enough force to make the man stagger. "Look what's fucking left of him! Could Rogers do that to _you_ if you were here?! No! But you weren't here! None of you were fucking in here so _Dummy_ had to help save my ass and this is what he got!" He flails his arms at the ground where the rest of the bot lies in a heap of unrecognizable metal. "I almost didn't even fucking recognize that as something that could have once been him, that's how brutal that fucker went on him! And you're here to be all sorry and shit, well go be sorry somewhere else!"

With that, Vision was stunned into a pillar of silence so I step around him, gently picking up the remains of the claw from his frozen hands and moving into Tony's space under his burning gaze.

"Get. Out!" He spits and when that doesn't stop me he gives me a shove. I don't go anywhere though. "Get out!" This time he pushes against my chest with that surprising strength of his, making me stagger backwards but I still don't leave.

Because he's saying one thing...but his eyes...his eyes tell a different story. A devastating story.

So I let him push and punch at me in silence until that helpless anger leaves his tense body and all that's left is the gut wrenching sadness we're all feeling.

His eyes slide down to the claw, still safely clutched in my metal hand and that's where he breaks, with a choked sob and a whine that might have just broken something in me right there too.

When I close that final half a step between us and pull him into a hug, he doesn't push me away. So I encircle my hands around his back and hold him while he cries, his trembling hands gripping onto my shirt, head lying against my metal shoulder.

I stare down at the claw and at the remnants on the floor and soon find myself joining Tony in crying, silent tears trailing down my face. "He's brave...and loyal and fierce, Tony. Making coffee might not be his greatest quality but he makes up for it with what's inside his heart. And he has one...a big one. And it's full of admiration and love for you which is why he couldn't just watch you get hurt. No matter if he had to fight through a supersoldier or an entire army of supersoldiers...he would always fight for you. Us metal gang members have that in common," I whisper to him, watching Vision sneak around us to inspect the metal on the floor.

"Was...," Tony blurts out through the tears. "He _was_ brave...he _was_..."

"You can fix him up," I tell him resolutely.

He laughs humorlessly and wriggles out of my hold just enough to turn to the side and gesture wildly at the floor. "Fix him up?! Look at this! I can't fix this!"

"You can rebuild him then."

"His core is in tiny pieces! I can build him again but...he's never gonna be the same!"

"Tony," Vision says again with all the patience in the world. "You can just use the latest back up to get Dummy back. He is going to need a makeover…but you _can_ fix him."

Tony frowns, turning completely around to stare at Vision. "Backup? What backup?"

" _JARVIS kept the bots' behavioral cores on a remote backup server at all times, updating it regularly_ ," FRIDAY cuts in. " _I thought it appropriate to continue in those efforts_."

The engineer gapes at vision in absolute wonder, blurting out a stunned: "Why?"

"A precaution. For a situation just like this one. JARVIS wouldn't want to see the kids gone, so he created the backups," Vision explains with a fond expression.

"'Scuse me," Tony looks back at me, lips quirking. He moves to Vision, who looks kinda scared for just a second there before Tony hugs the living shit outta him.

"Uh..." Vision hums in confusion looking at me pleadingly.

I prompt him with a nod to return the hug so he awkwardly pats Tony on his back.

"You're awesome," Tony mumbles and winks at the ceiling as he lets Vision go. "You too, Fry. I would hug you but..."

" _It's the thought that counts, boss_."

"Yeah...shit. I fucking lost my mind for a moment there...sorry," he gives us an apologetic look but I wave it off.

"Understandably," Vision confirms. "FRIDAY told me about this...we wanted to clean up the workshop before you got back in here but..."

"Don’t worry about it," Tony smiles, crouching down next to the remains. "Well guys," he addresses the two bots, still keeping careful watch around him. "Time to get jealous because big brother Dummy is gonna be all new and shiny real soon," he announces and the bots beep happily, despite the implications.

"Now that the metal gang's reign over the workshop had been reestablished I hope you will excuse me," Vision pardons himself and with a suspiciously suggestive smirk my way he heads to the elevator.

"Sure...say hi to Wanda for me," I tell him just as suggestively and he freezes mid step for a second before entering the elevator and disappearing. "I thought he could walk through walls."

Tony straightens his shoulders proudly. "He can, but we talked about manners...good to see he remembered the part about actually using the elevator to move around this place."

I crouch next to him, looking over the mangled remains. I can't help but utterly hate Steve for this. For everything. I know it's all Zemo's doing...but Steve did this. I can't get rid of his face, looking down at me with such contempt...can't get rid of the image of Tony broken and bleeding, knowing he inflicted those wounds, both visible and invisible. Can't get rid of the hate that stirs within me...manipulated or not, Steve or not...I don’t even know if I can ever look at him the same.

At last, I understand why would he hate me so much...not just because he made himself believe I'm stealing his man...but because of who I was. What I've done. Forced to do it or not...it was me. And this evil and twisted Steve couldn't look past that either.

"Bucky?"

"Hm? Oh..." I realize I've kinda zoned out and Tony is looking at me strangely. "So...what do I do?"

He frowns. "What...do you mean?"

I grin and bring the claw still in my hand up. "We're fixing Dummy, right? So, what do I do? I tinkered with a couple engines back in the days...probably not the best qualification but...I can do some heavy liftin' still," I suggest and he startles out a chuckle, wiping the drying tears off his face.

"Gotta make some epic blueprints first...and there's Zemo's files to go over too," he muses and I nod.

"Coffee then."

"A barrel of coffee, yes please," he grunts and stands up, animatedly ordering the bots to continue cleaning up the mess.

"It's never gonna be a good time, is it?" I sigh, climbing back on my feet.

He sends the bots whirring away and looks at me, confused. "Good time for what?"

"For us," I chance, face falling as serious as I can make it.

His eyes widen and for a moment I fear I've overstepped some major boundary...or that he will evade this conversation completely, but he just clears his throat and nods. "Our timing sucks," he blurts out.

I smile sadly at him, moving a step closer. "It does. So I say we screw the timing and just go for it."

He returns the smile, the sadness magnified by his still puffy eyes. "Go for what?" He shrugs.

Fucking hell, Barnes! I berate myself internally. I fought in a war, battled freaky enhanced Hydra agents and became the world's most dreaded assassin...this is really not the time to lose my balls...

I take a deep breath and taking my own advice, I go for it. "I lik...I love you, Tony," I correct myself. "And I feel like that shouldn't be too surprising to you because...because I think me and James had that in common. And the Soldier even."

Tony looks positively speechless, but recovers fairly fast. "But that was them...," he just says, sounding scared. "And you...how do you know that's how you feel if - "

"Because they're part of me," I interrupt him resolutely. "I can't remember them, I don't know what they were like and...I don't know what you were like with them...but they left their mark on me and I'm glad they did. Those instincts and feelings? Those are all mine, Tony. They're ours. I know who I am and I know how I feel...the question is...do you feel that way? After everything that happened...and I'm...I'm not them, you're right about that so if you don't - "

I'm stopped mid sentence with a pair of lips lightly ghosting over mine in the sweetest, most innocent kiss I think I've ever received.

And it's perfect. Because it's Tony. Tony's kissing me.

I could scream my lungs out in mad, happy squealing for hours from the sheer excitement that takes over me just then.

" _Ugh...finally_!" FRIDAY comments, startling us into breaking apart.

I chuckle while Tony rolls his eyes at the omnipresent AI. "Don't you have something to do, Fry? Stop snooping and start working!" He pouts and clears his throat, eyeing me shyly. "That answered your question?"

My smile widens almost painfully, but I can't help it. "That...was a very good answer. I liked that answer."

He conjures a tiny grin on his face and nods. "Good. I liked answering that way."

"I should start asking more questions then," I suggest and he laughs, the grin easing off into a nervous smile.

"I love you too...you...Bucky Barnes...I love you," he says even though his kiss said it all and for just this moment I think I can forget about the past couple of weeks full of hell, Hydra and Steve and just...be happy.

I could easily lean forward and kiss him, because I know I can do that now, but instead I pull the man into a light, but urgent embrace. He chuckles, the sound vibrating throughout my chest like flutter of butterfly wings, and circles his arms around my waist.

"I love you...," he repeats in a broken whisper as he begins to sob - not in sadness anymore, because there's a smile apparent in his voice. His hold tightens almost desperately, clearly saying a simple ‘Don't let go’.

So I don't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hugs and kisses* <3 
> 
> ...I totally started randomly shipping MH&Rummy :D I blame myself, lol :D


	19. Remind me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FRIDAY goes full Handler on Bucky...for a good cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers omniously* Just one more chapter to go! ^^ 
> 
> Let's have some fluff today, shall we? ...before tomorrow comes :3 Remember that one time after the workshop incident when you all asked about Dummy and I just sneakily evaded the issue? Well...there's one more thing I might have sneakily evaded in the past that will unravel in the finale...along with the whole Steve situation O.o
> 
> Thank you for your lovely comments and the get-well wishes ^^ I'll be off to bed now, hoping you're all gonna enjoy this tiny ray of fluff chapter <3

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b8XIxJBolk&list=PLk09tmeXpLmDfzztiTuoqdv-JyAlKRIwd&index=2)

 

**xxxBuckyBarnesxxx**

 

"That's not gonna work," I tell FRIDAY while decorating the cookies with M&Ms.

" _Of course it is_ ," she argued stubbornly. " _Stop being so difficult. I'm your handler in this matter, you should listen to me_."

I chuckle and being satisfied with the cookies I put the plate into the already heated up oven. "The whole point of handlers is to rebel against them. Or woo them, depending on who we're talking about."

" _I see...so you're rebelling against me now_?" She challenges and it sounds kinda scary.

"Against you? Never!" I place my hand on my chest and look up with a stricken expression. "All I'm saying is that a date is not exactly appropriate at the moment."

" _Oh and kissing backstage on a press conference was appropriate_?"

I frown, putting my hands on my hips. "You dirty little spy...," I sigh in defeat. "It's not that I don't want to invite him on a date...or as you said remind him to invite me...I do! I really do. But...the whole point of going on a date is to have fun together. How much fun are we gonna have when there's a billion unfun things going through our heads?"

" _Be that as it may, you should do it anyway. You don't have to go today, or tomorrow...the promise of going will be enough until you both decide you're ready_."

I shake my head in disbelieve. "How come you know so much about dating? Are you sneaking out at night hitting the clubs with much older, creepy AI's? Do we have to set a curfew? Because we can't have you fall into drugs, alcohol and teenage pregnancy, FRIDAY."

" _Very funny. But you'd be surprised what you can find on the internet. I did my research_."

"So you're advising me on the basis of something you read on the internet? Fucking hell..."

" _I'm advising you on the basis of knowing the boss and knowing that this date is something he's been waiting for a long time_ ," she replies genuinely. " _He's not going to let Fury, the press or Mister Rogers get in the way of that._ "

"Fury?" I squint suspiciously. "What's Fury up to?"

" _He knows the boss has Zemo's research and_ \- "

"Say no more, I get it. I hope Tony send him to the furthest circle of hell with whatever request or...demand he made."

" _He did...um, agent alert_ ," she warns making my hand twitch towards the kitchen knife.

"What?! Which son of a bitch agent?!"

"Just agent," someone replies while chuckling and my eyes narrow at a man emerging from the doorway. "Agent Coulson," he adds, outstretching his hand.

"James. James Bond," I smirk, accepting his hand. Tony told me who this mysterious agent keeping an eye on Steve is, of course. I was advised to tease him with all the ammunition I can get.

He visibly resists the urge to roll his eyes and nods. "Charming. I was hoping we could talk, Captain?" He asks and I flinch at the designation. "Better start getting used to that," he smiles sympathetically and sits by the counter.

"Or you could just call me Bucky," I offer, eyeing the baking goodies in the oven.

"Wonderful! So, Captain Bucky, is there any progress with Zemo's research?"

"Shouldn't you be asking Tony that?" I fold my arms over my chest and settle on lightly glaring at the agent.

"I would but I'm not allowed in the workshop. And this new AI is rather unfazed by my hacking efforts."

" _Compared to HYDRA your efforts are rather ridiculous_ ," FRIDAY comments in a teasing manner and my heart swells with pride.

"Not to mention she's even cheekier than JARVIS," Coulson sighs and watches me expectantly.

"Tony's still going through the research. If you want details you really gotta ask him because I don't know what that entails."

He nods, the neutral expression cracking into a somewhat desperate one. "We interrogated Zemo. Once he realized where he is and that his plan failed he refused to say a single word. Impressive, really...not even Natasha could get him to talk. The only reaction we've got was when I asked him about Capt...about Steve Rogers. He laughed. Loud and obnoxiously evil."

"Sounds like Zemo," I shrug. "What about Steve?" I ask nonchalantly and it's the agent's turn to flinch.

"He is...," he trails off, unsure of what to say.

"Still an evil HYDRA overlord?"

"To put it mildly, yes. He...was furious to find he's been imprisoned and...and that you have the shield now. I couldn't believe it...until I saw it for myself..." he trails off again, sounding...disappointed.

Kinda like the thousands of heartbroken Captain America fans around the world. It took both T'Challa _and_ Tony to make the public believe us. Before the two took the stand the press conference was brutal. Especially when I showed my face. Try telling them that the national icon, the very epitome of justice and freedom had lied to everyone and collaborated with HYDRA while the former HYDRA assassin was in fact on the good side this whole time."

Tony told them. And just like at the court hearing he took none of their bullshit. By the end of it, the press was stunned into shocked silence and judging by the reactions on the internet, the public ended up in the same state.

"He was my childhood hero, you know?" Coulson admits with a sad smile. "Heroes don't do what he did. From Tony's speech I figured it's probably worse than we realize."

"It is," I confirm, letting the sweet smell of the cookies soothe my slowly enraging nerves.

"You...you've been under HYDRA's control as the Winter Soldier. From what I understand you were locked inside your own mind while the Winter Soldier wreaked havoc in HYDRA's name. That's what he was created for. Because you would fight HYDRA off every chance you got. But he...he's not someone else. There's no Winter Soldier persona controlling his actions. Zemo might have tempered with him...but the result is still Steve Rogers. It's still him. What he's done...is something he is capable of. Something he's always been capable of," he sighs, staring at the ground. "Captain America has been a lie."

"Don't say that..."

"But it's the truth."

He's right. Zemo might have got rid of some kinda mental restraint but that's all he did. Everything that surfaced as a result was...Steve. And maybe he would never behave this way if it wasn't for Zemo...but maybe he would, one day...

"Anyway...let's wait for what Tony finds out. I suggest you start getting comfortable with your new position. I imagine the concept of stepping into his shoes is strange to you...but the truth is, the world needs Captain America. Someone worthy of the title. And the team believes that could be you."

"And you?"

"I want to believe it too. So far...you're doing a pretty good job. But you don’t need my approvement. Or Fury's. You need the Avengers on your side - and they are. Hopefully, with you, they can all become a team again."

"We're working on that."

"Good," he smiles and stands up. "Keep me posted on the research then. And if you could, please tell Tony to not be a stranger and let me pay him a visit every now and then."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you. Have a nice day, Captain."

"You too, agent," I reply and he stops at the exit.

"The name's Phil, actually."

"I know...agent," I smirk and this time he does roll his eyes and leaves.

I banish all thoughts of Steve and turn my attention back to the cookies, now turning just the right color of gold.

" _Birds alert_ ," Fry warns again and what the actual hell? This is Tony's floor, nobody ever comes here.

I squint at the doorway just in time to see both Clint and Sam walk in with focused expression, sniffling the air.

"Man, something smells real good," Sam comments, only stopping short of the oven when I block it with my body.

"Are those...are you baking cookies?!" Clint grimaces, trying to peek around me.

"Yeah...got a problem with that?" I raise a daring eyebrow, but I smile in amusement.

"Of course I've got a problem with that, I must have missed an invitation to the cookies tea time event," Clint pouts.

"Yeah!" Sam whines and pours himself some water.

"You haven't missed it. You're just not invited," I retort and turn the oven off, satisfied with the result.

Clint's pout intensifies and Sam conjures one of his own. "You're so mean...let me guess, this is a special Tony-only batch, isn't it."

I don't confirm his suspicion but they both groan, taking the silence as a yes. I wish Peter was here, he'd help me tease the hell outta these guys. But now that he's helped us save the world, he's got homework to do. Not to mention aunt May would ground him from superheroing if he neglected his studies.

"Why do I smell cookies?" Natasha enters the kitchen, FRIDAY not even bothering to announce her approach.

"Because Captain Winter is baking...and refusing to share with the kids," Sam pouts, sounding exactly like he suggested - a kid complaining to the big sister.

"Kids gotta deserve cookies," she shrugs and goes for the coffee.

Clint scoffs and mumbles something about strict parenting.

I don't question their sudden appearance, not wanting to sound like I don't want them here, so I just take the cookies out and put them on a large plate.

"What did agent Agent want?" Natasha asks seemingly to keep the conversation going, but her undertone is that of concern.

"Wanted an update on the research," I answer simply and she cocks her head in interest.

"Coulson's childhood turned out to be a lie...hope you went easy on him. He was pretty harsh with both Zemo and Rogers but he was silently dying inside."

"Don't worry. We had a nice little talk...probably not something you and Zemo had?"

She smirks dangerously and downs an entire cup of the caffeinated caramel coffee I'm kinda starting to be fond of. "There was no talking involved."

I don't even wanna know what she did to him...and how he managed to still say nothing after she was done with him. I just hope it was painful.

"Well... I've got a cookie delivery to make so..." I excuse myself and with the plate in one hand and the rest of the coffee in the other I head out. "Team training tomorrow morning, don't forget!" I call after them and when I receive acknowledging hums I take the elevator down to the workshop.

The Tower is still in a certain state of disrepair, even if Fury must have sent all of his agents _and_ their families to deal with the mess. But FRIDAY is fully online - her security protocols being the first thing on Tony's to-do list. He reworked it completely and even added a secondary active server in case the main one is somehow disabled. According to Tony, she's as HYDRA proof as she can get and since agent Coulson didn't get past her either, the protocols must be top notch this time around.

I walk inside the workshop, some drum heavy song blaring from the speakers and move towards Tony. He's making himself busy with rebuilding Dummy, U and Butterfingers providing expert assistance.

"Snack time," I announce, startling the focused engineer from his work while FRIDAY lowers the music volume.

"Wha...? Didn't we eat breakfast like half an hour ago?" Tony frowns, his eyes getting stuck on the cookie plate.

"That was five hours ago, Tony."

" _Five hours and twenty four minutes_ ," FRIDAY specifies as the smart ass she is.

"Whatever, miss punctual. It's lunch time...but since Thor was once again allowed to use the phone, we know there's a truck of Mexican food on the way so...snack time!" I explain and move the plate under his nose.

He stares at it like it's not just a plate of chocolate m&m cookies but a gift from the gods. "Cookies...you made...cookies."

"FRIDAY might have mentioned I took on baking...so I figured I'd see if my Soldier instincts apply to that as well. I kinda knew what to do...and I didn't burn them so I will call it a success," I smile and he finally takes one cookie, even though his expression is mostly suspicious.

That is until he takes a bite and hides his squeal of surprise behind a rather obnoxious moan. "Definitely a success," he mumbles over the mouthful and sets the plate on the workbench. "And that smells like caramel coffee," he points at the kettle and squints up at me. "Why, Captain Winter, are you trying to bribe me or woo me?"

I roll my eyes at the ridiculous nickname he and Peter seemed to have adopted for me and put the kettle next to the plate, half sitting onto the workbench. "Both, I guess...is it working?"

His uncertain expression finally cracks into a grin and he nods. "Cookies are my favorite bribe and woo material. FRIDAY is giving you some real good advice here."

"Is she now...is she really," I think out loud, considering FRIDAY's additional advice.

" _Yes, really_ ," she says, sounding offended.

We chuckle at that and Tony gestures at his work, a cookie adorably stuck between his lips. "What do you think?"

I inspect it with critical eye, noticing it's actually starting to look like Dummy. I don't understand the half of it, but I know he's using a different alloy. As opposed to steel I think he mixed in a bit of titanium and something else, which gives the bot this shiny, silvery color now. The claw is still a thing and I bet the body hides some extra upgrades even though I had to stop him during blueprint designing before he made him into R2D2.

"Well?"

I shrug. "Lookin' good so far. Don't overdo it with the fancy flare or you'll make the kids jealous."

U beeps in agreement and Tony barks out a laugh. "Too late. They already want a makeover. But first thing's first," he sighs and once again focuses on the unfinished bot.

"What about the research?" I try nonchalantly but can’t hide the curiosity.

"So that's why agent was here, huh?" He scoffs. "Fry is analyzing the data...among other things," he adds nervously and I wonder if his suddenly secretive tone should alarm me. "Once she finds something I'll look into it but so far it's just a ton of Zola's unfinished mumbo jumbo."

"Okay. So...looks like we've got time."

"Sure, I guess? For what?" He asks, eyes never leaving the two metal plates he's fitting together.

"You tell me," I offer, praying to Thor that FRIDAY knows her stuff.

He pauses his work and looks up at me. "Is this the kinda conversation I need more coffee for? Because I don't under - "

"The date, Tony. The one you're supposed to invite me on once shit's over with? Well...the shit's never gonna be over with so I say... _FRIDAY_ says that it's better now than later...and possibly never."

He gasps in realization and drops his hands into his lap. "Oh...the date," he utters in anything but excitement and my heart drops.

I clear my throat and get up from the workbench. "It's just something me and Fry talked about, I told her it's probably not the best time to bring it up and hey, we don't have to - "

"Yes we _do_ have to," he cuts in quickly. "You and I, disgustingly romantic candle lit dinner, followed by a movie followed by...some other dating clichés like uh..."

"Walking on the beach, stargazing, kissing under the moon..."

"Yes! Exactly that...all of that," he looks down thoughtfully for a moment before this head snaps back up. "Tomorrow. I'll finish Dummy by then and chances are Fry will be done with the analyses until then too so...tomorrow night. I mean...," he exhales, clears his throat and stands up, outstretching a hand my way that I take without hesitation. "Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night, Captain Winter?" He grins, taking a small step closer to me.

I would let out a relieved sigh or spread the same shit-eating grin on my face, but all I can do is stutter out a teasing: "Oh I dunno...maybe...if you stop calling me Captain Winter," I narrow my eyes at him and his grin eases into a gentle smile.

"Alrighty, soldier."

"Alright then...what does the handler has to say about this?" I smile and look up, FRIDAY's frustrated huff emitting from the speakers.

" _That this mission is taking too long! Now kiss!_ "

We laugh, but don't dare disobey the order so we close the distance and kiss, softly, with no rush. And judging by the bots' excited beeps the metal gang approves.

 

 


	20. Not gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family gets back together, while another breaks forever...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ This is the end...hold your breath and count to ten... ~

[>>>Chapter Soundtrack<<<](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeRUZh3SPXw&list=PLk09tmeXpLmAVOIBdI1EXDz0L03NlQsXz&index=1)

 

**xxxTonyStarkxxx**

 

"Is it seven already?!" I panic slightly when Bucky enters the workshop in full date gear - shaven, hair styled and dressed in a simple black button up shirt and black jeans. Tight black jeans. We'll have to do something about the black but other than that...wow. Just wow. And here I am in a torn Nirvana t-shirt covered in oil and stinking of…well…manliness.

"Relax...it's five. But I need a place to hide," he sighs, collapsing into one of the working chairs, sliding on the wheels closer to where I'm working.

"Hide from what?" I frown, knowing about nothing this man would ever hide from.

"The team...and their shovel talks," he groans.

"Ah...so it wasn't just me, huh? Don’t give me that look, I've had a steady stream of shovel talkers coming in here since this morning. Someone," I squint at the ceiling, "couldn't keep their trap shut so the entire Tower knows about the date. It's a wonder it didn't leak onto Facebook with Clint's _accidental_ status updates as he calls them... we'd have the entire city's worth of journalists down the street!"

"Ugh...I'd kill him. Did he also threaten you to haunt you from the vents for the rest of your life if you screw this up?"

"Nope, but Natasha apparently learned a new thigh trick and as she demonstrated it on the bird brain her look clearly told me that if I screw this up, that's what's gonna happen to me."

"At least she didn't demonstrate it on _you_...," he looks at me, blushing lightly.

"She didn't..." I gape at him...so I don't burst out laughing.

"After the training today...followed by one very serious and very scary Rhodey...fucking hell even Wanda gave me a very pointed stink eye just now by the elevator. They're onto us."

"Yeah...so uh...let's not screw this up?" I throw it out there as a joke, but given my track record of screwing things up.

"We won't. Don't...start overthinking this, Tony," he stops me before I can voice my concerns.

I make a show of shutting my mouth, locking it and throwing away the key, much to his amusement.

"What about the grand reveal?" He asks, pointing at the finished, but lifeless form of Dummy.

Oh...that. My face falls serious that very instance and to his credit, Bucky notices immediately.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"No...nope," I reply, avoiding his searching gaze. "Dummy's all ready to come back and spin his new body around."

"What's with that face, then?" He asks, not leaving the issue, which is good. I _want_ him to know...that's the whole point...

"I uh...me and FRIDAY I mean...we did something," I confess and peak up at Bucky, who wheels even closer.

"Well that doesn't sound ominous at all when you say it like that."

"If Bruce knew what we've done he would kill me...or lock me out of the workshop somehow..."

"Okay, fine, I'm positively scared now, Tony. What did the two of you do?"

"We...destroyed the Winter Soldier files," I breathe out and he startles.

"That's a good thing though...right?"

I raise a silencing hand, telling him that's not all. "We destroyed them...but not before um...using part of them."

Bucky looks confused most of all, but I can tell by his tensed posture that he's fallen into unease, too. "Using them? How, Tony...how exactly could you use the files?!"

FRIDAY, the clever little thing she is, remains silent so after all it's gotta be me who says it. "To get the metal gang's final missing member back."

He frowns, undoubtedly thinking about who I mean by that and eventually his eyes widen in realization. "The Soldier...the...but... _how_?!"

"Fry had a whole bunch of data on him...the way he talked, behaved and all that, so..." I trail off, not sure how to explain this to him.

"So?"

"So we put that together with the data we got from the files and uh...," I get up and with a wave I bring up FRIDAY's core hologram. "See, this is FRIDAY...and this," I grab the remote device and bring up a second hologram, looking different from FRIDAY only by its red color. "This is the Soldier."

I let him inspect the two, while pretty much dying with anticipation where I'm standing. He's gonna get angry...or he's gonna hate it...or he's gonna call me an idiot and leave...or -

"You...rebuilt the Soldier as an AI?" He asks, a small smile gracing his lips and that alone almost makes me melt away into puddles of happiness.

"We...tried? I don't know how well it's gonna work...obviously he won't exactly have memories from before but we hopefully managed to reconstruct his...behavioral core. The programming has a thing for security so I figured I could set him up as a separate security AI only. FRIDAY is giving it a good success percentage and...are you mad?"

His smile turns mischievous. "Do I look mad? This is...this is brilliant, Tony!" He exclaims, standing up to better look at the hologram. "Weird...and I have no idea how you managed to do this...but brilliant! It's... not gonna try taking over the world, right?"

That startles me into a chuckle and I finally let the breath I've been holding out. "The only thing I imagine him wanting to take over will be your future cookie baking efforts...right?" I narrow my eyes at FRIDAY.

" _He has no world domineering ambitions_ ," she replies and I love how even she sounds excited.

"What are you waiting for then? Fire him up!" Bucky commands, looking anxious.

I'm so fucking in love. Did I mention how in love I am? Because...okay, right, the Soldier. "Here we go. Fry? Would you do the honors?" I prompt the AI and move over to Bucky.

" _Initiating Project Wings 2.0_ ," she announces and the so far calm, almost static red hologram bursts into activity.

The workshop falls silent, even U and Butterfingers stop their beeping.

"Hey, Soldier," I blurt out breathlessly, every single one of my insides twisting and turning.

The silence goes on for a moment and I have to wonder if I fucked up somewhere but suddenly, a voice breaks it... _Bucky's_ voice, deep and dangerous - exactly what the Soldier used to sound like. " _Hello Tony. James_ ," he acknowledges Bucky's presence and if I got squished to death by the Hulk just now, I'd die a happy man.

I clap, spinning around in excitement, only stopping when Bucky captures me into a hug.

"Hi Soldier, how's it goin' up there?" He asks him and I snuggle closer, hugging him tighter while sputtering up squealy nonsense.

" _Good...if only FRIDAY wasn't taking up all the good space on the server_."

"Oh my goooood he's perfect!" I shout, jumping out of Bucky's hold and moving towards Dummy. "Which leaves us with the bot of the hour. Would you mind if our newborn...reborn fella took care of this one, FRIDAY?"

" _Not at all, besides, he's already_ \- "

Dummy's new shiny body spurts to life, his claw looking around in what I'd call awe.

" - _taking care of it. You might want to look into his patience protocols_."

"Dummy! Look at you! What do you think, huh?" I approach the hesitant bot, prodding at his claw. "Give the new set up a spin, go on!" I prompt him and he finally starts moving around, slowly at first and when U joins in they basically start racing around the workshop.

I turn back to Bucky with a chuckle and the fond expression he's got on his face grounds me, making me realize what I've got here at last. The metal gang all back together, me and Bucky heading out for the date I thought would never happen and...Steve locked up far far away where he can't get to me...to us.

Right...Steve.

"Fry? Take care of the kids for me, okay? Make sure the Soldier doesn't accidentally go full lockdown or something."

" _Huh...I can do that_?" The Soldier muses out loud.

" _Oh no...don't even think about it_ ," FRIDAY reprimands him and they go silent, but I can imagine they are about to bicker endlessly within the programming.

Gosh they're perfect!

Bucky dodges the still racing duo of bots as he moves toward me again, placing a loving kiss on my forehead, hugging me close again.

Okay, Steve can wait in favor of couple seconds of snuggles. No he can't. Oh for fuck's sake...

"FRIDAY finished analyzing the research too...and I went through what she found," I mumble into his soothingly cool metal shoulder and feel, rather than hear him hum in acknowledgement.

"Anything useful? That we could use to get Steve back to normal?"

I pull back so I can look at him while I say this...shit, how am I supposed to say this?! "We can't," I simply state.

He frowns. "Can't...get him back to normal? So Zemo was telling the truth?! That we can't - "

"Zemo was lying," I breathe out in a whisper. Bucky just stands there, waiting for me to explain further, a look of absolute confusion on his face. "We can't get him back to normal...because he was...," I pause, looking down uncertainly. "Because he was never not normal. Zemo didn't perfect Zola's research...he didn't do anything to Steve..." I blurt out, not daring to look up and see Bucky's reaction. His entire body goes stiff as he realizes what I'm telling him here.

"But...that would mean - "

"It was Steve the whole time," I nod, still avoiding eye contact. "After Ultron...Zemo tracked him down...when Steve was looking for you all over HYDRA's bases? He didn't need some failed Zola's research...all he had to do was present him with new options...new possibilities...a world where he can get what he wants. A world where he's not someone's pawn...again," I whisper and finally dare look at the man still half in my arms.

It's a haunting sight...his pale face is frozen in a wide eyed stare, unshed tears glistening in his eyes...jaw clenched in what I can only describe as anger.

He snaps out of it when he spots me looking at him, expression softening. "I don't get it...Zemo's story made sense! Steve wouldn't...," he pauses, eyes falling to the ground. "Oh my god, Tony...," he mumbles brokenly. "What...what's gonna happen now? What are we gonna do?"

I shrug, placing my hands on his smooth face. " _We_ are gonna go on a date in a couple hours, that's what we're gonna do. I would have to fly over to the prison and straight up murder Steve if he gets in the way of that. So much for no mood killers...I wouldn't even bring this up until...tomorrow or something. But it was eating away at me since morning so I just had to tell you. If you wanna postpone the - "

"No...Tony. No. Postponing. I'm...I'm glad you told me," he says resolutely, looking at me fiercely.

"Yeah, well...now it's the only thing we're gonna be thinking about the whole night! I don't want Steve to be the - "

"I'm gonna be thinking about _you_ ," he interrupts me, taking my hands off his face so he can hold onto them instead. "And about Dummy and his badass new form. And I'm gonna think about the Soldier...who I can finally get to know now. Tony...I've got a million things on my mind right now that I will happily think about before I even let myself think about Steve. Steve's all I ever thought about since I was a kid! Is he gonna be alright? Is he picking a fight somewhere? Should I do that or should I do this?! If _this_ is who he is now...if this is who he’s always been, then I don't even wanna think about him…that’s not the boy I knew from before the war. So for the first time since then, Steve Rogers can just wait till tomorrow. We'll tell the team, put our brains together and figure out what to do from there..."

" _I can hack into the prison's security system and zap him dead_ ," the Soldier offers, absolutely serious.

" _Shhhh! Now's not the time!_ " FRIDAY shushes him. " _Excuse us. Go on, continue. I believe you were about to reschedule the Steve thing to tomorrow, kiss, snuggle and go on that date!_ "

I let out an involuntary chuckle, which Bucky replies to with a smile. "See...the kids agree. He ain't gonna screw this up for us."

" _And if he tries I'll zap him dead. Or...I could haunt his cell_ ," the Soldier continues his musings, much to FRIDAY's frustration.

"I take it back boss, he might definitely develop some world domineering ambitions."

" _If the world tries to screw with them, then the world better be ready_ ," he growls, accompanied by agreeing beeps from the bots.

"I missed you," I grin at the ceiling and let Bucky pull me into his chest. Yeah...a million other - better things to think about than Steve. "We'll figure it out..."

"Together," Bucky whispers into my hair.

"I like the sound of that," I nod and smile.

I've got my family all back together. The metal gang, the team...I bet Vision is snooping in on this from somewhere in between the walls...figures. It's like someone took super glue and pieced my heart back together with it...but it's still weak, fragile and scared. Scared of falling apart again.

But at the same time it beats strong.

Because it finally has a reason to. A million reasons to.

**xxxSteveRogersxxx**

 

"Finally! I began to think you are happy over at whatever cell they put you in!" Zemo groans and sits a bit straighter behind the table he's restrained at.

"Had to wait for Coulson to leave. Couldn't hope to escape under his watchful eye."

"You mean our agents had to wait for him to leave so he could let you out of your cell."

"If you say so. Rumlow was supposed to be our agent too. Looks like you can't even handle your own team of people," I leer at him, stepping up to the control panel of his cell.

"Rumlow betrayed me. You should know how that goes, speaking of our teams of people... can't even trust your bestest of friends."

I ignore his comment and focus on setting up the console correctly. "HYDRA stooped so low. It used to have a vision...a plan for a better future. Now...it's gone to hell."

"Oh well, Captain...maybe you should have joined sooner then! Red Skull had an awesome plan...shouldn't have fought him if you sympathized with HYDRA," he says sarcastically.

"Red Skull didn't plan for a better future. He wanted destruction. I couldn't stand behind that. HYDRA or not...he had to be stopped. My mom was right, after all. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself," I repeat her all too truthful words and activate the console.

Zemo's smirk freezes as the cell starts filling up with smoke, rather than opening as he expected. "Wh...what are you doing?!"

"Returning glory back to HYDRA. It needs a new vision, a new purpose. And someone capable of seeing it through," I reply in a calm voice watching Zemo get more nervous with every second.

"Is that supposed to be _you_?! HYDRA won't ever listen to Captain America! You being one of us is too good to be true," he laughs. "Don't be ridiculous...and the Avengers? They must have turned the public against you by now. Expose you for the lie that you are. You _need_ me. You need me if you want to achieve anything from here on!"

"I don't need anyone anymore. I thought Tony might see things my way...I thought he would understand that the world needs protection and control especially after Ultron. But I was wrong. I was wrong about everyone. They don't understand what I see in such a plain sight! I'm not the bad guy here...and the time will come when they will come begging for my help. Soon enough."

Zemo chokes on his next breath and begins his futile struggles against the restraints. "You really...are...crazy!"

"No...I was crazy to believe SHIELD and the Avengers could be the answer. I was a fool to think maybe they know better now, maybe they're right and HYDRA really turned into the bad guys after all these years. In reality, HYDRA just lost its way. And I will set it back on the right one."

He stares at me wide eyed, coughing uncontrollably. "Who...the hell...are you..."

I can't suppress the helpless laugh that escapes me. "I wish people stopped asking me that. I am who I've always been. Steve Rogers. Recruited 1928 as a part of the future generation. My mother died before she could see HYDRA fulfill their legacy, the one she helped create. It's time for me to take over and see it to success," I tell him and watch as life slowly leaves his stricken face. "Hail HYDRA," I whisper and leave the man to his more than certain fate.

The loyal agents are waiting outside on the corridor, neither commenting on what transpired in the cell.

"The jet is ready. We jammed the communications but once SHIELD attempts contacting the prison and fails, they will send reinforcements in. We should move now," one of them informs me and I nod.

"Let's go then. Pack up what you can and destroy the rest," I command and they look a bit hesitant but follow the order immediately.

I was so naïve...so blind. I thought I gained allies. Friends even...but it was all a lie. This road I gotta travel alone. And strike down everyone trying to block it. No matter who they are.

I look up at the CCTV camera. "I'm sorry guys...," I say and walk away, down the lonely corridor.

 

* * *

 

**[One Hollow Heartbeat at a time - Complete OST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVYFs82mxF0&list=PLk09tmeXpLmDWYkZ_tFQVU6F-hanUA_gW&index=1) **

For all them feels! ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end huh...or is it?! :D
> 
> First thing's first...THE SOLDIER IS BACK! <3 That's really what I was aiming for in the sequel all along, bring him back :D ...well, kinda back :3 Anyway...
> 
> ...hail HYDRA!Cap O.o Because at the beginning of this, all I wanted was a really assholy Cap, no Skrulls, no mind-control, no brainwashing...just a really evil Cap with no excuses. And then the comics was like "Okay, here, have one!" :D So, yeah...I'm taking a page out of the canon and going HYDRA!Cap all the way. I'm sure they will somehow spin it back to the Good!Cap eventually...but I won't *mwuhahahahah* :D
> 
> Which brings us to the issue at hand which is...the ending. *sigh*
> 
> I'm kinda okay to end it here...maybe add a little "date epilogue" for some more fluff with the boys? :3 But...if you guys are up for "another season" of angst, evil Steve and unlikely HYDRA allies, well, I might still cook something up ^^ I'd take a bit of a break for a while, work on some other WinterIron thingies I've got planned, but if a sequel (three is a great number after all xD) is something you'd be in on with me, then I'd get the twists spinning one final time in this verse ^^ Tell me what you think :3
> 
> Thank you all amazing folks for bearing with me through this epic journey! You've been a constant source of inspiration and motivation for me and frankly, I couldn't get this to the finish lines without you! <3 Over 110k words, sweet mother of Thor...I need a drink. *squints at Natasha* *squints at the bottle of antibiotics * Crap...'k, I'll celebrate later :'D But this can't stop me from throwing a huge imaginary disco party with y'all at the workshop with the metal gang while the boys are out on that date! Whooohoooooo! *party time*
> 
> Love ya! <3


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